Part 11 (1/2)

It was a pretty stupid one! I mean, I get you not trusting that guy since he was definitely calling my cousin this weekend to try and get in her pants. My whole body froze up. I knew I didnt trust that guy! Why did I break up with her just so some other guy could play games with her? Id meant to save her pain, not make her prey for someone else. I guess it could be different with them. Its obvious she likes him. It was obvious she liked him? I didnt see that. Or maybe I just didnt want to see it. She was supposed to like me, not that jerk.

Oblivious to my mixed-up thoughts, Crystal kept talking, None of that really matters though. Do you not know girls at all?

With that one little question, a light bulb went off in my head. I did know girls. When it came to the opposite s.e.x, I knew how to get what I wanted. I was The Hook-up Doctor, right? And yeah, I know Id just broken up with her, but I did it for her own good and Mattie wouldnt play by those rules. Hed hurt her, so really, if I put a plan in action to get her back, Id be doing it for her own good. But then, what about the rest of it? Id gotten more proof love didnt work since Moms ex-putz broke up with her, but really this was more about saving Aspen than my love for her. Okay, so I was probably a little delusional with that one, because the pain in my chest when I saw her with him devastated me, but saving her from Mattie playing her was worth it.

Plus, I hated losing. I couldnt stand the thought of him with her not just because I loved her, but because I hated him. Did that make me a jerk? Probably, but there wasnt much I could do about that. This was it. I was doing this for Aspens own good. Hey. I need you to be my girlfriend.

What?! Crystal jerked her car to the side of the road.

Well, not really, but I want you to pretend to be with me. I need your help to win Aspen back.

Crystal looked skeptical, shaking her head. Not so sure thats the right way to go about this, Sebastian.

I laughed. If anyone knew how to get the girl, it was me. I wasnt going to let Matt do to her what I was trying to save her from. Trust me. I know what Im doing.

My hands were shaking. Shaking. Like Id never gone out with a girl before. Of course I wasnt really going out with this one, but it would look like it after tonight. It felt wrong, a heavy weight embedded itself in the pit of my stomach and I couldnt get rid of it no matter what I did. I didnt understand it. This should be a piece of cake. All I had to do was pretend I was over her. Play the whole nonchalance game Id told so many girls to play in the past. Make it look like Id moved on, so she would want me more. Hopefully, in the meantime, I could get something on Mattie, some kind of proof that he was an a.s.shole before he had the chance to prove it by hurting Aspen. I doubted she would believe me if I told her Crystal said he tried to land her cousin.

Then I could swoop in and get the girl. I had no idea what Id do with her once I had her, because I still didnt trust the whole love thing.

It was all so easy. It should be easy, but instead it feltwrong. Not the whole getting Mattie out of the picture thing or even the getting the girl thing, because I did still love her. I think if anything, seeing her with him made me realize I loved her even more than I thought I had, but something felt off and I couldnt put my finger on what it was.

This had been the only time I liked the gossip of a small town. I heard through the grapevine that Pris and Aspen were going to be at the arcade tonight. All it took was one phone call to Jaden and he was game to go out. Crystal took a little more persuasion, but in the end, she agreed. I stood out front of my house waiting for her in a pair of blue jeans, black t-s.h.i.+rt and a blue b.u.t.ton up s.h.i.+rt over it, left open.

I mumbled a hi to her when I got in the car, my stomach feeling like I imagined Aspens did the night she spewed all over my ex-lucky s.h.i.+rt. Aside from the directions I gave her, we were quiet the whole way there.

Are you sure you want to do this? she asked after we parked. If you are serious about her, you should just talk to her. I cant tell you how much I wish Will would tell me he loved me.

Yeah, I said quickly. This will work. It has to work. She shook her head as she opened the car door, but I stopped her. Youre pretty cool for helping me out, Crystal. I appreciate it and if it counts for anything, I think Will is a dumba.s.s.

I let go of her and we both got out of the car. It would look more real if I held her hand, but I couldnt bring myself to do it. In the mall it had been an automatic reaction. I hadnt really thought about it and now that I could--it might be weird--but it made me feel like I was cheating or something. I browsed the room with my eyes, not seeing Pris and Aspen, or Jaden who was supposed to meet me here. He was always late. We sat down next to each other in a booth.

Did you tell your friend whats going on with me? Crystal asked.

I shook my head. Nah. I havent even told him about Aspen yet. Its not a big deal. I can explain it to him when he gets here.

We sat there for a few more minutes, neither of us saying a word. My eyes were still searching out Aspen, my attention drawn to Crystal when she excused herself to go to the bathroom. As soon as she was gone, someone plopped down across from me. I expected it to be Jaden, but it was Paul, this other guy we went to school with. Whos the hottie? he asked.

Hottie? Huh?

Um, the girl youre sitting here with? Shes freaking gorgeous.

Its funny because I didnt even notice. I mean, I knew she was pretty, but I was so distracted tonight, thinking about Aspen and wondering if Mattie would be with her, that I didnt notice anything else. I felt a little stab of guilt. Im sure she didnt care if I noticed her that way. She still had feelings for her ex and she obviously knew I was wrapped up in Aspen, but I felt like a jerk because she was helping me. What if she did start getting the wrong idea? Holy, c.r.a.p, what if there was more to the reason shed agreed to this? I didnt think so, but couldnt be for sure. Shes a friend, I mumbled. Paul said something about me being lucky before leaving and Crystal sat back down.

