Part 36 (1/2)
”Indeed, my lord, your lords.h.i.+p is very good, and the times, indeed, are very bad,--very bad indeed. Is there enough gravy? Perhaps your lords.h.i.+p will try the pickled onions?”
”The what? Onions!--oh! ah! nothing can be better; but I never touch them. So, are the roads good?”
”Your lords.h.i.+p has, I hope, found them good to Salisbury?”
”Ah! I believe so. Oh! to be sure, excellent to Salisbury. But how are they to London? We have had wet weather lately, I think!”
”No, my lord. Here the weather has been dry as a bone.”
”Or a cutlet!” muttered Mauleverer; and the host continued,--
”As for the roads themselves, my lord, so far as the roads are concerned, they are pretty good, my lord; but I can't say as how there is not something about them that might be mended.”
”By no means improbable! You mean the inns and the turnpikes?” rejoined Mauleverer.
”Your lords.h.i.+p is pleased to be facetious; no! I meant something worse than them.”
”What! the cooks?”
”No, my lord, the highwaymen!”
”The highwaymen! indeed?” said Mauleverer, anxiously; for he had with him a case of diamonds, which at that time were on grand occasions often the ornaments of a gentleman's dress, in the shape of b.u.t.tons, buckles, etc. He had also a tolerably large sum of ready money about him,--a blessing he had lately begun to find very rare. ”By the way, the rascals robbed me before on this very road. My pistols shall be loaded this time. Mr. Cheerly, you had better order the horses; one may as well escape the nightfall.”
”Certainly, my lord, certainly.--Jem, the horses immediately!--Your lords.h.i.+p will have another cutlet?”
”Not a morsel!”
”A tart?”
”A dev--! not for the world!”
”Bring the cheese, John!”
”Much obliged to you, Mr. Cheerly, but I have dined; and if I have not done justice to your good cheer, thank yourself and the highwaymen.
Where do these highwaymen attack one?”
”Why, my lord, the neighbourhood of Reading is, I believe, the worst part; but they are very troublesome all the way to Salthill.”
”d.a.m.nation! the very neighbourhood in which the knaves robbed me before!
You may well call them troublesome! Why the deuce don't the police clear the country of such a movable species of trouble?”
”Indeed, my lord, I don't know; but they say as how Captain Lovett, the famous robber, be one of the set; and n.o.body can catch him, I fear!”
”Because, I suppose, the dog has the sense to bribe as well as bully.
What is the general number of these ruffians?”
”Why, my lord, sometimes one, sometimes two, but seldom more than three.”
Mauleverer drew himself up. ”My dear diamonds and my pretty purse!”