Part 20 (1/2)

Now he was regretting his restraint, though. He hadn't seen Deanna all day, since he'd had an early meeting and had been gone before she got up.

He saw her little enough as it was now-sometimes just an hour or two a day-and he couldn't help but begrudge anything that stole the time he might otherwise have with her.

Instead of stewing on his complaints, he tried to focus on his task. It was detail work, and his hands were big and not particularly delicate.

He looked down at the beads and suddenly felt like an idiot. What the h.e.l.l was he doing, anyway? He wasn't doing a very good job. Deanna would probably have to completely redo it. She would laugh at him for thinking this was an appropriate project for him to tackle.

But he had gotten it in his head a few weeks ago, after they'd agreed to try to be friends, and now that he'd started, he wasn't going to stop.

It was taking forever, though. He didn't know how Deanna had patience to work with these tiny beads all the time. He'd been working tonight for an hour on it, and his fingertips were almost numb and his eyes were glazing over. He pressed on, however.

It was going to take a really long time to get this done, and he only had just over a month left to go.

When he heard a car approaching the house, he put the work down and then tucked the supplies in a big drawer so Deanna wouldn't happen to see it. She was never in his room now anyway, but still...she definitely couldn't see this until he was finished.

Shaking himself off, he walked downstairs just as Deanna was coming in through the front door.

She smiled at him. ”Hey, you.”

”Hi.” His instinct was to reach out for her, since she looked so pretty and flushed and feminine and his. But he resisted the urge and instead asked, ”How was dinner?”

”It was good,” she said, dropping her purse on the floor and staring down at it. ”It was really, really good.”

He chuckled. ”Did you maybe have a couple of drinks?”

”Just a few.”

Laughing, he picked up her purse from the floor and put it on the table where she always kept it. ”Good. You should have a good time more often.”

”I did have a good time.” She was smiling at him, almost tenderly, and she reached out to grab his s.h.i.+rt and pull him closer to her. ”I missed you.” She wrapped her arms around his middle.

He returned the hug. He couldn't help it. He wanted so much to hold her, and this was one of his few opportunities. ”I missed you too,” he murmured.

”I've only been gone a few hours.”

”Well, you said you missed me.”

”I've missed you for the last few weeks.”

He sighed, a feeling of pleased understanding spreading out through his chest. ”I've missed you too,” he admitted.

She pressed her cheek against his s.h.i.+rt and squeezed her arms around him. He held her, fighting the almost irresistible impulse to tilt her head up so he could kiss her.

He could probably seduce her tonight. She'd had a little too much to drink. Her resistance was lowered. It probably wouldn't be hard to get her back into his bed, exactly where he wanted her.

But he wasn't going to take advantage of her, and that wasn't what he really wanted anyway. He wanted her heart-not just her body-and there were no shortcuts to that.

”Do you think people can change, Mitch.e.l.l?” she asked, still wrapped up in his arms.

It felt like his heart stopped beating for a minute. ”Yes,” he said slowly. ”Not always and not easily, but I think it's possible.”

”I want to change.”

”What do you want to change, baby?”

She didn't answer immediately. ”I don't always want to hold on so tightly.”

He knew exactly what she was talking about. She was referring back to their previous conversations. She'd lived her life holding on tightly to the edges of her world, to keep it all from falling apart. It kept her from taking risks, from making herself vulnerable.

It kept her from giving herself to him-even just for a moment.

Breathless now, he murmured, ”Just say the word, baby, and I'll help you let go.”

He waited, to see if she would say it, but the silence stretched on so long that he knew tonight wasn't the night.

The night might never come, but it was definitely not tonight.

”Thank you,” she mumbled, her face now pressed into his s.h.i.+rt.

He kissed the top of her head. ”Any time.”

”You're kidding!” Rose said, her voice breathless on the phone. ”I can't believe the six months are actually over, and you guys still haven't managed to get it together.”

Deanna sighed over the blackberry crumble she was preparing. ”I keep telling you that there's only a small chance of something happening. We are who we are, and we're as different as night and day.”

”Yeah, but I think that actually works for you two. And I keep telling you that nothing is going to happen unless you actually say something. He needs to know you want something more.”

Deanna's belly twisted with nerves. She'd been thinking it over for the last few weeks, and she'd almost come to a decision about it. Now that her time was up, she had no choice but to act or to give up completely. ”I know.”

Rose gasped on the other end of the call. ”Really? You're going to say something?”

”I think so. We're having dinner tonight-just a quiet dinner for our last evening of the six months-so I thought I'd say something then. I'm just trying to figure out...it's hard, you know. Not just because it's...it's not something I do but because he's been acting so standoffish lately. I'm not sure if he's even interested anymore-even for now, much less forever.”

”Of course he's interested. I thought you told him he had to back off.”

”I did. I mean, we agreed. But he seems to be getting more standoffish as the weeks go by, so I'm just not sure anymore. Anyway, I think I better say something or I'll spend the rest of my life wis.h.i.+ng I did.”

”That's for sure.”

”I'm just trying to think of a way to get him to loosen up again. He hasn't even been acting like himself lately. It's like...I don't know. I almost want him to blow up, just so he'll be himself again.”

”So do something to make him mad.”

Deanna giggled. ”You should have seen how mad he was after we pulled the curtain back to show him the Pride that first day. He was sneezing his head off and totally shocked, but he was so mad when he could finally-” She broke off, suddenly hit with a crazy, brilliant idea.

”What?” Rose asked. ”What just happened?”

”I've got an idea. Oh, I don't know if I should do it or not.”