Part 15 (1/2)

”I should not dare to do it to please myself,” I hastily replied.

I thought I must have said something wrong, for he turned away with a peculiar smile. I colored with vexation, and was glad that Edith came in to divert his attention from me.

Nothing could be more gentle and affectionate than his greeting. He went up and kissed her, as if she were a little child, put his arm round her, and taking one of her crutches, made her lean on him for support. I understood something of the secret of her idolatry.

Where was the impenetrable reserve of which his mother had spoken?

I had not yet seen him in society. As he talked with Edith, his head slightly bent and his profile turned towards me, I could look at him un.o.bserved, and I was struck even more than the evening before with the transparent paleness of his complexion. Dark, delicate, and smooth as alabaster, it gave an air of extreme refinement and sensibility to his face, without detracting from its manliness or intellectual power. It was a face to peruse, to study, to think of,--it was a baffling, haunting face. Hieroglyphics of thought were there, too mysterious for the common eye to interpret. It was a dark lantern, flas.h.i.+ng light before it, itself all in shadow.

”It is a shame that you must leave us, Gabriella,” said Edith, when after breakfast her pony was brought to the door. ”Ernest,” added she, turning to him, ”I am _so_ glad you are come. You must persuade mamma to lay her commands on Gabriella, and not permit her to make such a slave of herself. I feel guilty to be at home doing nothing and she toiling six long hours.”

”It is Gabriella's own choice,” cried Mrs. Linwood, a slight flush crossing her cheek. ”Is it not, my child?”

”Your wisdom guided my choice, dear madam,” I answered, ”and I thank you for it.”

”It would seem more natural to think of Miss--of Gabriella--as a pupil, than a teacher,” observed Ernest, ”if youth is the criterion by which we judge.”

”I am seventeen--in my eighteenth year,” said I eagerly, urged by an unaccountable desire that he should not think me too young.

”A very grave and reverend age!” said he sarcastically.

I thought Mrs. Linwood looked unusually serious, and fearing I had said something wrong, I hastened to depart. Dearly as I loved my benefactress, it was not ”that perfect love which casteth out fear.” As her benevolence was warm, her justice was inflexible. Hers was the kind hand, but the firm nerves that could sustain a friend, while the knife of the surgeon entered the quivering flesh. She shrunk not from inflicting pain, if it was for another's good; but if she wounded with one hand, she strewed balm with the other. Her influence was strong, controlling, almost irresistible. Like the suns.h.i.+ne that forced the wind-blown traveller to throw aside his cloak, the warmth of her kindness penetrated, but it also _compelled_.

I had a growing conviction that though she called me her adopted child, she did not wish me to presume upon her kindness so far as to look upon her son in the familiar light of a brother. There was no fear of my transgressing her wishes in this respect. I had already lost my dread,--my awe was melting away, but I could no more approach him with familiarity than if fourfold bars of gold surrounded him. I had another conviction, that she encouraged and wished me to return the attachment of Richard Clyde. Her urgent advice had induced me to accept the proffered correspondence with him,--a compliance which I afterwards bitterly regretted. He professed to write only as a _friend_, according to the bond, but amid the evergreen wreath of friends.h.i.+p, he concealed the glowing flowers of love. He was to return home in a few weeks. The commencement was approaching, which was to liberate him from scholastic fetters and crown him with the honors of manhood.

”Why,” thought I, ”should Richard make me dread his return, when I would gladly welcome him with joy? Why in wis.h.i.+ng to be more than a friend, does he make me desire that he should be less? And now Ernest Linwood is come back, of whom he so strangely warned me, methinks I dread him more than ever.”

Mrs. Linwood would attend the commencement. I had heard her tell Richard so. I had heard her repeat her intention since her son's return. _He_, of course, would feel interested in meeting his old cla.s.s mates and friends. They would all feel interested in seeing and hearing how Richard Clyde sustained his proud distinction.

”Gabriella, especially,” said Edith with a smile, which, sweet as it was, I thought extremely silly. I blushed with vexation, when Ernest, lifting his grave eyes from his book, asked who was Richard Clyde.

”You have seen him when he was quite a youth,” answered his mother, ”but have probably forgotten him. He is a young man of great promise, and has been awarded the first honors of his cla.s.s. I feel a deep interest in him for his own sake, and moreover I am indebted to him for my introduction to our own Gabriella.”

”Indeed!” repeated her son, and glancing towards me, his countenance lighted up with a sudden look of intelligence.

Why need Mrs. Linwood have said that? Why need she have a.s.sociated him so intimately and significantly with me? And why could I not keep down the rising crimson, which might be attributed to another source than embarra.s.sment? I opened my lips to deny any interest in Richard beyond that of friendly acquaintances.h.i.+p; but Mrs. Linwood's mild, serene, yet resolute eyes, beat mine down and choked my eager utterance.

Her eyes said as clearly as words could say, ”what matters it to my son, how little or how great an interest you feel in Richard Clyde or any other person?”

”You must accompany us, Gabriella,” she said, with great kindness. ”You have never witnessed this gathering of the literati of our State, and I know of no one who would enjoy it more. It will be quite an intellectual banquet.”

”I thank you, but I cannot accept the invitation,” I answered, suppressing a sigh, not of disappointment at the necessity of refusal, but of mortification at the inference that would probably be drawn from this conversation. ”My vacation does not begin till afterwards.”

”I think I can intercede with Mr. Regulus to release you,” said Mrs.

Linwood.

”Thank you,--I do not wish to go,--indeed I would much rather not, unless,” I added, fearful I had spoken too energetically, ”you have an urgent desire that I should.”

”I wish very much to make you happy, and I think you would enjoy far more than you now antic.i.p.ate. But there is time enough to decide. There will be a fortnight hence.”

”But the dresses, mamma,” cried Edith; ”you know she will need new dresses if she goes, and they will require some time to prepare.”

”As Gabriella will not _come out_, as it is called, till next winter,”