Part 9 (1/2)

Sadly, as with all other facets of American life, statistics on the s.e.xual behavior of professing Christians do not vary significantly from the general populace. Research suggests that being involved in an extracurricular sport does more to lower the rate of s.e.xual activity among teenagers than does attending church. Evidence suggests that Christian abstinence programs like True Love Waits delay the average time teenagers first engage in intercourse by about eighteen months, but these programs don't generally motivate people to wait until they're married. Even more concerning, a number of studies reveal that teenagers who make abstinence pledges tend to engage in oral or a.n.a.l s.e.x more more than others who don't, and they tend to use protection than others who don't, and they tend to use protection less less when having intercourse. The undeniable fact is that young Christians have absorbed the recreational view of s.e.x about as thoroughly as non-Christians. when having intercourse. The undeniable fact is that young Christians have absorbed the recreational view of s.e.x about as thoroughly as non-Christians.

Since s.e.x has become largely severed from morality, it's hardly surprising that it's also become the culture's main tool for advertising. While advertisers have used s.e.xuality to sell products for more than a century, the pervasiveness and explicitness of s.e.x in advertising has taken a quantum leap since the s.e.xual revolution of the sixties. One only has to glance through the catalogs of youth-orientated clothing stores like Abercrombie & Fitch to confirm this fact. Today's advertising could have been marketed as soft-p.o.r.n only a few decades ago.

It's also not surprising that s.e.x has become one of our culture's main tools for entertainment. Most television shows and movies (especially those orientated toward young people) now incorporate increasingly explicit s.e.xual content, and the p.o.r.n industry has virtually exploded. When I was a kid we had to sneak around to find our dads' stash. Today the kinkiest s.e.x you can imagine is one click away.

The statistics on the use of p.o.r.n in our culture are startling. Revenues from the p.o.r.n industry topped 13 billion dollars in 2006, which is more than the revenue from professional football, basketball, and baseball combined combined. For the last several years, ”s.e.x” has been the single most common word fed into Internet search engines. Every second, 372 new people log onto p.o.r.n sites, and it's estimated that more than half of these new users are under-aged. Whereas p.o.r.n was once a.s.sumed to be a male thing, today one in three visitors to p.o.r.n sites are women.

Here too, sadly, research suggests that the habits of Christians vary little from those of the general population. For example, some recent research suggests that about half of all Christian men and 20 percent of Christian women viewed p.o.r.n in the last year. A survey of several Christian college campuses revealed that almost 70 percent of the male students had viewed p.o.r.n within the last year. And a 2000 Christianity Today Christianity Today survey revealed that about a third of all clergy had visited p.o.r.n websites within the last year. survey revealed that about a third of all clergy had visited p.o.r.n websites within the last year.

The undeniable reality is that this recreational view of s.e.x now permeates the Church as well as the broader culture. It would not be an overstatement to call it a crisis.

As in all things, disciples of Jesus are called to imitate him by submitting their s.e.xuality to the reign of G.o.d. Jesus was fully human and tempted in every way that we are, yet he did not sin. Whether we are single or married, Kingdom people are called to manifest the beauty of G.o.d's original design for s.e.xuality and revolt against the debauchery of our culture and the dehumanizing Powers that fuel it. In our s.e.x-addicted culture, this is one of our most formidable challenges.

To be motivated to live in accordance with G.o.d's design for s.e.xuality, I believe we need to do more than simply review the hundreds of prohibitions against s.e.x outside of marriage found in the Bible. This is the typical approach taken by churches, and it frankly doesn't seem to be doing much good. We need to go deeper and see why why s.e.x is such a ”big deal” to G.o.d and s.e.x is such a ”big deal” to G.o.d and why why his prohibitions are not prudish or puritanical but beautiful. his prohibitions are not prudish or puritanical but beautiful.

I don't believe most will be motivated to adhere to G.o.d's strong no to s.e.x before and outside of marriage until they can fully appreciate G.o.d's even stronger yes to the beauty of s.e.x within marriage. In what follows we'll flesh out three biblical teachings that express and explain G.o.d's strong yes to s.e.x.

