Part 22 (1/2)
”What is it?”
”A pretty wife!”
”My lord!” exclaimed Brandon, abruptly, and half rising from his seat.
Mauleverer looked up hastily, and on seeing the expression of his companion's face coloured deeply; there was a silence for some moments.
”Tell me,” said Brandon, indifferently, helping himself to vegetables, for he seldom touched meat; and a more amusing contrast can scarcely be conceived than that between the earnest epicurism of Mauleverer and the careless contempt of the sublime art manifested by his guest,--”tell me, you who necessarily know everything, whether the government really is settled,--whether you are to have the garter, and I (mark the difference!) the judges.h.i.+p.”
”Why so, I imagine, it will be arranged; namely, if you will consent to hang up the rogues instead of living by the fools!”
”One may unite both!” returned Brandon. ”But I believe, in general, it is vice versa; for we live by the rogues, and it is only the fools we are able to hang up. You ask me if I will take the judges.h.i.+p. I would not--no, I would rather cut my hand off,” and the lawyer spoke with great bitterness, ”forsake my present career, despite all the obstacles that now enc.u.mber it, did I think that this miserable body would suffer me for two years longer to pursue it.”
”You shock me!” said Mauleverer, a little affected, but nevertheless applying the cayenne to his cuc.u.mber with his usual unerring nicety of tact,--”you shock me; but you are considerably better than you were.”
”It is not,” continued Brandon, who was rather speaking to himself than to his friend,--”it is not that I am unable to conquer the pain and to master the recreant nerves; but I feel myself growing weaker and weaker beneath the continual exertion of my remaining powers, and I shall die before I have gained half my objects, if I do not leave the labours which are literally tearing me to pieces.”
”But,” said Lord Mauleverer, who was the idlest of men, ”the judges.h.i.+p is not an easy sinecure.”
”No; but there is less demand on the mind in that station than in my present one;” and Brandon paused before he continued. ”Candidly, Mauleverer, you do not think they will deceive me,--you do not think they mean to leave me to this political death without writing 'Resurgam'
over the hatchment?”
”They dare not!” said Mauleverer, quaffing his fourth gla.s.s of madeira.
”Well, I have decided on my change of life,” said the lawyer, with a slight sigh.
”So have I on my change of opinion,” chimed in the earl. ”I will tell you what opinions seem to me like.”
”What?” said Brandon, abstractedly.
”Trees!” answered Mauleverer, quaintly. ”If they can be made serviceable by standing, don't part with a stick; but when they are of that growth that sells well, or whenever they shut out a fine prospect, cut them down, and pack them off by all manner of means!--And now for the second course.”
”I wonder,” said the earl, when our political worthies were again alone, ”whether there ever existed a minister who cared three straws for the people; many care for their party, but as for the country--”
”It is all fiddlestick!” added the lawyer, with more significance than grace.
”Right; it is all fiddlestick, as you tersely express it. King, Const.i.tution, and Church, forever! which, being interpreted, means, first, King or Crown influence, judges.h.i.+ps, and garters; secondly, Const.i.tution, or fees to the lawyer, places to the statesman, laws for the rich, and Game Laws for the poor; thirdly, Church, or livings for our younger sons, and starvings for their curates!”
”Ha, ha!” said Brandon, laughing sardonically; ”we know human nature!”
”And how it may be gulled!” quoth the courtier. ”Here's a health to your niece; and may it not be long before you hail her as your friend's bride!”
”Bride, et cetera,” said Brandon, with a sneer meant only for his own satisfaction. ”But mark me, my dear lord, do not be too sure of her.
She is a singular girl, and of more independence than the generality of women. She will not think of your rank and station in estimating you; she will think only of their owner; and pardon me if I suggest to you, who know the s.e.x so well, one plan that it may not be unadvisable for you to pursue. Don't let her fancy you entirely hers; rouse her jealousy, pique her pride, let her think you unconquerable, and unless she is unlike all women, she will want to conquer you.”
The earl smiled. ”I must take my chance!” said he, with a confident tone.
”The h.o.a.ry c.o.xcomb!” muttered Brandon, between his teeth; ”now will his folly spoil all.”
”And that reminds me,” continued Mauleverer, ”that time wanes, and dinner is not over; let us not hurry, but let us be silent, to enjoy the more. These truffles in champagne,--do taste them; they would raise the dead.”