Part 5 (2/2)
_06:: Al Capone (18991947) He killed people. He bought cops by the pre-cinctful. He bootlegged liquor. He ran Chicago like his own personal kingdom. He was d.a.m.n good at what he did, and he did it with style. Al Capone (aka Scarface) maintained a sw.a.n.k Chicago headquarters in the form of a luxurious five-room suite at the chic Metropole Hotel (rate: $1,500 a day). And when those Chicago winters proved a little too chilly for him, he bought a 14-room Spanish-style estate in Palm Island, Florida, which he spent millions turning into a well-decorated fortress. Capone's total wealth has been estimated at over $100 million (not a penny of which was kept in his vaults, as Geraldo Rivera learned on live TV). Not bad for a guy whose business card said he was a used furniture dealer. Of course, he didn't pay taxes on any of it, which is what eventually sent him up the river.
Friends of the Devil:
3 Figures Who Supposedly Sold Their Souls
If you really can't get a gig, and you're desperate to become a star, there's only one person who can help you out for sure. Of course, it's probably gonna cost you more than the standard 10%.
_01:: Robert Johnson at His Crossroads Considered to be one of the most influential bluesmen of all time, Robert Johnson was also one of the most turbulent. And few musicians have achieved Johnson's mythical status, whether the devil had a hand in it or not. As the story goes, one night Johnson happened upon a large black man while walking near the crossroads of Highways 61 and 49 outside of Clarksdale, Mississippi. The man offered to tune Johnson's guitar, and as the story has it, claimed Johnson's soul in return. Within a year, Johnson was in demand throughout the region. Actually, the story may have started when Johnson sat in on a gig with Sun House and Willie Brown. House and Brown were so impressed with Johnson's playing they thought the only explanation was that he'd sold his soul. Of course, mythic lives require mythic endings. Known for his womanizing, Johnson was fatally poisoned when he sipped some whiskey laced with strychninethe act of a jealous husband. Johnson died in 1938 at the age of 27.
Touch of Evil Church of Satan founder Anton LaVey claims to have been born with a vestigial tail that was surgically removed when he was an adolescent.
_02:: Led Zeppelin and Their Stairway to...?
Did they or didn't they sell their souls to Satan for the rights to the cla.s.sic ”Stairway to Heaven” hit? While the debate has continued since the song came out in the early 1970s, it basically can be traced back to the allegation that, if played backward, the song makes numerous references to Satan. Even more d.a.m.ning, tons of people have interpreted the lyrics as being demonic. And Jimmy Page's and Robert Plant's interest in the occult didn't really help matters. In the 1970s, Page proclaimed himself a wizard and actually bought a house in Scotland known as ”The Toolhouse,” reputed to be a satanic temple. Then, when he played the chords of the rock anthem to Plant, Robert immediately sat down and wrote the lyrics right on the spot. Later, in interviews, Plant stated that he didn't seem to be writing and something else was moving his pencil across the page. Three decades later the debate continues, but the question remains as to who the piper (”the piper's calling you to join him”) is. Is it the devil, Jesus, or, maybe, just a plain old piper? Guess the rock world will never know.
_03:: The Darkness Crossover It now appears that the fast rise of the British group The Darkness in the early 2000s may have had supernatural intervention. After struggling for many years playing in obscure pubs, the group's lead singer, Justin Hawkins, allegedly sold out to the devil. In 2002, Hawkins sought the a.s.sistance of Doktor Snake, a well-known British voodoo doctor. And in a scene reminiscent of Robert Johnson's rendezvous with the devil, Snake led Hawkins to a deserted country crossroads one evening at midnight and some unholy pact was consummated. Within the year, The Darkness was one of the hottest bands in the United Kingdom. Having been successful with The Darkness, Doktor Snake (who still hasn't figured out a cure for spelling his name incorrectly) now sells his dark side services over eBay.
I Want to Hold Your Handbag:
3 Evangelists Who Received
Until It Hurt
It's better to give than to receive, right? Well, that is unless you're one of the following fat wallet preachers. In a pay-to-pray world, this group of standouts would definitely make it into the evangelism hall of fameone that no doubt has gilded walls and marble floors.
_01:: The Mail Order OrderThe Reverend Ike A forerunner to the televangelist frenzy of the 1980s, Frederick Eikerenkoetter, known as the Reverend Ike, unabashedly preached capitalism for years. In the 1970s, Ike broadcast weekly sermons on approximately 1,700 television and radio stations across the United States. Famous for saying that the lack of money was the root of all evil, Ike definitely practiced what he preached. In fact, it wasn't uncommon for Ike to tell his listeners that he didn't want to hear the sound of change hitting the collection plate, he wanted the folding stuff. Known for his expensive suits and a fleet of mink-trimmed Rolls-Royces, the Rev clearly didn't live the life of a monk. And while his television career appears to have diminished, old Ike continues his very lucrative mail-order business, which is more like a chain letter scam than anything else. Here's the setup: Normally a letter is sent containing a prayer hankie, a charm, or a curse. Then the recipient is told to send it back to Ike along with a $20 or $30 donation within a day and Ike will bless it or you. Of course, the failure to do so could bring about a whole host of unwanted problems, and no one wants that. Talk about the spirit of capitalism. We're not so sure John Calvin would be proud.
