Part 19 (1/2)

”I didn't mean it like that, baby. I'm sorry.”

”She's really dead,” she whispers as she looks back to a silent Pyro holding a limp Lana.

”I'm sorry,” I say in a small whisper because I really am sorry. Her love for Lana is and will always be strong.

The grand opening continued without its two headliners Lana and me, and it's been two days since my best friend died in Pyro's arms. I'm sitting on the couch with Braxxon when Smokey comes in with a box. He sits it down in front of us with an apologetic look. Braxxon kisses my shoulder before he picks me up off his lap and sits me down beside him. He leans forward and opens the box, pulling out three urns. They are beautiful urns.

”Who is who?” I ask quietly.

Smokey clears his throat before speaking. ”Haley and her baby are in the blue urn with the two doves. Eagle is in the black one with the Breakneck emblem and Lana is in the one with the Hawaiian flower on it.”

”How?” I croak.

”He's paid a lot of money for what he does and we said they were family. He took care of our family,” Braxxon answers.

Pyro walks by and does a double take when he notices the urns sitting on the table in front of us. You can hear the swallow he takes before walking over.

”Lana's-,” I say but Pyro cuts me off.

”She's the one with the flower,” he says sitting on the opposite side of the table.

I know Pyro is just as f.u.c.ked up over this as I am. He loved her too. Smokey and Braxxon take the other two urns and leave Pyro and me with Lana's.

”She loved you; you know that,” I say as I look up into Pyro's eyes.

”I know... she... she told me,” he says quietly. ”I can't do this s.h.i.+t.”

He gets up and walks out of the clubhouse, leaving me all alone with my best friend's ashes in front of me.

Braxxon calls for a preacher to do a small prayer at the clubhouse for Haley, Lana, and Eagle. The brothers all take a shot gla.s.s from Braxxon, and he hands me one. We shoot tequila straight in honor of the ones we lost. When the preacher leaves, Braxxon takes the picture of Lana and me from my hands and replaces it with Lana's urn while he walks the other two urns to a gla.s.sed in case. I follow him and I notice photos and some other urns already in there. I spot Phil's photo along with his prayer card from his funeral inside.

”My father started this for the people we lost that mean something to us,” Braxxon says as he slides a key in and unlocks the gla.s.s case. ”The ones we love are always in view. They belong and deserve to be in here.”

Tears leave my eyes as he places Haley and Eagle inside, then takes Lana away from me, sets her inside, and places our photo in front of her urn.

”It's not over,” I whisper as he locks the gla.s.s case.

Braxxon sighs and turns towards me. ”I know, Angel. Let's go do some lines. We need an upper.”

I want to protest because I would like to be sober in case something else happens, but anything to get me out of this miserable f.u.c.king place I'm at in my head sounds way too good. We sit at the bar and he takes out a vial and dumps it. He takes a credit card and dices it into four large lines. He reaches across the bar, snags up a straw, takes his knife from his pocket, and cuts it making a few small funnels. Braxxon hands me one and holds up two fingers.

I bend down and snort up the two large lines. The cocaine rushes through my system as I tilt my head to the sky and snort up any loose power that may be sitting in my nose. As Braxxon does his two lines, we hear the rumble of bikes up at the gate. I look up at the monitor and notice it is the lady charter.

”One f.u.c.king day without drama,” I curse. ”That's all I want.”

”I called them here,” Braxxon says while squeezing his nose and snorting up his loose powder.

”Why the s.h.i.+t would you do that?” I yell.

”They need protection too,” is all he says as he gets up.

f.u.c.k!.

I don't know how I much more I can take before I lose all my sanity.

”Dammit Tatiana,” ZZ curses loudly walking into the room with Berry and his daughter. ”You weren't supposed to stay and neither were you mom.”

”Don't give me that s.h.i.+t. I've done lost my husband. I'll be d.a.m.ned if I run and hide when my son and the rest of my family are in danger,” Berry scolds.

”I'm eighteen. Get over it.” Tatiana follows Berry's words.

”One day,” I whisper.

”f.u.c.k, I gotta call Utah and let them know you two idiots aren't coming,” he yells stomping away. ”It'll be you two that will kill me, not any f.u.c.king bullet.”

The Breakneck ladies come walking in behind Braxxon, and I roll my eyes. I can't take their s.h.i.+t right now. Dizzy breaks away and walks towards me.

”I wanted to apologize for the way things were between us the first time we met,” she says sitting on a stool next to me.

I close my eyes and take in a large breath of air. ”I have enough s.h.i.+t going on with my life than to worry about your precious apology. I've lost my best friend, and I'm not looking for a new one. Take that apology and shove it up your a.s.s. If I catch you looking at Braxxon in any way other a friendly manner, I will hurt you.”

”Angel,” Braxxon scolds behind me.

”Last time this b.i.t.c.h was here, you f.u.c.ked her. She's one of your three, so don't f.u.c.king Angel me!”

He tries grabbing my arm to stop me as I stand to walk away. I jerk back, and his face goes contorted as if I've just burnt him.

”I thought we were past that s.h.i.+t; you told me to do it,” he growls.

I roll my eyes. I've been doing that a lot lately. ”We are. But just because I'm past it doesn't mean that the memory isn't still fresh in my mind.” I smirk. ”And that's not what bothers me. It's the three s.h.i.+t that bothers me.”

”We'll be right back Diz,” he tells her as he jerks me towards the hallway. ”G.o.d dammit Angel, three women I've cared about. You're the first person I've ever been in love with. Jesus f.u.c.king Christ,” he roars as he throws me over his shoulder.

”What the h.e.l.l are you doing?” I kick and scream as he walks us up the steps to his apartment.

”I'm gonna fill that c.u.n.t with my c.o.c.k,” he says slamming the door behind us. ”I should shove it in your smart mouth instead, but I love the way your p.u.s.s.y walls suffocate my d.i.c.k.”

I laugh. I can't help it. He's crazy.

”You think that's funny?” He laughs back smacking my a.s.s.

”Yep.”

”Oh baby,” he says sitting me on his dresser. ”Spread those gorgeous legs and lift that dress up.”

I smile as I spread my legs while sliding my dress up to my hips. His gray eyes smolder when he sees I have no panties on. I decide to tease him just a bit more. I run my finger along my folds before I slide it in and pump it a few times. I take my finger out, bring it to my lips, and suck on it.

”Say it baby.” His voice comes out husky.

”Ya tebya Lyublyu,” I coo between sucking on my finger. ”I love you.”