Part 40 (1/2)

G.o.d, he hoped so...

For the first time in years, Ben had started looking forward to the future. Having Danny and Eden in his life again was a miracle he'd never dreamed possible. And then to add in both Izzy and Jenn...?

Over the past few days, he'd had a glimpse of what life with them would be like.

And after the h.e.l.l of Crossroads and the purgatory that had been his life with Greg, it was nirvana.

It wouldn't be perfect. He knew that. Money was and would remain an issue. And it wouldn't be easy, either, when Danny and Izzy went overseas.

But there would be laughter.

And he would be hugged.

Even when he was little, Eden had been the only one who'd ever hugged him. But over the past few days, he'd been hugged by Izzy and Jenn and even Danny, too. That had been weird, and Ben had been surprised and he'd frozen before he could hug his brother back. But he'd hugged Danny tonight, after the wedding and...

It was amazing how such a little, seemingly insignificant thing could matter so much. It was amazing how quickly he could move from feeling isolated, desperate, and alone, to feeling surrounded by love and genuine affection.

Ben still didn't quite feel completely safe, but that would change the moment they got into their car and drove away from this city and Greg. And yes, it was a little scary to think about living in San Diego. He'd never been there, not even to visit, and he had no idea what it would be like. School would probably suck, but school was probably going to suck wherever he lived.

It would be bearable, though, knowing he had a place to go-a home-where he could be himself, where he was loved loved for being himself. for being himself.

Ben looked at himself in the bathroom mirror as he put his toothbrush back in the cup Eden had put out for him. With Dan, Jenni, and Izzy all staying here, all four of the slots had already been filled in the holder that stuck out from the wall.

Except, they weren't. Not anymore.

There was an empty spot.

Which meant that Izzy had already packed his toothbrush.

Whatever talk he was intending to have with Eden in the morning? It was highly likely that it would include the word good-bye good-bye. That is, if he wasn't lying to Ben, and was, in truth, planning to sneak away before the break of dawn, the way so many of Ivette's countless boyfriends had done.

If Deshawndra were here, she would urge Ben to act. Helping Neesha could could bring Izzy and Eden together. He could find the girl and kill two birds with one stone. bring Izzy and Eden together. He could find the girl and kill two birds with one stone.

He could practically hear her voice: Neesha needs your help. So do those two fools, sleeping in two separate beds tonight. Don't wait for them-you'll be waiting forever Neesha needs your help. So do those two fools, sleeping in two separate beds tonight. Don't wait for them-you'll be waiting forever.

But...The men who were after Neesha knew what Ben looked like. They were armed. And dangerous. He couldn't just go to the mall and look for her.

But people see what they expect to see. You made yourself stand out. Now make yourself blend in.

Ben leaned in close to look at his hair in the bathroom mirror. His roots were showing, but to get rid of the black dye job, he'd have to give himself a buzz cut. And he wasn't ready for that.

No, instead he'd go blond. There was a twenty-four-hour drugstore down on the corner. He could sneak out and pick up some Miss Clairol Whatever and be back here in a matter of minutes. He could bleach and color and even cut his hair tonight, and be ready to pop on over to the mall first thing in the morning, stopping at the Salvation Army to trade in his black jeans and T-s.h.i.+rt for a pair of shorts and a s.h.i.+rt in bright colors.

Once he did that?

Without his Goth costume and makeup, his own brother and sister wouldn't recognize him.

Do it.

Ben left the bathroom and went back into the living room, where Izzy was sleeping soundly. He crept past him and lifted the chair cus.h.i.+on under which he'd hidden the stash of money that Izzy and Eden had removed from its hiding place in Greg and Ivette's house. He didn't take the entire envelope-he just grabbed a couple of twenties, because he was uncertain as to how much the hair color kit would cost.

One thing he did did know? Coloring his hair was going to smell. When he'd dyed his hair black, it had stunk to high heavens. know? Coloring his hair was going to smell. When he'd dyed his hair black, it had stunk to high heavens.