Touch of Evil In 1987, Oral Roberts told viewers he needed $8 million or G.o.d would ”call him home.” He beat the deadline, thanks to a last-minute $1.3 million donation by dog track owner Jerry Collins, who admitted: ”I think he [Roberts] needs psychiatric treatment.”
_02:: The Miracle WorkerBenny Hinn A throwback to the tent preachers of the early 1900s, Benny Hinn is a man of miracles, and estimates are that Hinn's organization receives over $100 million a year in donations (a miracle in itself!). Most of these donations, of course, are in response to Hinn's so-called faith healings, and his ch.o.r.eographed services are structured to elicit as much money as possible. In addition to the healings, he's happy to scare a little cash out of wallets as well, often telling his audience that worldwide disasters are going to occur, but only those giving to G.o.d's work will be spared. In 1999, Hinn announced that G.o.d had ordered him to build a $30 million World Healing Center. However, in 2003, Hinn stated that G.o.d still wanted the center built, but told him the time wasn't right. Like the loyal servant he is, Hinn told the Big Man (and all his followers) he'd hold the cash until then. In the meantime, Hinn lives in an $8 million oceanfront home, travels by private jet, and stays in $3,000-a-night hotel suites. Apparently, for Hinn doing the Lord's work always feels good. Really, really good.
The Evil How-to TAKING IT TO THE CLEANERS.
Most people have a vague idea that money laundering is bad, but like the clueless protagonists of Office s.p.a.ce, have no idea what it is or how to do it. The most common method of laundering money is to give illegal income to a legitimate business already taking in large quant.i.ties of cash, so that it can be deposited without arousing suspicion. The term probably arose in the 1930s, when gambling rings opened up launderettes to disguise the influx of small change. Other methods in use are ingenious in their complex maneuvering around international financial reporting regulations. International terrorists, for instance, tend to use legitimate charities to funnel money into arms purchases and other nefarious doings. Of course, because of lax reporting laws and corrupt officials, some countries are better for cleaning one's cash than others. China, the Cayman Islands, the United Arab Emirates, Thailand, and Lebanon are generally among the favorites.
_03:: You Gotta Pay to PrayRobert Tilton In 1991, ABC-TV's Prime Time Live program investigated Robert Tilton's Word of Faith Outreach Center Church. At the time, Tilton's televangelist show appeared on 200 stations and he claimed his church had over 10,000 members. The truth was that his organization was also making $80 million a year through his direct marketing campaigns. The investigation found that prayer requests sent to Tilton were routinely discarded after the cash and checks had been removedclearly not what Jesus would do. The expose led to Tilton's downfall and in 1999 he sold the church and moved to Miami. However, in 1997 Tilton started buying time on independent stations, showing mostly reruns, in order to rebuild his mailing lists. Today, his mailings include financial prayer cloths, posters of Tilton, packets of oil, and other trinkets all for just the cost of a small donation. But sadly, old habits are hard to break: Reports state that employees are simply told to take out the dough and discard the prayer requests. But all in all, something seems to be working for him. Tilton owns a $450,000 yacht and property worth at least $1.5 million in Miami Beach.
Putting the Wind in Our Sales:
3 Shameful Cases of False Advertising
No matter what the adage says, sometimes you just don't get what you paid for. And that's just about the time cla.s.s action lawsuits somehow enter the picture. The following are three egregious cases where a little truth would have helped.
_01:: BodyFlex In 2003, the FTC (Federal Trade Commission) sued BodyFlex, alleging that the company had deceptively advertised that the system caused users to lose 414 inches in the first seven days. The complaint charged that the loss of 414 inches was advertised as occurring without any reduction in calories, and that users burned enough body fat to achieve the claimed fat loss. In fact, the promotion also cited a clinical study that ”proved” that the BodyFlex system caused significant fat and inch loss in the first seven days. No one knows how many people actually bought into the hype, but according to the FTC, the BodyFlex commercial was one of the 10 most-aired infomercials in weekly U.S. rankings and aired more than 2,000 times from February through September 2003 on national cable channels. Of course, the company spent almost $20 million to promote the product. In September 2004, BodyFlex conceded, and agreed to set up a $2.6 million consumer refund program. They also agreed to stop making false weight-loss claims, effectively proving that not all liars are big, fat ones.
Touch of Evil While they now do the healthy thing with Flintstone vitamins, when the Stone Age family originally appeared on television, old Fred and Barn were sponsored by (and appeared in commercials for) Winston cigarettes.
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