Part 13 (1/2)

Day or night, he went out whenever and wherever he chose, and he came back at whatever time suited him. In between, there were few hugs and gentle words for Lucy, and what there were, were merely part and parcel of having s.e.x. Otherwise, she rarely received a hug or a cuddle from him, except on the few occasions she made the first move.

Outside of the rare snippets of closeness, it seemed as though she was merely part of the furniture. And sadly, over time, she had come to accept her place.

Martin was outgoing, with a strong circle of friends. Being enthusiastic partic.i.p.ants in the darts team, and the football club, they regularly gathered in the pub, to swap stories and enjoy an hour or so together.

In contrast, Lucy hardly ever went out and had no real friends apart from Kathleen. Rarely did she buy herself a pretty dress, and even when she did treat herself to something attractive, she had nowhere to wear it. She did not see the point of spending money on frivolous pretties when it was needed elsewhere.

Consequently, over the years, she gently settled into the mother and housekeeper mantle. Like Martin, she worked long and hard to earn a wage, which went on the house and family.

Work, worry, and family duties. In a nutsh.e.l.l, that was her entire life.

Beginning to feel sorry for herself, she quickly counted her blessings. She had brought two beautiful children into the world, and alongside Martin, she had made a home for their family.

These good, positive things were now sadly overshadowed by the crippling knowledge that her husband preferred to sleep with his sister-in-law, rather than with his own wife.

That shocking discovery had cut so deep that it had taken away her confidence, her life as she knew it, and whatever small future she might have expected.

There seemed little left for her now.

However hard she tried to be positive, she now felt alone, afraid and abandoned.

CHAPTER NINE.

THE EVENING WAS already dark when Lucy closed the door on the house where she had been content for many years.

She glanced nervously down the street, wondering if Martin might come home, having reflected on his position and wanting to talk things through, but there was no sign of him, and in her bruised heart she was glad of that.

She lingered on the step for a sorry moment, remembering the years she had spent in this little house; quiet, uneventful years, where life had gently ticked away without even a noticeable ripple.

Before regrets overwhelmed her, she hurried down the path and onto the street, where she hastened her steps.

Sneaking many a backward glance as she hurried away, she felt a great wrench on realising how very young she had been when she and Martin had moved into that darling little house. It had been her home for more than twenty years, and regardless of recent events, it would always hold a fond place in her heart.

As she hurried along, her mind was alive with all manner of questions. Would Martin miss her? And what about her darling parents what would they have said about the situation she now found herself in?

Oh, how she missed them both! How desperately she needed just to see their homely faces again, to wrap her arms about their old shoulders and tell them how very much she loved them.

When the searing emotions overwhelmed her, it all became too much. Leaning against an alley wall, she dropped the suitcase to the ground, and holding her hands to her face, she cried like she had never cried before; like her heart was breaking. Like there was nothing left in this whole wide world that could ever make her happy again.

She sobbed until there were no more tears, aware there was no hope, and no one who would understand how lost she felt in that desolate moment.

'What are you doing, Lucy?' she asked herself quietly. 'Where are you going?'

She had no answers; only questions. And a crippling sense of unbearable loneliness.

A short time later, as she continued her way down the street to her daughter's house, Lucy paused to gather her thoughts. She reminded herself not to say anything to Anne or Sam about Martin and Paula. Instead, she would merely say that Kathleen had asked her to stay with her for a few days, and that she had accepted her gracious offer.

Minutes later, she was knocking on her daughter's door.

Anne was pleased but surprised to see her mother standing there. 'Mum! What's wrong?' She noticed the suitcase. 'What are you doing? Have you and Dad had a falling-out?' In the hallway she noticed Lucy's tear-stained face. 'You've been crying! Mum, what's going on?'

'I'm fine,' Lucy a.s.sured her. 'Stop worrying. I've just come round to tell you that I'm staying with Kathleen for a day or two ... just to get out of the house. And you're right, I have been crying. I can't seem to accept that Mum and Dad are gone. It was all too soon, too unexpected. But I'll be fine, sweetheart.' Lucy forced a smile. 'I'm a tough old bird!'

'Come on, Mum.' After standing the suitcase by the wall, Anne led the way into the kitchen. 'I'll put the kettle on.'

When the tea was made and the two of them were sitting in the front room, Anne remarked gently, 'You are not a ”tough old bird”. You're gentle and kind, and I would have had you here for as long as you want. So, why didn't you come to me?'

'Well, because there was no need. I'm coping all right. In fact, it was not me who asked Kathleen, it was her who asked me,' which was indeed true, as Lucy recalled. 'I told her I needed to be with my family at a time like this, but she said she knew me enough to realise that I was putting on a brave face, after losing your grandma and granddad. She said she understood how hard it was to lose a parent, and that she was fortunate enough to still have her father, while I had lost both of mine.' Lucy gave a sad little chuckle. 'I think she just wanted to mother me, that's all.'

'Well, I agree with her. You do put on a brave face. I mean, even I can't get to grips with losing both my grandparents in such a short time, so Lord only knows how you're dealing with it. Kathleen is right to ask you to stay with her. At the very least, it will give you a nice change of scene for a time.'

Lucy merely nodded, ashamed that she had lied to her own daughter, instead of confessing that she was throwing herself on Kathleen in order to escape from the dreadful situation Martin and Paula had created.

Anne, though, was still chatting. 'I think it's exactly what you need, Mum to be with a friend, someone to talk to. Especially with Dad working day and night like he does, and when he's not working, he's out with his mates. I'm glad you're getting away for a time. Trust me, Mum, it's just what you need, and Kathleen is such a good friend. But what did Dad have to say?'

Lucy smiled. 'Much like you just said,' she replied wisely, before changing the subject. 'Is Sam here?'

'No, he went out not long ago to meet up with his mates. He might stay over with one of them. Apparently they're hoping to go to college together.'

'Why didn't he give me a call?'

'Oh, but he did, Mum. He rang the house but there was no answer. I expect you were already on your way here. But where was Dad?'

'Oh, he popped round Paula's.' Which was not a lie.

'Hmm!' Anne groaned. 'What's happened now? Her boiler blown up, has it? Honestly, Mum, she always wants something done for nothing. And Dad never complains.'

'Oh, your dad doesn't mind going round there. He's only too glad to help, and besides, who else has she got?' Even now, Lucy found herself offering a way out for Martin and Paula, in order not to make Anne suspicious.

'Well, yeah. I suppose you're right.'

Lucy deliberately avoided the subject, and the two of them chatted about this and that and nothing in particular. Then Lucy said she had best get off. 'There's a bus from the bottom of the street in about ten minutes. If I hurry, I should be in time.'

Anne was concerned. 'I don't like you wandering about in the dark. It's a pity Les isn't back yet. He could have taken you over to Kathleen's.'

'Stop nagging. I'll be absolutely fine! Look, I'll ring you when I get there. How's that?'

'OK ... but don't forget, will you? I could walk to the bus stop with you, but Luke's asleep upstairs.'

'Is it all right if I peep in at him before I go?'

'Go on then, but try not to wake him. It took me ages to get him off.'

While Anne cleared the cups away, Lucy crept upstairs and took a peek at her grandson. 'Sleep tight, little fella.' She leaned over to plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. 'Your nanna loves you so very much.'

Taking his tiny hand in her fingertips, she gazed down on him a moment before reluctantly turning away to hurry downstairs.