Part 21 (2/2)
”Believe what?”
In response, he grabs me and kisses me. For a moment I melt into the kiss, but then I break away and pull back.
”That's not an answer,” I say. ”What's going on? What did the lawyer say?”
”It's a long story-and a complicated one-but ultimately good, I think.”
Relief floods through me. I was afraid he'd return to me more frustrated and confused than ever. But I can see, even by the way he's looking at me now, that something's changed. Maybe he hasn't resolved all of his feelings, but he's found some closure, however small.
”I want to hear everything,” I tell him.
His eyes flash and he smiles. ”It's going to blow your mind. Actually, we should probably be sitting down for this.” He takes my hands and leads me over to the couch.
”I actually need to run to the bathroom first,” he says. ”But I've brought us some scotch to celebrate. Why don't you pour us a couple of gla.s.ses?”
I have no idea what we're supposed to be celebrating, but I agree anyway. Ward slips off to the bathroom and I grab a couple of gla.s.ses from where they sit on the buffet cabinet. It's not until I'm pouring the second gla.s.s that I remember I probably shouldn't be drinking.
It's also the moment I remember what I left in the bathroom.
I spin around, but Ward is already next to me.
”Is this yours?” he asks, although I'm pretty sure he already knows the answer to that. He's holding the end of the test between his thumb and forefingers.
”It's mine,” I say.
He stares at me. Into me. And I can't read his face, not even a little bit. Is he angry? Upset? Annoyed?
I don't even know what the test says.
”What...” I begin, but my throat closes off. I force myself to take a deep breath and start again. ”What does it say?”
”Two lines,” he says without looking down at the test.
Two lines. That means...
”Pregnant,” I say, and the word is no more than a breath.
”Pregnant,” he repeats, his face still blank. ”You're pregnant.”
”We're pregnant.”
There's a spark of something in his eyes. ”We're pregnant.”
And then he pulls me into his arms again. I let him back me toward the sofa and help me sink down onto the cus.h.i.+ons. He sits next to me.
”This isn't a joke?” he says.
”If this was a joke, it'd be the worst joke in the history of mankind.” I search his face. ”You're not upset? Because you were so worried about not using a condom and-”
”I'm not going to lie, it's not what I expected to hear when I got back.” He pushes my hair back over my shoulder. ”It's... big news. Life-changing news.” He threads his fingers through my curls. ”How are you doing? Do you need anything?”
”I'm fine. Great, actually. But I've had a little time to let the idea sink in.”
His brow furrows. ”A while? How long have you suspected?”
”A few days, that's all. My period was late.”
”Why didn't you tell me then?”
I take his hand in mine. ”Because that was the day we found out that Carolson was dead.”
He just stares at me.
”So yesterday, when you were in jail-”
”I didn't know for sure,” I tell him. ”I just knew that my period was late. And I didn't want to say anything until I was absolutely certain. There was a lot going on already.”
”You were afraid I couldn't deal with it,” he says. ”You were afraid I wouldn't react well to the news.”
”That's not-”
”It's my own fault. I made it sound like I thought this was the worst thing that could happen to us. I was so caught up in this s.h.i.+t about my father-”
”You're not your father. I know that. I've known that all along.” I make sure he's looking me in the eyes before I go on. ”I know you'd never abandon this child. But I need you to know that I never, ever want you to feel tied to me or-”
”Tied to you? Lou, I've been tied to you since the first time I saw you. Since the first time you grabbed me and kissed me.” He slides his thumb across my cheek. ”Baby or not. I'm yours. I belong to you and you belong to me.”
My heart is fluttering so quickly that I'm afraid I might collapse.
”And though it absolutely terrifies me,” he continues, ”the thought of having a baby with you is... I can't even describe it. Knowing that a part of me is inside of you right now... It's...” His hand moves across my belly, and he presses his palm gently against me.
I laugh and sob at the same time. He kisses me again, and I melt into him.
This is it, I realize. This is what it feels like to be absolutely, perfectly, completely happy.
But even in my ecstasy, I remember what he said earlier. I pull back from him.
”You told me you have a story,” I say.
He gives a laugh and steps back. ”Jesus, I almost forgot. I don't even know where to begin now.”
”We have time for all of it,” I tell him as I wipe a tear off of my cheek. ”You better not leave anything out.”
”And you better sit down.”
I bat at him. ”I'm pregnant, not sick. I can still stand.”
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