Part 14 (1/2)

Drew stood in the center of the deck and watched his cousin leave, wondering how he could make things right with Alison and Kevin without making everything else infinitely worse in the process.

Alison looked at the clock above the kitchen stove for the umpteenth time and told herself she wasn't nervous. Drew had made it perfectly clear how he felt about her. That should have been a relief considering a man was the last thing she needed in her life. He'd let her down easy; she should be thanking him instead of moping around the house like a teenager in the throes of her first breakup.

I think we ought to cool it for a while...

But his words stung. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he didn't want her around, that he didn't want Kevin around. She told herself it didn't hurt, that the rejection hadn't cut her deeply. But she knew it was a lie. Drew's cool dismissal of her, of her son, had hurt plenty.

It had taken her most of the morning, but Alison had finally realized why her friends.h.i.+p with Drew wasn't going to work. He was too caught up in the fact that she was Rick's widow. It was obvious he had issues with that. Frankly, she did, too; there was nothing even remotely easy about any of this. But evidently her reluctance to get involved was to a much lesser degree. Because while Alison had been able to grieve and heal and move on with her life, Drew had not.

She wasn't sure what to do about it. Maybe nothing, because she wasn't sure those kinds of feelings could be fixed. All she could do was keep her distance and hope he would someday be able to put Rick's death behind him. Maybe then she and Drew could be friends. But not now, she realized. Not now because for the first time since her husband had died, Alison was able to admit she wanted more. Evidently, more than Drew was ready to give.

Standing alone in her sunny kitchen the realization was no comfort whatsoever.

s.n.a.t.c.hing up the kitchen towel, she rubbed at a nonexistent smudge on the counter. She and Kevin would get along just fine without him, she a.s.sured herself. They'd gotten along without him for the past four years. They would continue getting along without him.

Maybe all the way from San Diego.

Alison didn't want to move-she loved Emerald Cove-but she was considering San Diego. In fact, she'd already called the clinic there. They'd asked her to forward copies of Kevin's medical records, which she would do first thing in the morning. The doctors had come very highly recommended. Her brother had even offered the extra bedroom in his house until she and Kevin could find a small house or apartment near the clinic.

Alison wasn't proud of the fact that she'd chosen Emerald Cove over San Diego because of Drew. The snap decision was going to cost her plenty. Maybe even their friends.h.i.+p. She shouldn't have let that happen. Now that he'd made his feelings clear-and she was so uncertain about her own-she figured the move would be best for everyone.

The doorbell rang three times in quick succession-Kevin's trademark ring-and she knew he and Drew had arrived home from their fis.h.i.+ng excursion. Setting the towel on the counter, Alison took a deep breath and headed toward the door. She could hear Kevin laughing and smiled, but at the same time felt a profound moment of sadness. Her son cared for and respected Drew so much. It hurt knowing she would be taking that away from him. On the other hand, if she didn't put an end to their budding relations.h.i.+p now, Kevin could end up getting hurt. He didn't need any more losses in his young life. Frankly, neither did she.

Alison opened the door to find Kevin and Drew standing on her porch with big grins and sunburned faces beneath sweat-stained caps. She looked down at her son and thought she'd never seen him look so utterly adorable.

”Mommy! You shoulda seen the fish I caught!” He stretched his arms as wide as they would go. ”It was this big! It was so big Drew had to get out the net and help me reel him in.”

”Wow,” she said, impressed despite herself.

”Fourteen-pound grouper,” Drew put in.

”Yeah! A groucher!”

”That's grouper, sprout.”

”It sounds like the fis.h.i.+ng mission was a success.” When she could no longer put it off, Alison finally looked at Drew. He gazed back at her steadily with an inscrutable expression. She sensed him holding back. It seemed he was always holding back, she thought, and the realization only strengthened her resolve about the move to San Diego.

”I need to talk to you,” Drew said evenly.

Her heart gave a couple of hard raps against her ribs before she willed it to slow. From his tone, she sensed he wanted to talk to her privately, away from the sensitive ears of her son. Just what she needed: a lecture from Drew on all the reasons he wanted to ”cool it.”

Kneeling, she tugged on Kevin's T-s.h.i.+rt. ”How about a hug for your mom?”

Grinning from ear to ear, Kevin threw his arms around her.

”Did you have a good time?” she asked.

”Yeah! I wanna do it again tomorrow.”

She chuckled. ”You smell a little fishy.”

”Do not!”

Easing him to arm's length she touched the tip of his nose with her finger. ”And you're sunburned, too.”

”It doesn't hurt.”

”Are you hungry?”

”Yeah. Hey, maybe Drew can stay for dinner, Mommy! Wouldn't that be great?” He squirmed away from her. ”Drew, do you want to stay for dinner?”

Alison closed her eyes briefly, then glanced over at Drew. ”Drew probably has things to do, honey.” Gently grasping Kevin's shoulders, she guided him toward the bathroom. ”Let's get you into the tub and scrub that fishy smell off you while I whip up some dinner, okay?”

Kevin made a halfhearted attempt to escape the horrors of bath time, but in the end Alison got him into the tub with his mini jet ski and a boatload of bubbles. Leaving the door open so she could hear him, she walked into the living room to find Drew standing near the door, looking out through the front window.

”What did you want to talk to me about?” she asked.

He turned to her, but he wasn't smiling. In fact, he didn't even look friendly. ”Kevin thinks I don't want you here in South Florida. That's c.r.a.p, Alison, and you know it.”

She felt the words as if he'd struck her. ”I don't know why he would think something like-”

”He overheard you talking to your sister.”

Remembering the conversation she'd had with Kimberly, Alison turned away from him, not wanting him to see the quiver of pain that ran the length of her. ”I didn't realize he'd overheard.”

”Yeah, well, he did and he's upset. I'd appreciate if you'd set the record straight. I don't want that boy thinking I don't want him here.”

No, she thought, it would be her job to break the news to him. ”I'll talk to him.”

”What's this about your moving to San Diego?”

Alison needed a moment to catch her breath, but he wasn't cooperating. ”There's a clinic in San Diego,” she said. ”I told you about it.”

”You told me you had decided to settle down here.”

She stared at him, wondering if she really wanted to get to the heart of the matter. If she wanted to put that much of herself on the line. Or if they were both better off just letting it go. ”Look, Drew, some things happened between us. I didn't plan it, but it happened nonetheless.” Feeling at a loss, she shrugged. ”You made your position perfectly clear.”

”I made it clear that I didn't want to get involved with you. That doesn't mean I don't want to be your friend. That doesn't mean I don't want to be a friend to Kevin. Or that I don't want both of you around.”

”Maybe this isn't about what you want.”

”Can you stand there and tell me moving to San Diego is what you want?”

A dozen responses tangled in her throat, but she couldn't bring herself to speak any of them. How could she relay what was in her heart without making an utter fool of herself? ”I'll talk to Kevin and explain this to him as best I can. It's going to be difficult, considering I don't quite understand it myself.”