THE CREATION OF ”ONE FLESH”

First, G.o.d designed s.e.xual intercourse to create a new, sacred oneness between a man and a woman that is intended to never be broken.

At one point in his ministry the Pharisees tried to lure Jesus into a controversial debate over what const.i.tuted a permissible divorce. Moses allowed for a man to divorce his wife if he found ”something indecent about her.” The question was, what did ”indecent” in this pa.s.sage refer to? One school of thought held that virtually anything a man found displeasing in his wife could be considered ”indecent.” Another school taught that only something s.e.xual in nature could be considered ”indecent.”

As always, Jesus refused to get entangled in this controversial quagmire. He rather appealed to G.o.d's ideal expressed in Genesis 2. He said, Haven't you read...that at the beginning the Creator ”made them male and female,” and said, ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what G.o.d has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:4 6) Haven't you read...that at the beginning the Creator ”made them male and female,” and said, ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what G.o.d has joined together, let no one separate. (Matthew 19:4 6) Jesus then went on to remind the Pharisees that the only reason G.o.d permitted divorce was because of the hardness of peoples' hearts. Jesus was thus pointing out that all all divorce involves sin, for it dissolves something G.o.d himself joined together. It destroys the ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p G.o.d intended for a husband and wife-a union that was supposed to last as long as their flesh survived. divorce involves sin, for it dissolves something G.o.d himself joined together. It destroys the ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p G.o.d intended for a husband and wife-a union that was supposed to last as long as their flesh survived.

Jesus' wasn't revoking the Old Testament's permission to divorce in saying this-as though people's hearts were less hard in his day than they were in Moses' day. His point was rather to expose the self-justifying motive of the questioners. Given that a new ”one flesh” reality is created by G.o.d when a man and woman come together, no one can feel righteous about divorcing their wife, regardless regardless of why they do so. of why they do so. 1 1 According to Jesus, when a man and woman come together in s.e.xual intercourse, something profound, mysterious, and spiritual is going on. G.o.d makes the two two into a new into a new one one. Paul says this mysterious oneness is created whenever whenever a man and woman come together, regardless of how recreational their liaison might be. a man and woman come together, regardless of how recreational their liaison might be.

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prost.i.tute is one with her in body? For it is said, ”The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:16 17) Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prost.i.tute is one with her in body? For it is said, ”The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:16 17) Even s.e.x with a prost.i.tute creates a ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p that is supposed to never be broken! Clearly, from G.o.d's perspective s.e.x is never merely recreational.

THE ”ONE FLESH” RE-UNION To fully grasp the depth of this ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p, we should pay attention to the context of the Genesis 2 pa.s.sage that Jesus and Paul refer to. G.o.d had just created Eve out of Adam's side to find him a fitting helper. There's a long chauvinistic tradition of a.s.suming ”helper” (ezer) implies that Eve was created as Adam's subordinate, but the term actually has no such connotation. For example, Psalm 121 refers to Yahweh as our helper (ezer) (vv. 1 2), and I seriously doubt anyone would want to argue that Yahweh is our subordinate. The term rather has the connotation of one who brings strength.

In any event, in creating Eve, G.o.d made two persons out of one. This is why when Adam sees Eve he exclaims, ”This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

Then, most significantly, the pa.s.sage immediately adds, ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” The reason reason why a man and woman are to leave their homes and family and form a new social and spiritual reality is that their s.e.xual complementarity is reflective of, and grounded in, an even more primordial oneness. It's appropriate for a man and woman to become one because they originally why a man and woman are to leave their homes and family and form a new social and spiritual reality is that their s.e.xual complementarity is reflective of, and grounded in, an even more primordial oneness. It's appropriate for a man and woman to become one because they originally were were one. one.

As G.o.d made two out of one, so now through s.e.xual intercourse he makes one out of two. The new union is, in this sense, a re re-union, and G.o.d is as much involved in creating the latter as he was in creating the former.

