Part 10 (1/2)
And so, yes, I found myself in the van, riding toward the Taywood house, wondering how I ended up in these situations. Well, half the time it was entirely my idea, but I wondered how I ended up in these situations when Roger was the instigator.
It took about thirty minutes to get there, during which Becky told her mother the Taywood story eight different times, each less accurate than the last, until finally it involved aliens, Frankenstein's monster, and Darth Vader. Though I have to admit the part with Darth Vader was pretty cool.
From the outside, it appeared to be a perfectly normal abandoned house. The homes on each side were also for sale, and had been for quite some time from the looks of the lawns. The Taywood place was a green, two-story wooden house with a large front porch and single-car garage.
”This is really dumb,” I said as Becky's mother pulled the van into the driveway. ”It's also trespa.s.sing. We shouldn't be teaching our children to trespa.s.s. Kyle, I never want to see you trespa.s.s, okay?”
”Okay.”
”It's not trespa.s.sing,” said Becky's mom. ”n.o.body owns it anymore. And you're both adults. And it's Halloween.”
I'm pretty sure that none of those excuses would have carried any weight with my wife (and I didn't think any of them were true except it being Halloween). But, despite my parental advice, I've always really sucked at resisting peer pressure, from tugging on the Rottweiler's tail at age four to eating the Mystery Solid last month.
”Can I come?” asked Theresa.
”No,” I said.
”Can I come?” asked Becky.
”No,” her mother said.
”Can I come?” asked Kyle.
”No,” I said.
”Why?” asked Kyle.
”Because,” I said.
”Don't worry about us,” said Becky's mom (I really should have known her real name, but I wasn't about to admit my ignorance). ”We'll just play some games and have fun. Tell the ghost I said hi!”
Roger and I got out of the van with our flashlights and walked toward the house. ”You're a jerk,” I informed him.
”Oh, now, you're just jealous because I came up with the idea first. Remember in high school when we went looking for Bigfoot? That was fun, wasn't it?”
”It wasn't Bigfoot; it was the Loch Ness Monster. And you thought it was swimming around in the sewers, so no, I don't recall it being all that much fun. You certainly were dumb as a kid, weren't you?”
”Okay, well, I have an important question.”
”What?”
”Where exactly would you wear the gummi worms? I mean, if you were running around City Hall naked you'd be way too nervous to maintain an-”
”Shut up, Roger.”
We stepped up onto the front porch. I knocked on the door.
”You think the ghost is going to answer?” Roger asked.
”We don't know that n.o.body lives here. There could be drug dealers inside. Do you really want to walk in on some drug dealers? Drug dealers have guns, you know.”
”You're right,” said Roger. ”Good thinking on the drug dealer situation.”
No drug dealers or ghosts answered, so I tested the doork.n.o.b. Unlocked. That wasn't particularly surprising...we certainly weren't the first people to think of exploring the Taywood house, though we were probably the only ones who'd fully completed p.u.b.erty.
I pushed the door open, and it let out the traditional horror movie creak. I flipped the light switch by the doorway, just in case the electric company continued to supply power out of a sense of generosity, but nothing happened. Roger and I turned on our flashlights and stepped inside.
The house was mostly barren, save for one torn couch and about eighty pounds of dust in the living room alone. The walls were also covered with graffiti that was remarkably clever despite artistic and grammar limitations.
I have to admit, though, something about the house didn't feel right. It didn't feel abandoned. I didn't believe in ghosts, but I definitely got the sense that there was some kind of presence in the house. Of course, it was probably the presence of rats.
”Well, I've explored about all I can handle for one evening,” I said. ”How about we head back to the van?”
Roger grinned. ”Are you scared?”
”I'm scared of what Helen's gonna do to me when she finds out I dragged the kids out here, yeah!”
”The kids are safe in the van with Mrs. Glencrest. You're being a perfectly responsible, mature parent. Don't worry about it.”
I almost asked how he remembered her name, but I was pretty sure the answer would only reveal my inadequate social skills. I s.h.i.+ned my flashlight around the room. ”Well, Rog, I'm seeing a lot of dust and not much else. How much more exploring do you want to do?”
”We've at least got to go upstairs. That's where the ghost of Jarvis was sighted.”
”There is no ghost. And it's Jervis.”
”No, it's not. Jarvis Taywood.”
”No, sorry, but I'm afraid it's...oh, no, wait, you're right. My bad.”
”C'mon, Andrew, you've got to admit you're having fun. We don't get out like this very often anymore. You don't want your children to think their father is a total wuss, do you?”
”Oh no, I'd much rather have them think their father is a total idiot.”
We wandered into the kitchen, which still had a refrigerator and oven but no other furnis.h.i.+ngs. Roger opened the pantry door, revealing lots more dust, some cobwebs, and a few cans of various fruits and vegetables resting on the shelves.
”Canned goods from beyond the grave,” Roger pointed out.
”Spooky. Let's go upstairs and get this over with.”
As we walked upstairs, I had to admit to myself that exploring a dark, reportedly haunted house really was kind of fun...not that I was going to admit it to anybody else. The stairs didn't creak as we walked up them, which kind of hampered the mood, but the upstairs was plenty dust-covered and eerie.
We walked into the master bedroom, which had a bed frame but no mattress. ”This is where they saw him,” Roger said. ”Do you feel anything...watching you?”
I shook my head. ”But I feel cold...oh, so cold...ever so cold...hold me, Roger...share your manly warmth...”
”Ha ha,” said Roger. Then he raised his voice. ”Jarvis Taywood, if you're here, show yourself! Reveal your spectral presence to us mere mortals! Let us gaze upon your ectoplasm from the other side!”
Nothing happened.
Roger frowned. ”Well, he's just being a snot.”