Part 7 (2/2)
”Not if you are wise.”
”Why not? It is all in secrecy.”
”No it is not; you will be required as a penance to go and tell the king all that we have done; you may do so, and I will manage to represent matters so as to throw the whole blame on you; you will be sent home in disgrace.”
Poor Elfric hung down his head; the thought of his disgrace reaching home had not occurred to him.
”Come,” said Edwy, ”I don't want to be hard upon you. Cheer up, my man.
What have you done amiss? Only enjoyed yourself as nature has guided you. Why should you think G.o.d meant us to pa.s.s through life like those miserable shavelings Edred delights to honour? Cheer up, Elfric; your bright face was never meant for that of a hypocrite. If you are so dreadfully bad, you are in a pretty numerous company; and I don't think the shavelings believe their own tales about fire and torment hereafter.
They are merry enough, considering.”
In short, poor Elfric's short-lived penitence was given to the winds.
Edwy went alone to be shriven on the morrow.
On Easter Day they both received the Holy Communion in the royal chapel.
From that time remorse ceased to visit the heir of Aescendune, as if he had at last quenched the Spirit, and he became so utterly wild and reckless, that at last Dunstan thought it necessary to speak to him privately on the subject. It was nearly six months after Easter.
The boy entered the study set apart for the use of the great monk and statesman with a palpitating heart, but he managed to repress its beatings, and put on a perfectly unconcerned expression of countenance.
He had gained in self control if in nothing else.
”I wished to speak with you, Elfric,” said the abbot, ”upon a very serious matter. When you first came here, I was delighted to have you as a companion to the prince. You were evidently well brought up, and bore an excellent character; but, I grieve to say, you have greatly changed for the worse. Are you not aware of it?”
”No, father. What have I done?”
Dunstan sighed at the tone of the reply, and continued--”It is not any particular action of which I wish to accuse you, but of the general tenor of your conduct. I do not speak harshly, my boy; but if truth be told, you are as idle as you were once diligent, as sullen and reserved as once candid and open: and, my son, your face tells a tale of even worse things, and, but that I am puzzled to know where you could obtain the means of self indulgence, I should attribute more serious vices to you.”
”Who has accused me, father?”
”Yourself--that is, your own face and manner. Did you ever contemplate yourself in a mirror when at home? There is a steel one against that wall, go and look at yourself now.”
Elfric blushed deeply.
”My face is still the same,” he said.
”It is the same, and yet not the same. Innocence once took her place at its portals, and had sealed it as her own; the expression is all changed; my boy, I am absolutely certain that all is not well with you.
For your own sake, delay no longer to avoid the danger of losing your salvation, for the habits you form now will perhaps cling to you through life. Turn now to your own self; confess your sin, and be at peace.”
”I came to confession at Shrovetide; I am not required to come now, am I?”
”Required? No, my boy, it is your own sense of guilt, alone, which should draw you. The Church, since there has been no public scandal, leaves you to your own judgment at such a time as this. Have you never felt such remorse of conscience as would tell you your duty?”
”Never.”
He thought of Good Friday, and blushed.
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