Volume I Part 15 (1/2)

”Plenty,” observed Mr. Linton, moodily.

”And bring good thick sticks with you,” said Kiss, ”to help the applause.”

”When is it to be played,” asked Mr. Lethbridge, laughing at the suggestion of the big sticks, ”and where?”

”Ah,” said Kiss, ”that's the rub. It is a question not yet decided.”

”There are so many managers after it, I suppose?” said Mr. Lethbridge, innocently. ”Look at it from a business point of view; accept the best offer at the best theatre.”

Kiss leant back in his chair, and laughed long and loud. He had a particularly merry laugh, and the sound was heard in the kitchen.

(”That's Mr. Kiss laughing,” said f.a.n.n.y. ”The author has said something funny.”

”I hope uncle will remember it,” added Phoebe, ”and tell us what it is.

How wonderfully an author must talk, and what wonderful minds they must have! How ever do they think of things?”)

”The fact is, Leth,” said Kiss, presently, ”we have not such a choice of managers and theatres as you imagine.”

”Why, surely,” said Mr. Lethbridge, ”they are only too ready to jump at a good play when it is offered them!”

”If I were asked,” said Kiss, ”who were the worst possible judges of a ma.n.u.script play, I should answer, theatrical managers. As regards Linton's last effort, which he has at the present moment in his coat pocket”--(Mr. Lethbridge knew from this remark what the great bulge was at Mr. Linton's breast, concerning which he had been rather puzzling himself; every now and then the dramatic author put his hand up to the pocket which contained his ma.n.u.script, to make sure that the precious doc.u.ments were safe)--”as regards that,” continued Kiss, ”there is a certain obtuseness on the part of managers which has to be overcome before the new play sees the light. They have read it, and have shaken their heads at it. Now I pit my judgment against theirs.”

”So will I,” said Mr. Lethbridge.

”And I say there's money and fame in Linton's last. By-the-way, Linton, that's not at all a bad t.i.tle for something--'Linton's Last.' Think of it.”

”At all events,” observed the despondent author, with a lame attempt at a joke, ”there would be an end of me after that.”

”Not at all, my boy; couldn't spare you. As I said, Leth, the managers, all but one, shake their heads at Linton's play, and, like a.s.ses, refuse it.”

”All but one,” said Mr. Lethbridge. ”He's a fortunate man, whoever he is.”

”He is not _quite_ blind. Now, Leth, that is the real reason of our visit to you.”

”Indeed!” said Mr. Lethbridge, in great amazement. ”I have no influence, I a.s.sure you. I wish I had; I should be only too ready and willing to use it.”

”This one manager,” pursued Kiss, ”who proves himself to possess some glimmering of common-sense, is, curiously enough, the manager of the Star Theatre, where Linton's last piece was produced.”

”And he wishes to produce the new one,” said Mr. Lethbridge. ”That is very good of him.”

”Oh, he knows what he is about, and he is awake to the fact that there is a certain fortune in the play. But, for all that, he is a downy bird--a very downy bird. He argues. Says he, 'Your last piece, Linton, was almost a crusher to me.' At which Linton's heart sinks into his shoes, and he groans, instead of meeting it lightly as he ought to do.

But that is a matter of temperament. 'I had to close my theatre,' says the manager of the Star, 'not having another piece ready, and here I am paying rent for shut doors. It has cost me so much,' mentioning a sum, which my experience tells me is the actual, multiplied by four. But that's neither here nor there. The manager of the Star goes on: 'To put the new piece on will cost so much,' again mentioning a sum multiplied by four. 'What do you propose to contribute toward it if I make the venture?' 'I give you my brains,' says Linton; 'that is all I possess.'

'In that case,' says the manager, 'I am afraid it is not to be thought of. I can't afford to stand the entire risk.' I, being present at the interview, step in here. I don't intend to apologize to Linton when I tell you, Leth, that he is not fit to manage his own business. 'You _did_ produce a play of Linton's,' I say to the manager--it was called _Boots and Shoes_, Leth; no doubt you remember it--'out of which you made a pot of money.' 'A small pot,' says the manager of the Star; 'a very small pot.' 'And,' says I, 'which you bought right out for the miserable sum of fifty pounds.' 'Well,' says the manager, 'that was the bargain, made with our eyes open. When I offered fifty pounds for _Boots and Shoes_ I did it for the purpose of doing Linton a good turn.

He was hard up at the time, and I risked the fifty on the off chance.

If I make by one piece I lose by another.' 'Let us come to the point,'

says I, 'about the new piece. You want something contributed toward the expense of getting it up. How much? Don't open your mouth too wide.'

'Two hundred pounds,' says he; 'not a penny less.' To tell you the truth, Leth, I thought he was going to ask for more. It isn't a very large sum, is it?”

”Not to some people,” replied Mr. Lethbridge, with a cheerful smile.