I believe this is why Paul tells husbands and wives they should no longer consider their bodies to be their own but should willingly surrender them to their spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1 5). When husbands and wives continue to consider their bodies to be their own possessions, they're simply not thinking accurately. The couple really is is a re-united body and they should think and act accordingly. a re-united body and they should think and act accordingly.

The sanct.i.ty and beauty of the ”one flesh” reality G.o.d creates is honored and protected when it's reserved for people who have pledged themselves to each other for life. But it's desecrated and destroyed when people engage in s.e.xual intercourse outside of this sacred context.

THE SIGN OF THE HEAVENLY MARRIAGE.

Second, G.o.d designed s.e.xual intercourse to be a sacred sign of Christ's relations.h.i.+p with his bride, the Church.

In the course of giving instructions to husbands and wives in Ephesians 5, the apostle Paul reminds them that all followers of Jesus are to submit to one another, regardless of social standing, gender, or ethnicity. So a husband and wife must submit to one another (v. 22). Whereas marriages under the curse tend to be characterized by power games in which each party tries to rule and control the other (Genesis 3:6), Kingdom marriages are to be characterized by doing the opposite. A marriage reflects the Kingdom insofar as husbands and wives are Christian-Christlike-to one another.

Paul then appeals to the a.n.a.logy of Christ and the Church as he specifies what mutual submission in marriage looks like in a first-century context. In Jewish culture at that time, husbands held all the power. They were the ”head” of the family. So Paul tells husbands how they are to use this culturally given power. They're not to mimic the pattern of marriage under the curse and force their will on their wives. Instead, they're to use their heads.h.i.+p to sacrificially serve their wives, imitating the pattern of Jesus Christ. ”Husbands,” he says, ”love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (v. 25).

The wife is then to respond to the husband the way the Church responds to Christ. As the husband sacrificially serves her, she is to reciprocate by sacrificially serving him.

Paul then goes on to tell husbands they must love and care for their wives just as they love and care for their own bodies. And they are to do this ”just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body.” Paul concludes his teaching by quoting Genesis 2:24: ”For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” And then, most remarkably, he adds, ”This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church” (vv. 28 32).

What this teaching reveals is that the ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p G.o.d intends for a husband and wife is a sign of Christ's relations.h.i.+p to the Church. Christ has something like a ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p with his Church, which is his bride and therefore his body. Just as we become ”one in body” with anyone we have intercourse with, so too we become ”members of Christ” and are ”one with him in spirit” when we submit to his reign in our life (1 Corinthians 6:16 17). The profound intimacy and shared ecstasy of s.e.xual intercourse is a sign of the profound intimacy and shared ecstasy of the relations.h.i.+p G.o.d the Father intends for his Son, Jesus Christ, to have with his bride, the Church.

Yet it is vital to understand that the ”one flesh” type of relations.h.i.+p Christ has with his bride isn't cheap. To the contrary, it's magnificently beautiful precisely because it cost Christ everything to initiate and costs us, who are his bride, everything to reciprocate. Christ lays down everything for his beloved, and we who are the beloved are to respond by laying down everything for Christ.

In the same way, the ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+p G.o.d creates between two people only functions as a sign of Christ's relations.h.i.+p to the Church when it is costly. It's intended only for couples who are willing to make the ultimate sacrifice of pledging their entire lives to one another. When people enter into ”one flesh” relations.h.i.+ps without making this sacrifice, they cheapen the ”one flesh” reality they've entered into and thereby violate its meaning as a sign of Christ's relations.h.i.+p with the Church.

THE SIGN OF THE MARRIAGE COVENANT.

Third, s.e.xual intercourse is the sacred sign and seal of the marriage covenant.

In the Bible, covenants were the means by which relations.h.i.+ps were defined, expressed, sealed, and protected. They specified what integrity and love looked like in a given relations.h.i.+p. Knowing that everything humans are created to enjoy and accomplish depends on the integrity of our relations.h.i.+ps, G.o.d takes covenants very seriously throughout the Bible. In fact, the reason animals were usually sacrificed when covenants were entered into in the Bible was to proclaim that covenant breaking leads to death.

