Part 23 (1/2)

Just as Dani starts to knock, the door opens. Laughter spills out, along with a quite inebriated girl. Careful of those Jell-O shots, she warns.

They might get you all f.u.c.ked up.

And she definitely knows from experience. She stumbles toward a leafless hedge, hurls something thick and red. Dani and I go inside.

I Expect Her to Let Go Of me. She doesn't, at least not right away. Her hold is protective, possessive. The front room is packed tightly with people. We work our way through the human mesh, drawing more than a few direct stares. Can't be because we're together. I've never seen so many same-s.e.x couples before.

Not all in one place, laughing, downing drinks, making out in plain view.

Other than the girl-girl, boy-boy thing, it's like any party I've ever been to.

I wish I could say I feel comfortable.

I put my mouth against Dani's ear.

”What's everyone looking at?”

At first, I think she can't hear me.

She doesn't answer immediately.

Finally we push our way through the thick knot of people, into a semi- quiet corner. They're looking at you.

I know quite a few of these people.

They've never seen me with you before, or with anyone remotely like you. We are a topic of interest.

Sure enough, when I glance around, I see people checking us out. Evaluating. ”What do you mean, not even remotely like me?”

Dani waves to a girl across the room.

She is tiny. Cute, in a boyish way.

That's Bianca, my old girlfriend.

See what I mean? Nothing like you.

This is all such new ground.

Every spark of self-confidence flickers. Did we have to run into her ex? ”Were you in love with her?”

I guess I thought so at the time.

But love is a fragile thing. Easily broken. And what does it matter, anyway? I want to be with you now.

She Proves It With a kiss. Awkward at first, because I rarely kiss with people watching me. Yet I can't stop.

I want this. Want her. Don't care who knows. I thread myself into her arms, invite her tongue into my mouth. Oh G.o.d, it all feels so right, I don't want to stop.

I want to go further. Set no limits.

Dive deeper. Explore unknown territory. Find secret places. Climb steeper cliffs. Higher and higher.

My heart sunbursts in my chest and my eyes quiver open. Surely everyone is staring right now.

But I find only one. ”Bianca.”

I didn't mean to say it out loud.

Dani smiles. Don't worry. Better she knows about us. Now how 'bout we find something to drink?

I'm Not Much Of A Drinker In fact, I don't drink at all. But I don't need to say so. We start toward the breakfast bar, where a few people are filling their cups.

Dani asks what I want. I shrug.

”Surprise me.” She reaches for a tall bottle of rum, manages to pour some over ice, when a voice sharp as snipped tin slices into us from behind.

Well, h.e.l.lo, Dani. I never knew you had a thing for femmes.

Dani turns to face Bianca. Good to see you, Bee. You know I'm not much into stereotypes.

Guess she is femme. Pretty, too.

Wait. Stereotype? What? ”Don't talk about me like I'm not here, okay?” Anger flares, and as I start to walk away, Bianca mouths, Fake.

Kendra

Fake Is that what you are if you choose to improve the basic not perfect you?

Add a cup size or two.

Puff up your lips.

Reshape your nose.

Subtract an inch or two from your belly, b.u.t.t, and thighs.

Tighten your skin until what's left behind is blotch free.

Unlined. Then, quick, take a picture or two of you before it all falls apart again and you have to start over.

Two Days Until my surgery. Can't wait. Wish I had to wait much longer. I'm nervous.

Excited. Looking forward to fixing something wrong with me. Why couldn't I just be born with a perfect nose?

One thing for sure. I can't sit here all weekend thinking about Monday.