Part 19 (1/2)

Fight For Love?

Would I? Could I? Should I? If it came down to fighting someone else for Jenna's love, I might.

But fighting to hold on to her love is something else.

Especially considering I'm not sure she loves me, or if she's even capable of loving someone.

Hiding somewhere in that girl is a soul defined by pain. I don't know what sort of hurt left her fragile, and she would argue that she's strong as brick. But beneath her wall of bl.u.s.ter is uneven ground.

A good hard shake could bring it all cras.h.i.+ng down. The question I keep asking myself is, do I want to be standing there when it happens?

I Really Have No Option Any crumbs of choice blew away the first time she kissed me. And she knew it too.

Now I've got you right where I want you, she said. Of course ”where she wants me” seems to change, practically from day to day.

And where she wants me today is having lunch with her father and his fiancee. The one she's p.i.s.sed about. My gut tells me this may not go well. We arrive at Rose's a full half hour late. Jenna is always late.

But this was, I'm pretty sure, a deliberate grand entrance.

She never ever talks about her dad.

And I'm really very sure he has no idea about me.

That Theory Is Confirmed The second we walk through the door.

Who the f.u.c.k is that with your sister? The words slap the air, accompanied by chunks of sandwich.

Way to break it to him, Jenna. At least her mother didn't yell. I consider making a sharp U-turn and running like h.e.l.l. But Jenna tightens her grip on my hand. Come on, she says. He won't hurt you. I won't let him. And she drags me across the short distance to the food-sprayed table. Sorry we're late. I had to change my tampon. Man!

If looks could kill, I'd be embalmed already. Jenna's dad is seriously disturbed. By us? Me? Both?

Kendra says nothing. Just sits, staring at us with a mixture of amus.e.m.e.nt and-relief?-in her eyes.

The fiancee keeps one hand on Jenna's father's arm, as if that could keep him safely anch.o.r.ed.

Jenna pushes me into an empty chair.

I am starving. She checks out Kendra's plate. Not for spinach, though. We're all transfixed, even her father, who clearly can't quite process what he's seeing.

Finally Jenna notices our blank-eyed gawk. What? Oh.

Introductions. This is my boyfriend, Andre.

That's my dad. And that... She points, quite rudely. Uh, not sure what her name is. Back to the menu.

Part Of Me Wants to break the spell Jenna has put us under. Another part knows I really need to keep my mouth shut. And there is still that little voice that keeps insisting, ”Run!”

I look at Kendra, eyes begging for help.

But it is the fiancee who finally speaks up.

I'm s.h.i.+loh. Glad to meet you, Jenna. And you, too, Andre.

Jenna ignores her, but my manners kick in immediately. ”Thanks so much, and very pleased to meet you, too.

And you as well, Mr. Mathieson. Oh, and congratulations on your engagement.” I extend my right hand.

What was anger just seconds ago swells into palpable fury.

Listen here, boy. I don't know who you are, and I don't want to know, but if I were you, I'd get the f.u.c.k out of here right d.a.m.n now.

”Excuse me, sir, but I don't understand what I did to make you so angry. Is it dating Jenna? Because I'm not the first guy she's gone out with.”

I glance at Jenna, who for some inane reason seems to be enjoying the whole thing. Chill out, Dad, she says.

I don't choose who you date. Let alone who you get engaged to.

The room has fallen morgue silent. All activity has ceased.

”Uh, Jenna, maybe we should just go.”

Mr. Mathieson starts to stand, only to be braked by s.h.i.+loh.

You go, he says. Jenna is staying here.

This Is Insane I have no idea what my next move should be, other than to do exactly as he has suggested. Every eye in the restaurant is looking at us-me- and that makes me extremely uncomfortable. I can't meet Jenna's father's gaze, so I speak directly to s.h.i.+loh. ”Very sorry about-” Wait. What am I sorry about?

”Scratch that. I'm not sorry. I didn't do anything except walk through the door with your daughter.”

Directed in a straight line at Mr. Mathieson.

”I don't know what your problem is, but I'm not going to make it mine.

I'm leaving, Jenna. You can come with me, or you can stay.

It doesn't really matter either way.”

I Turn My Back On the whole ugly scene, walk away without a backward glance. Behind me, things escalate into a regular shouting match. Jenna: You had no right to do that, Dad. Andre is really good to me.

Dad: Listen to me, little girl. I'd better never see you with someone like... that... again. Never.

Someone like... that? I am almost through the door when Jenna confirms the reference.

You mean someone who's black? G.o.d, Dad. What century do you live in? Anyway, we're just going out. It's not like we're getting married and making babies together or something. Andre! Wait up.

I keep on walking. Last thing I need is for some racist jerk to come gunning for me. And that seems a likely possibility. Jenna! Get your a.s.s back here right now!