Covenants were always sealed with a sign. The sign was some thing that symbolized the significance of the covenant and served as a visible reminder of the covenant. For example, when G.o.d made a new covenant with humanity after the flood, he sealed it with the sign of a rainbow symbolizing his promise to never again flood the earth. So too, when G.o.d entered into a covenant with Abraham and his descendents, he gave them the sign of circ.u.mcision. It symbolized that these people were set apart for G.o.d and that if anyone broke covenant with G.o.d they'd be cut off from the people (Genesis 17:14).

It's important to understand that the sign of a covenant was considered to be part part of that covenant. To violate the sign was to violate the covenant. If a man wasn't circ.u.mcised, for example, he wasn't included in G.o.d's covenant with his people. of that covenant. To violate the sign was to violate the covenant. If a man wasn't circ.u.mcised, for example, he wasn't included in G.o.d's covenant with his people.

This is the role that s.e.xual intercourse plays in a marriage covenant. It seals the covenantal vows of a couple and serves as an ongoing reminder of the ”one flesh” reality they've entered into. This is why in ancient Jewish culture a couple wasn't considered married until after they'd had s.e.xual relations. In ancient Jewish culture, as well as in many other ancient cultures, blood on the bed sheets was in some circ.u.mstances used as proof that the marriage had been sealed and proof that the bride was a virgin. 2 2 In this light, whenever two people engage in s.e.x, they are actually sealing a marriage covenant, even if that is not their intention. As we saw above, even when a man has s.e.x with a prost.i.tute, he becomes ”one with her in body” and the ”one flesh” marriage principle applies to them. This explains why if a man forced a virgin to have s.e.x with him in ancient Israel, he had had to marry her and could never divorce her (Deuteronomy 22:28 29). Since he already sealed the marriage covenant, the reasoning went, he had an obligation to live up to it. to marry her and could never divorce her (Deuteronomy 22:28 29). Since he already sealed the marriage covenant, the reasoning went, he had an obligation to live up to it.

While many today regard s.e.x as a form of recreation, it's clear that in G.o.d's eyes it is anything but this. It's sobering to consider how many ”one flesh” unions are being inadvertently sealed and then flippantly destroyed in our promiscuous culture and in the Church today.

HONORING THE DIAMOND.

Something is precious when it is not common. It costs a great deal to purchase a diamond but costs nothing to acquire an ordinary stone, because diamonds are rare while ordinary stones are not. s.e.x is intended by G.o.d to be a precious and beautiful diamond precisely because it's not intended for common use. s.e.xual intercourse is the only place where G.o.d creates the ”one flesh” reality that reflects his beautiful and costly relations.h.i.+p with humans in Christ. It is to be shared only by those who have paid the ultimate price of pledging their whole lives to one another.

What G.o.d knows-and what we desperately need to understand-is that our own well-being and the well-being of society depends on our treating this diamond like the rare and precious stone that it is. When we treat this diamond like a common stone-as our contemporary recreational view of s.e.x encourages us to do-we are desecrating the ”one flesh” reality it creates, disdaining its role as a sign of Christ's relations.h.i.+p with the Church, and violating its role as a sign and sealing of the marriage covenant. We are making a mockery of a beautiful, foundational aspect of G.o.d's plan for humans on earth. And we are, consequently, bringing destruction upon ourselves and society.

This is why G.o.d is so insistent throughout Scripture that s.e.xual intercourse be reserved for marriage. G.o.d's not being prudish or puritanical in forbidding s.e.x outside of marriage. He's simply trying to protect something profoundly beautiful and important. Our job as Kingdom people is to agree with him in his a.s.sessment of s.e.x and partner with him in protecting this diamond.

In the promiscuous culture of the West, therefore, a central part of the revolution Christ has enlisted us in involves manifesting the beauty of G.o.d's original design for s.e.xuality while revolting against the abuse of s.e.x and the Powers that fuel it.

Viva la revolution!

CHAPTER 14.

THE REVOLT REVOLT.

AGAINST SECULARISM SECULARISM.

G.o.d is dead. G.o.d remains dead. And we have killed him.

How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves?

NIETZSCHE.