Part 45 (1/2)
Ouch.
He tried to imagine how awful it must've been, to have survived all that Eden had-the hurricane, the flooding, her courageous quest to save Ben, and her a.s.sumed failure despite all of her sacrifices-and then have her own mother believe Ron's lies.
”She's damaged,” Dan told Eden now, talking about Ivette.
”I know.”
”I'm damaged, too,” he admitted. ”But...I'm getting better.”
”Is that an apology?”
He forced a smile. ”I kind of feel like I should start every sentence I ever say to you with I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” He sighed. ”I know it's lame to make excuses, but growing up in that house, with Sandy? I used to go out, looking for her, late at night, so she wouldn't spend the entire night pa.s.sed out on the neighbor's lawn-or worse, in the street-”
”You don't have to explain,” Eden said. ”I was there, too.”
”You were so much younger.”
”But I knew what you were doing.”
”I am am sorry,” he said. ”Because you were right when you said...what you said. You're sorry,” he said. ”Because you were right when you said...what you said. You're not not Sandy.” Sandy.”
Eden nodded. ”And you're not Dad. I know that, too.”
She was talking about his accidentally hitting Jenn, and he had to look away so she didn't see the tears that leaped into his eyes. Or maybe it was okay to let her see. ”Thank you,” he said.
”Thank you, too,” she whispered back. ”Although, for a while, I thought I was. Sandy. After...I think maybe I tried to be just like her, since everyone thought...And I made a lot of bad mistakes, I'm well aware of that. I also owe you a lot of money-I want to pay you back-I've got most of it-”
”From stripping?” he asked, looking at her, and she didn't disagree. ”Like that's that's not a mistake?” not a mistake?”
”I quit,” she told him. ”Working at the club. Izzy asked me to, so...”
”Good,” he said. ”Because you have plenty of other options.”
The look she shot him was not one of agreement.
Dan sat forward. ”You do,” he said. ”You're good with kids-weren't you working as a nanny for a while?”
”For a single mom,” she said. ”But the women with the husbands? They don't want to hire me. Believe me, I've tried.”
”You know, Jenk and Lindsey are having a baby,” Dan told her.
Eden's face brightened. ”I know. Izzy told me. That's so great.”
”Jenk was telling me that there's such a baby boom going on, over where Lindsey works, at Troubleshooters, they're talking about setting up child care, right on the premises.”
”Seriously?” Eden asked.
”One of the pregnancies is Tommy's wife, Kelly,” Dan said. ”And since he owns the place...”
”Well, that's really great,” Eden said.
”Sophia's pregnant, too,” Dan said. ”You remember her, right?”
”The Sophia you have a mad crush on?” Eden lowered her voice to ask, her eyes wide.
”Had,” he corrected her, glancing toward the kitchen. ”Past tense. Very, very very past tense.” past tense.”
”How did that that happen? By immaculate conception? While she was flying around on her perfect angel wings?” happen? By immaculate conception? While she was flying around on her perfect angel wings?”
Dan had to laugh. ”No, I'm pretty sure it happened the good old-fas.h.i.+oned human way. She's married now. To Dave Malkoff.”
”What?” Eden said, her mouth dropping open. ”Wow, I missed a lot. It's like I went away for a while, and came back to some kind of weird alternate universe where Princess Sophia married married the grumpy troll.” the grumpy troll.”
”Dave's not so grumpy anymore.”
She laughed. ”I bet.”
”If you want,” Dan said, ”I could check with Tommy, maybe get you a job interview. If they're actually gonna go ahead with the child-care thing...”
She was silent, so he quickly added, ”Unless it's too soon, you know, for you to work with, um, infants. And I'm sorry if that's a touchy subject-”
”No,” Eden said. ”No. It's not. I just...need to think about it a little bit, before...”
”Just let me know,” he said. ”Okay?”
She nodded and they sat in silence for a moment, but then Dan had to ask, ”Do you, I don't know, want to press charges? Against Ron? I don't think it's too late. Statute of limitations and everything. We could-”
She was shaking her head. ”Ron's already in jail.”
”But not for what he did to you,” Dan pointed out.
”You and Izzy are so much alike,” Eden told him. ”Always ready to rush in and slay the dragons. Ron's in jail-he can't hurt anyone else. And me? I'm...okay.”
”Are you?” Dan asked.
She didn't answer him directly. She just said, almost wistfully, ”Do you think maybe things would've been different? If Charlie hadn't died?”
”Maybe,” Dan said, smiling as he remembered the one man that their mother had hooked up with that he'd actually liked. Loved, even. ”I don't know, Eed. Ivette seemed to be the happiest she'd ever been when she was with him, so...Yeah. Maybe.”
”He was teaching her how to be human,” Eden told him, using close to his own words. ”But he ran out of time.” She laughed, but it wasn't because she thought anything was funny. ”Do you know he was the only only person who told me that I was going to be okay, after John Franklin dumped me? Everyone else told me I was going to h.e.l.l, that person who told me that I was going to be okay, after John Franklin dumped me? Everyone else told me I was going to h.e.l.l, that you reap what you sow you reap what you sow, but Charlie told me that making bad choices was a part of growing up. I'd made the mistake of believing John, and...Live and learn, Charlie said. But then, just a few days later, he was gone. And then Katrina happened, and the thing with Ron, and...I started making bad choices on purpose. Because I didn't think I deserved anything better.”
”Is that why you were fighting with Zanella?” he asked her quietly. ”Because you don't think you deserve to be happy?”
”No, actually, I'm good with being happy these days,” she said, and she looked away, but not before he saw the misery in her eyes. ”Izzy, um, told me he was leaving. For good.”
s.h.i.+t. ”Eden, he sometimes drives me nuts, but he's...” Dan laughed and rolled his eyes. ”I can't believe I'm saying this, but...beneath his outer a.s.shole, you were right. Zanella is is a good guy. I mean, tonight? When he went off? a good guy. I mean, tonight? When he went off? f.u.c.k you and f.u.c.k you! f.u.c.k you and f.u.c.k you! That was pretty beautiful. And if there's one thing that I have absolutely no doubt about? Even when he's p.i.s.sing me off? It's that he loves you.” That was pretty beautiful. And if there's one thing that I have absolutely no doubt about? Even when he's p.i.s.sing me off? It's that he loves you.”
”Yeah, well, great. He's got a funny way of showing it.” She stood up, clearly not wanting to talk about this. ”We need to focus on finding Ben. If he is is at Crossroads, the stress is going to be intense. When Izzy calls, we should be ready to meet him with this”-she held up the meter-”and some insulin.” at Crossroads, the stress is going to be intense. When Izzy calls, we should be ready to meet him with this”-she held up the meter-”and some insulin.”
”Maybe he's not there,” Dan suggested. ”Maybe he went out looking for his freaky little friend. Neesha. Or...maybe...Do you know if Ben has a, you know...” He cleared his throat. ”Boyfriend?”