With a little luck, both Eden and Izzy would sleep through it. If not, he would play dumb. I couldn't sleep, and I wanted a change... I couldn't sleep, and I wanted a change...

Ben pocketed the money and turned off all the lights, and with his clothes and sneakers still on, he climbed beneath the sheets and blankets on the twin-sized air mattress. All he had to do was wait for Eden to emerge from her bedroom to use the bathroom, and mumble good night as if he were already falling asleep...

Then, after she went into her room, he could dash down to the drugstore and be back without either of them ever knowing he'd been gone.

Jenn didn't let Danny carry her over the threshold when they went into the hotel honeymoon suite.

It was more than merely impractical when it came to caring for his recent injury. It was...too much for her to take after the wedding vows and the rings and that incredible kiss he'd given her at Mr. Fudd's command...

You may kiss the bride.

She felt as if she were doing role-playing make-believe with a lover who was far more into the game than she was.

It was doubly strange, because she'd always thought of Danny as someone who had a little trouble living in the moment. He worried a great deal about his family responsibilities, and he always seemed to carry those worries with him.

And yes, she knew he had to be different when out on one of his SEAL team missions. He would have to focus intensely, in order to keep himself and his teammates out of peril. Jenn suspected, at those times, that he compartmentalized and just pushed everything else aside.

Kind of the way he was doing right now.

Tonight, she she was his full focus, and it was rather disarming. was his full focus, and it was rather disarming.

She'd felt that focus before-on the night that he'd seduced her. He'd pretended to read her palm and, because of the lines on her hand, accused her of being too pragmatic.

She'd proven him wrong by leaping into bed with him. Or maybe she'd proven him right, because having s.e.x with men she'd just met was not in her usual no-nonsense repertoire.

Of course, Jenn had outdone herself tonight, in terms of nonpragmatic behavior. Or maybe this was was pragmatic-marrying a man in order to help him save his brother from a terrible, life-threatening situation at home. But it should have been done quickly and quietly-matter-of-factly, minus the trumpet fanfare. pragmatic-marrying a man in order to help him save his brother from a terrible, life-threatening situation at home. But it should have been done quickly and quietly-matter-of-factly, minus the trumpet fanfare.

It definitely had felt weird to do it this this way, all fancy and formal, with the dress and the uniform and the flowers and the pictures and the honeymoon suite. way, all fancy and formal, with the dress and the uniform and the flowers and the pictures and the honeymoon suite.

Still, Dan was so clearly enjoying the entire experience, Jenn didn't have the heart not to smile back at him as he opened the bottle of champagne that had been waiting for them in their suite, chilling in a bucket of ice.

There were roses, too-three giant bouquets-strategically placed around the s.p.a.cious room.

Everything was lovely-and Danny was, too, dressed as he was all in white, with those colorful rows of ribbons adorning his broad chest.

He poured them both gla.s.ses and handed her one and smiled into her eyes as he touched his flute to hers and gave a toast. ”To my beautiful wife, Mrs. Jennilyn Gillman.”

She'd surprised him at the chapel, when she'd declined to keep her own name. He'd clearly expected her to. He'd also clearly been charmingly pleased that she hadn't, and she didn't have the heart to tell him that it was a strategic move on her part. Although she had no idea if presenting such a unified front would help them gain custody of Ben, she knew it would be useful in the coming months when dealing with his schoolteachers and doctors-with all of whom she expected to have a large amount of contact.

And okay, yeah, maybe she was was also guilty of being sappy and sentimental, but part of her liked the fantasy elements that accompanied the tradition of a woman taking her man's name. There was a sense of owners.h.i.+p there that went both ways. She was his woman, his wife. And he was her husband, her man. also guilty of being sappy and sentimental, but part of her liked the fantasy elements that accompanied the tradition of a woman taking her man's name. There was a sense of owners.h.i.+p there that went both ways. She was his woman, his wife. And he was her husband, her man.

And she certainly liked the idea of Dan Gillman being her man her man.

”You've been really quiet,” he said now as he gazed at her with those chocolate-brown eyes. ”Are you okay?”