Part 29 (1/2)
”Does she look like me?”
”She's lovely, if that's what you mean. I brought pictures a ”
Vix reaches for her bag but before she can open it, Caitlin says, ”Not yet. I can't do this yet a okay?”
Vix mouths her answer without saying it. Okay.
On the final morning of Vix's visit, Caitlin says, ”I'd like to see those pictures now.” They're having breakfast in their room, with the shutters thrown open so they can watch the boats gliding gracefully along the ca.n.a.l.
Vix hands the photos of Maizie to Caitlin and watches as she carefully studies each one. ”Is she sad?” Caitlin asks. ”She looks sad in this picture.”
”Sad? No. She's quiet, sensitive, but I wouldn't describe her as sad. She loves to hear stories about you.”
”What do you tell her?”
”About us a when we were young. I take her to the Flying Horses. She calls her favorite horse Mudhead.”
Caitlin looks away for a minute. ”Is she okay with Abby and Lamb?”
”Abby's a a” She's about to say that Abby is a good mother, a loving mother, but that would imply Caitlin wasn't, so she stops herself.
”I always thought Abby would be a good mother if she weren't so intense.”
”She's more relaxed with Maizie.”
Caitlin nods. ”What about Bru?”
”He spends time with her, especially in summer.”
”That's not what I mean.”
”Married to Star, from the health food store. He always had a thing for vitamins.”
They laugh for a minute then Caitlin grows serious again. ”Do they have a”
”A boy and she's pregnant again.”
Caitlin sips her cappuccino. This can't be easy for her but Vix reminds herself she's the one who left.
”What about you a” Caitlin asks. ”Are you happy?”
Vix holds her belly. She thinks about how lucky she is to have Gus, the baby that's coming. Her life is filled with friends.h.i.+p and love. She gets teary and homesick thinking of all of them. ”Yes, I'm happy,” she tells Caitlin.
”No regrets?”
”Regrets?”
”About Bru a”
Bru? It's funny, because when she sees him now he's more like an old friend than a lover. They talk about Maizie, about the building bust of the late eighties and early nineties. Business is picking up again since the President vacationed on the Vineyard two summers in a row. The islanders gripe about the influx of the rich and famous, but the rich and famous are good for the local economy.
”No regrets about Bru,” she tells Caitlin. But she does have regrets. She regrets that Nathan's life was cut short, that she and Lanie and Lewis aren't close. Most of all, she regrets that Caitlin couldn't confide in her, couldn't ask for her support, because she understands now that Caitlin must have been deeply troubled to walk out on Bru, to leave Maizie. So she says, ”I have regrets about you.”
”Me?” Caitlin says.
”That you couldn't come to me when you were struggling,” Vix tells her, ”when you were in pain.”
”You think I was struggling? You think I was in pain?”
Vix nods.
”Why can't you see me for what I am?” Caitlin asks. ”A self-centered b.i.t.c.h who doesn't give a flying f.u.c.k about anybody but herself, who takes off when the going gets tough, who lies and cheats to get what she wants a who lies to her best friend just to stay ahead of the game.”
”No,” Vix tells her, ”that's not who you are.”
”I did Maizie the best favor I could by leaving.”
Vix shakes her head.
”Aren't you going to ask me how I could do it a how I could abandon my own child? Aren't you going to tell me what a f.u.c.kup I am?”
”I don't have to,” Vix says softly.
Caitlin's face crumples and she begins to cry. ”I'm useless, worse than Phoebe ever was.”
Vix holds her, strokes her hair, tries to comfort her.
”How can you care about me after all I've done to you?”
”To me? I don't think that's the issue a”
”But it is. I used you. I took everything I could from you.”
”I never saw it that way. I was grateful just to be your friend.”
”Then you're a fool,” Caitlin says. She fishes a tissue from the pocket of her linen dress and blows her nose. ”I'm thinking of marrying again.”
Vix is caught off guard.
”His family is from Tuscany. They own vineyards.” She laughs. ”Isn't that fitting? But they have business in Milan, too. Actually, that's where I met Antonio. He's handsome, thirty-seven, never married. He's perfect except he's a mama's boy. But then, all Italian men are. He wants bambini, of course. He doesn't know about Maizie. But how long can I keep her a secret?”