Part 44 (1/2)

But while these thoughts assuage our grief, they can not wholly allay it We have no reason to doubt that she would have given and received happiness here upon earth, had she been spared; and we can not helpfor her, out of the very depths of our hearts The only real comfort is that God never makes mistakes; that He would not have snatched her from us, if He had not had a reason that would satisfy us if we knew it I can not tell you hat tender syonizing hts that have to be lived through, face to face with a great sorrow May God bless and keep you all

_To Mrs Condict, Dorset, July 11, 1875_

I have been sitting at reen” of the fields and woods, and wishi+ng you were here to share it all withis to write you You seee sea-side spot, to do work there, and I hope you will have health and strength for it

One of the signs of the times is the way in which the hand of Providence scatters ”city folks” all about in waste places, there to sow seed that in His own ti up and bear fruit for Hinising you It seemed almost incredible Mr Prentiss has persuadedon Sunday afternoon, as we have no service, and studying up for it this inated with Huss, whose naoose He said at the stake: ”If you burn a goose a sill rise froht--Well, Miss ----'s usefulness is at an end, but God can, and no doubt will, raise up a swan in her place About forty now attend

We have my eldest brother here and he is a perfect enthusiast about Dorset, and has enjoyed his visit ihed more that afternoon than in the previous ten years We expect Dr Stearns and his daughter on the 20th, and when they leave Mr

P intends to go to Maine and try a change of air and scene I hate to have hi out of , 1875_

I have just written a letter to my husband, froone to Maine, partly to see friends, partly to get a little sea air He wanteddown sick This summer I am encompassed with relatives; two of my brothers, a nephew, a cousin, a second cousin, and in a day or two one brother's wife and child, and two more second cousins are to come; not to our house, but to board next door There is a troop of artists swarenial, cultivated, excellent persons They are all delighted with Dorset, and it is pleasant to sturoups of the with the landscapes and taken to flowers I have just had a visit here in -birds They are attracted by the flowers One of the cousins is just now riding on the lawn Her splendid hair has come down and covers her shoulders; and with her color, always lovely, heightened by exercise and pleasure, she makes a beautiful picture What is nicer than an unsophisticated young girl? I have no ti the crowd; but one can not help thinking wherever one is, and I have come to this conclusion: happiness in its strictest sense is found only in Christ; at the same time there aredark and I can not seesuch mistakes Dr Stearns says that the Rev

Mr ---- has been laying his hands on people and saying, ”Receive the Holy Ghost” Such excesses give reat doubt and pain

_To the Same, Sept 3, 1875_

Your letter came to find me in a sorrowful and weary spot My dear M

lies here with typhoid fever, and ht of it pretty well used up, and my husband is in al every hour to see me break down It has been an awful pull for us all, for not one of us has an ato all the wear and tear we can Dr Buck has sent us an excellent English nurse; she caht and we all _dropped_ into our beds like so o down for ice three tilected, and slept in peace We are encompassed with mercies; the physician who drives over from Manchester is as skilful as he is conscientious; this house is adh, plenty of water, andin a draught as the doctor wishes her to do While the nurse is sleeping, as she is now, A and I take turns sitting out on the piazza, where there is a delicious breeze al

The ladies here are disappointed that I can no longer hold the Bible- readings, but it is not so much matter that I am put off work if you are put on it; the field is one, and the Master knohoreat delight a little book called ”Miracles of Faith” I ah fever after it It seems painfully unnatural to see my sunbeam turned into a dark cloud, and it distressesto stand it But I won't plague you with any et how often I have said, ”Thy will be done” You need not doubt that God's will looks sowould tempt us to decide our child's future

_To her eldest Son, Dorset, Sept 19, 1875_

Your letters are a great coet many is to write many M's fever ran twenty-one days, as the doctor said it would, and began to break yesterday On Friday it ran very high; her pulse was 120 and her temperature 105--bad, bad, bad She is very, very weak We have sent away Pharaoh and the kitten; Pha _would_ bark, and Kit _would_ come in and stare at her, and both rave; he even brought over his slippers lest his step should disturb her She is not yet out of danger; so you -roo aloud to A and H; it is evening, and M has had her opiate, and is getting to sleep I have notall day in a dark roo up the church beautifully withtheir aid Your father is reading about Hans Andersen; you e, No

1,631; it is ever so funny

I had such a queer dreaued us so that your father went to New York and brought back _two_ cooks I said I only wanted one ”Oh, but these are so rare,” he said; ”come out and see them” So he leddinner very solemnly, two _ostriches_! Nohat that dreao to bed, pretty tired When you are lonely and blue, think hoe all love you Goodnight, dear old fellow

_Sept 21st_--It cuts ins under such a shadow But I hope you knohere to go in both loneliness and trouble You ram before this reaches you; if you do not you had better pack your valise and have it ready for you to coives us hardly a hope that M will live; she may drop away at any moment While she does live you are better off at Princeton; but when she is gone we shall all want to be together We shall have her buried here in Dorset; otherwise I never should want to coain A said this was her day to write you, but she had no heart to do it The only thing I can do while M is asleep, is to write letters about her Good-night, dear boy

_22d_--The doctor was here froht and said she would suffer little more and sleep her life away _She_ says she is nicely and the nurse says so Your father and I have had a good cry this , which has done us no little service Dear boy, this is a bad letter for you, but I have done the best I can

_To Mrs George Payson, New York, Oct 31, 1875_

I hope you received the postal announcing our safe arrival ho to answer your last letter, but now that the awful strain is over I begin to flag, am tired and lame and sore, and any exertion is an effort But after all the dismal letters I have had to write, I want to tell you what a delightful day yesterday was to us all; G ho our ladness”; the pleasantest _fa the last week has been little short of bear of it, in perfect coe; the doctor and his ere at the station and weighed M, e found she had lost thirty-six pounds The coachman took her in his arms and carried her into the car, ho should e rushed into the car in such a state of wild excitement that he took no notice of any one but M; he then flew out and aa word snatched her up in his ar-chair, and he and another e and seated her in it; I had to run to keep up with theuarding it The Warners spent the night here and left nexttrouble A friend has put a carriage at our disposal, and M is to drive every day when and where and as long as she pleases And now I hope I shall have sos, I do not find commentaries of much use

Experience of life has been ains that every day Youletters; it is toodesperate about getting well!

At any rate, _don't_, any of you, have typhoid fever It is the veryits way like a lar

_To Mrs Condict, New York, Nov 7, 1875_

We came home on the 27th of October; M bore the journey wonderfully well, and has improved so fast that she drives all round the Park every day, Miss W having put a carriage at our disposal How delightful it is to get ue can tell, nor did I realise all I was suffering till the strain was over I ath for work, butDr Ludlow [4] was here one day last week to askChristians; but my husband told hihted to do it; reat price, and I want to use it for the strengthening and co of other souls No doubt you feel so too Whatever may be said to the contrary by others, to me life has been a battle-field, and I believe alill be; but is the soldier necessarily unhappy and disgusted because he is fighting? I trow not I a the history of the Oxford Conference; [5] there is a great deal in it to like, but what do you think of this saying of its leader? ”Did it ever strike you, dear Christian, that if the poor world could knoe are in Christ, it would worshi+p us?” [6] _I_ say _Pshaw!_ What a fallacy! _Why_ should it worshi+p us when it rejects Christ? Well, we have to take even the best people as they are

A feeeks later she ave the letter from Dr L will sho much they were interested: