Part 33 (1/2)

But he's never heard you blabbing at me. Go away.

That Guy The one now living behind my eyes, keeps trying to tell me what to do, and it's getting really annoying. I did what he said-posted those pics of Cara and her girlfriend. He said they'd go viral, and boy, did they! People clear across the country, and probably around the world, have had the chance to gawk at Cara's p.u.s.s.y. I see her at school, and I'm pretty sure she knows. If looks could kill, I'd be skinned and left for the bone pickers. But she hasn't said a word. Of course, what is there, really, to say?

She can't even prove that you're the one who posted them.

I Hope The Guy Behind My Eyes Doesn't talk all the way through prom tonight. It's late this year, rescheduled from an early April weekend with too much snow coming down. Duvall and I hired a limo (with a lot of help from his parents and Uncle Jeff).

Might as well do it right.

Aubree is wearing purple, so I got a lavender tux. Hope it doesn't make me look gay.

Gay. Hmm. Wonder if that b.i.t.c.h is coming with Blue Hair.

Of course she's coming with Blue Hair. Just not to prom.

Shut up, a.s.shole! Oh my G.o.d! Does she come? And just when did she know she wanted to come with girls? And was it my fault?

Think I'd Better Lift A little before it's time to ”s.h.i.+t, shower, and shave,” as my dad used to say. d.a.m.n, I wish he was here. Remembering him opens a big sinkhole in me.

Why does everyone important have to desert me? I'm almost to the bas.e.m.e.nt door when the doorbell rings. I look out the peephole. It's a uniform.

”Aunt Mo,” I yell. ”You'd better come here. It's a cop.” I don't wait for her to open the door.

”Can I help you?” Aunt Mo's footsteps approach quickly, and I'm glad she's here when the big deputy says, I'm looking for Sean O'Connell. Is that you?

My head sort of bobs, and he goes on. I need to ask you some questions. Do you want to let me in? He looks at Aunt Mo, who pulls the door the rest of the way open, allowing him to step through. d.a.m.n, the man is tall. He makes me feel like a dwarf. ”Uh, did I, like, do something? Jaywalk?

Run a red light? What?” Does he know about the steroids?

Do you mind if I ask the questions? Do you know a girl named Cara Sykes?

”Uh, yeah. We used to go out.”

But now she's a lesbian and ...

Oh, s.h.i.+t. This can't be about that.

And do you know anything about posting p.o.r.nographic photos of her on the Internet?

Before I Can Answer Aunt Mo puts the brakes on.

Excuse me, but is Sean in some sort of trouble? Sean, do you have any idea what Deputy ...

uh ... Rossiter is talking about?

The guy obviously knows something. Lying would be stupid. I'll try avoidance.

”I did see some pictures of her. They were pretty bad.”

Rumor has it that you took them. Which would mean criminal trespa.s.s. And Ms.

Sykes is alleging stalking.

Does that sound accurate?

Guy Behind My Eyes: Deny!

”Well, no, I ... not exactly.”

GBME: That is not denial.

”I wouldn't call it stalking.”

GBME: I think we're in trouble.

Being Eighteen Has a lot of advantages.

You can vote. You can go where you want. Do what you want without a parent or guardian's approval.

One major disadvantage: If you're arrested, you go straight to jail. Do not stop at juvenile hall. Do not take a parent or guardian with you.

The good deputy reminded me that I have the right to an attorney and to keep my big mouth shut. GBME agreed. So did Aunt Mo.

I'll call Jeff and we'll get you an attorney. Don't worry.

We'll have you out of there before you know it.She didn't even ask about the pictures.

GBME: Ha! Maybe she's already seen them.

”No way. Don't be ridiculous.”

GBME: You never know.

Deputy Rossiter: Who in the h.e.l.l are you talking to back there?

”No one. Sorry. Just processing.”

GBME: Maybe Aunt Mo is a lezbo too. Maybe she'd like them.

”Aunt Mo is so not a lezbo.”

GBME: You never know.

Deputy Rossiter: Did you know crazy people talk to themselves?

”I am not crazy.”