You look nice, I told her, feeling obligated. I mean, she did look pretty, but again, it felt like I wasnt being sincere because it wasnt Aspen I was saying this to.

Umthanks?

I know I already thanked you, but I want to be sure you know I really do appreciate your help. And I felt like an idiot. And Aspen, I do love her. I just didnt want you to get-- Her hysterical laughter cut me off.

Whats so funny? I was slightly annoyed.

Crystal held up her hand. Believe me. You dont have to do this, Sebastian. Im not getting the wrong idea here. Im really just trying to help. Youre cool, but I dont see you like that.

Oh. Well, good. Im a jacka.s.s.

Am I interrupting? Jaden stood at the end of the table, his arms crossed over his chest, his jaw locked.

Nah, just wondering where you were, I said waiting for him to sit down, but he didnt. What was his problem? I looked over at Crystal and it clicked. This is Crystal, not Abby.

If anything my words seemed to make him madder. Shes also not Aspen.

Hey. Chill out. I got that he was a little confused, since Id been feeling too sorry for myself to tell him everything that went down lately, but it also wasnt fair to take it out on Crystal. Its not what you think, Jay.

Dude, you even said yourself Aspen and Pris were different. I thought for sure you werent stupid enough to blow her off.

Now that p.i.s.sed me off. Me, stupid? Look at you! Youve been doing this little dance around Pris forever. Why dont you grow a pair and go for her instead of hanging out with me so I can get you girls? Jadens face paled and I immediately regretted my words. This was my boy. We always had each others back and what Id just said to him was messed up. Dude, just let me explain. Were not really-- I hung out with you because you were my friend, not for girls. I can get those on my own and apparently, you can too. So many you dont know how to handle them all. Jaden put his hands flat on the table and leaned toward me. As for Pris? Not all of us can live in your fantasy Sebastian-land where we all get what we want. I may not have gone for her, but thats because I knew I would screw it up. Just like you thought you had it under control, but all you did was mess it up. Im done. Youre lucky youre my boy because you have no idea how much I want to knock you out right now. Jaden turned to leave.

It took me a minute to find my tongue. I was in shock, confused and a little p.i.s.sed off. Not thinking, I stood. Did you ever think she didnt want me? Why does it have to be my fault? I fell back into the seat, holding my head with both hands. What was going on here? Why had Jaden just freaked out on me without giving me a chance to explain?

Sebastian, are you sure you know what youre doing?

No. Yeah. Its under control. I just have to explain to Jaden whats going on and h.e.l.l understand. Hes probably just mad because I didnt tell him. I added that on the heaping pile of things that didnt feel right. There was more to what Jaden said than I understood, but it wasnt my fault. He was the one being all secretive and angry. Its not like he wasnt just as bad as me when it came to girls and this thing with Crystal wasnt even real. Were sticking to the plan.

I leaned back in the booth, my whole body wracked with tension. Crystal was quiet while I sat there with my eyes closed trying to figure everything out. I dont know what made me open them when I did, but as they popped open I saw Aspen. She looked at Pris and smiled; man, I wished she was smiling at me like that. This weekend, when shed looked at me, it felt like I was the king of the world, now when I pictured her, I only saw the look on her face when I told her it was over.

The anger in her eyes when she admitted she really wanted Mattie. I didnt get it”why or how Id somehow hurt her when she knew she was about to rip my heart out, but that smile”it almost made me forget it all. Everything inside me told me to stand up and go talk to her. That rush of adrenaline was back. Leaning over to Crystal, I started, Ill be. The right back died in my throat when Mattie walked up beside Aspen.

He put his hand on the small of her back and I tensed. I could have sworn she did at the same time. Was he touching her when she didnt want to be touched? Aspen smiled again, but this one not as big as she put an arm around Pris. The movement pulled her away from Mattie, but then she crooked her finger for him to follow them.

Im sorry Crystal fidgeted in her seat.

No biggie. But it was. We both knew it. How did everything get so screwed up?

I watched them as they sat at a table. It was kind of perfect, like the crowds of people parted so I had them in perfect view. Pris and Aspen were talking all animated like they always did, their hands moving just as fast as their mouths. Mattie looked a little out of the loop, sitting across the table, but me, I just liked watching them. Sure, I was pretty much crossing the line between crush and creepy stalker, but no one knew that. Well, except Crystal.

I snickered when Aspen made a weird face, scrunching up her eyes and frowning when Mattie said something. Yeah, she didnt like whatever he said. I could tell. So, I know this made me sound like a sap, but as I kept my eyes trained on them, watching that happiness and excitement, the heaviness in my chest eased up. I didnt feel so weighed down. Crazy the power girls had over us and they didnt even know it.

Leaning back in my seat, I slid my arm behind Crystal on the top of the seat. I wasnt touching her, just stretching as I made myself comfortable, and it was at that exact moment that her eyes wandered to me. My arm jerked, like it automatically wanted to pull away, but I fought to keep it there. Suddenly, the idea of making her jealous made my gut churn, but Id already started. Might as well see it through, right?

But she just looked away and finished her conversation.

No pause, no eyes looking at me like she wanted me the way I wanted her. Nothing. Ice p.r.i.c.ked across my skin, making me uncomfortable. I gotta go. I was done. I couldnt spend the whole night watching her with Mattie, sitting here with Crystal, when I really wanted to be with Aspen.

Once more, I glanced at their table, only to see it one person less.