Part 14 (1/2)

”Bye,” I said but couldn't take a step to go. ”Caleb.”

He glanced at me.

”I'm sorry,” he said sincerely. ”It'll get easier, I promise. Maggie, I want you to go inside and get some sleep. Don't worry about anything. I'll see in the morning, I promise. And I can't wait.”

Then somehow I turned and made it to the steps, albeit wobbling and stumbling in my stupor. It was actually painful to watch him mount the bike and drive away. My gut twisted and pulled as I closed the door and leaned my back against it. My feet tingled and begged to take off running after him. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, smiling and remembered his words to me about seeing me in the morning.

I pushed off the door and stepped into the foyer and saw my dad, sitting at the kitchen table.

”Did you have a good time?”

I was flabbergasted. What was up with him?

”Uh, yeah. Sure, dad.”

”Not too good I hope.”

”Dad. Eew,” I said as I poured myself a gla.s.s of water.

”I'm still your father, Maggie. You may not like it but you are not an adult yet. I want you to be careful with that boy. And I don't remember you getting permission to ride on a motorcycle.”

”I didn't think I needed permission. He had a helmet and jacket for me. He's very responsible.”

”I'm sure, but that's not the point.”

”What is the point, dad?”

”That you're seventeen and still live under my roof. You can't just do whatever you want to do.”

”I'm not. I told you I was going out and you said it was fine.”

He grunted and ran both his hands through his hair.

”That's not what I'm talking about.”

”What are you talking about?” I asked exasperated.

”Look, I-” He choked on his words.

Like really choked up. His head bowed and he sniffed. I saw his shoulders shake. His hand came up to swipe his face and I couldn't take it anymore. I walked swiftly to him and knelt down in front of him.

”Aw, dad. What is it?”

”Maggie. I am so sorry.”

”What for, dad?”

He looked at me closely.

”I did everything I could for your mother. She was everything to me. And then you came along and you were everything too. My girls. Then your mom left for no reason, out of the blue and took everything with her. She was spiteful and hateful. She didn't care what happened to you or me and I couldn't handle it. I loved her with everything I had and she gave me no reason, no real reason, for leaving. Just that I held her back. I don't know what I did to her and I know that I've been a horrible person, let alone father, to you lately. I was bitter and nasty. I know you've been angry with me- for good reason. You just look so much like her and are so independent, I just a.s.sumed you didn't need me or didn't want me like she didn't.” He took my face in his hands, the first time he's touched me at all in almost a year and I saw another tear roll down his chin. ”But I love you so much. It took me seeing you walking out that door with someone who could actually take you away for me to remember that. I'm so sorry, Maggie.”

He hugged me to him tightly, crushed me to him really. My body was rebelling. It wanted to remind me of all the things he had said to me. All the things he needed to have done or said and didn't. He let his grief over my mom ruin his life and I let my grief for him ruin mine.

I felt utterly at his mercy. My heart ached with wanting. I wanted him to be telling the truth so badly that it hurt. I needed him, as much as I took care of myself, I still needed my dad.

”Maggie, please forgive me. I know you're about to turn eighteen and you'll probably be leaving home soon. I can't live with knowing how I've hurt you without trying to fix it.”

He sniffed again and pulled back to look at me.

”Dad, I understand. I do. I know it sucked for us both when mom left but you more than me. She was my mom but your wife. It's different, I know that. But I've missed you.”

”I've missed you too. I'm so sorry.” He hugged me to him. ”I love you, baby girl.”

”I love you too, daddy.”

”I have an idea. Why don't we go to the boathouse? I'm sure that old place is still available. We can just spend some time away, you and me?”

Before I could balk at his idea- for he knew nothing of my predicament with Caleb- the doorbell rang.

I went to answer it and peeked out the peephole.

Caleb. And he looked nervous.

I opened the door. He sighed with relief and pulled me to him.

”Oh, thank G.o.d. You heart was going nuts and I could feel you were upset. I thought something was wrong.” He pulled back to look at me and wiped a tear from my cheek. I didn't even realize I'd been crying. ”You are upset. What's wrong? What happened?”

”My dad and I were just...patching things up, I guess.”

I heard my dad coming and pulled from Caleb's grasp, painful as it was.

”Maggie, it's midnight. Who in the world could it...be?” Dad stopped in the doorway and stared with a mixture of curiosity and annoyance. ”Caleb. It's kinda late, son.”

”Yes, sir. I uh...just needed to check on something.”

”What's that?”

”Dad,” I interrupted. ”Caleb forgot to tell me what time he was coming tomorrow. He wanted to make sure it wasn't too early.”