Part 12 (1/2)
He put his lips close to her ear.
”One kiss,” he said softly, and then turned them to meet hers.
Christine gave him the kiss, and it was as he had said. The stress upon her heart was loosened. She felt that she had told him all.
”You are mine,” he said, in a calm, low voice of controlled exultation, although, even as he said it, he loosed her from his arms and suffered her to move away from him and sink into a chair. He came and sat down opposite her, repeating the words he had spoken.
”No,” she said, ”I am my own! I am the stronger to be so, now that the whole truth is known to you. Mr. Noel, I have only to tell you good-by.
To-night must be the very last of it.”
”Mr. Noel!” he threw the words back to her, with a little scornful laugh. ”You can never call me that again, without feeling it the hollowest pretence! I tell you you are mine!”
The a.s.sured, determined calm of his tones and looks began to frighten her. She saw the struggle before her a.s.suming proportions that made her fear for herself--not for the strength of her resolve, but for her power to carry it out. She could only repeat, as if to fortify herself:
”I will never marry you.”
”Why?” he asked.
”Because--ah, because I love you too much. Be merciful, and let that thought plead for me.”
”It is for the same reason that I will never give you up. It is no use to oppose me now, Christine. You are mine and I am yours.”
”But if you know that you make me suffer--”
”I know, too, that I can comfort you. I know I can make you happy, beyond your highest dreams. I know I can take you away from every a.s.sociation of sadness, far off to beautiful foreign countries where no one will know us for anything but what we are--what alone we shall be henceforth, a man and woman who love each other and who have been united in the holy bond of marriage, which G.o.d has blessed--just a husband and wife, Christine--get used to the dear names and thought--with whose right to love each other no one will have anything to do. If the idea of the past disturbs you we will get rid of it by going where we have no past, where no one will ever have heard of us before. As for ourselves, Christine, I can give you my honor that there is nothing in the past of either of us that disturbs me for one pulse-beat, and I'll engage to make you forget all that it pains you to remember. Why, it is a simple thing to do. We send for a clergyman, and here in this room, with Mrs.
Murray and Eliza and Harriet for witnesses, we are married to-morrow morning! In the afternoon we sail for Europe, to begin our long life of happiness together. You know whether I could make you happy or not, Christine. You know whether your heart longs to go with me--just as surely as I know that my one possible chance of happiness is in getting your consent to be my wife.”
”I cannot!” she said, ”I cannot! We must think of others beside ourselves. If you are willing to sacrifice yourself, think of your mother and sisters!”
”Sacrifice myself! I sacrifice myself only if I give you up. You must feel the falseness of such a use of the word. As for my mother and sisters, I ask you to test that matter. Agree to marry me and I promise that they will come to our wedding, and my mother will call you daughter, and my sisters will call you sister, and they will open their hearts to you and love you.”
”Because your will is all-powerful with them,” she said.
”Yes, partly because they trust and believe in me, and will sanction what I do; and also because--in spite of a good deal of surface conventionality and worldliness--they are right-minded, true-hearted, good women, who will only need to know your whole history, as I know it, and to realize my love for you, as I can make them realize it, to feel that our marriage is the right and true and only issue of it all.”
Christine felt herself terribly shaken. She did not dare to look at Noel lest her eyes might betray her, and she would not for anything have him to know how she was weakened in her resolve by what he had said of his mother and sisters. The conviction with which he spoke had carried its own force to her mind, and she suddenly found the strongest weapon with which she had fought her fight shattered in her hands. He saw that she was weakening, but he would not take advantage of it. She was so white and tremulous; her breath came forth so quick and short; the drawn lines about her mouth were so piteous that he felt she must be spared.
”I will not press you now, Christine,” he said; ”take time to think about it. Let me come again to-morrow morning. I will leave you now and you must try to rest. Talk freely to Mrs. Murray. Ask her what you must do. Remember that I consent to wait, only because I am so determined.
Listen to me one moment. I swear before Heaven I will never give you up.
You gave yourself to me in that kiss, and you are mine.”
”Yes,” she said, as if that struggle were over with her now, ”I am yours. I know it. Even if we part forever I am always yours. I will tell you what I will do. Your mother shall know everything and she shall decide.”
He was at once afraid and glad, and Christine saw it.
”I must see your mother,” she began.
”I will see her for you. I will tell her everything and you shall see she will be for us. But if she should not, I warn you, Christine, I will not give you up for any one alive.”