Part 23 (1/2)

Dan knew he should apologize, but the words caught in his throat because he didn't want to. He was that mad. At Izzy and Eden. At the entire universe. At every human being on the planet except for Jennilyn and Ben.

”Will you, um, excuse us for a second, Jenn?” Izzy turned slightly toward Jennilyn, looking past Dan, but not quite meeting Jenn's eyes, either. At least as far as Dan could tell. He seemed to be looking at a spot on the wall across the room. ”I have to say something to Dan that he'd prefer you don't hear.”

”I don't keep secrets from my girlfriend,” Dan said.

But Jenn was already rising to her feet. ”I'll go see how Eden and Ben are doing.” She gave his hand one last squeeze. ”Please, no bloodshed.”

Izzy waited until she walked away, until she rounded the corner. And even then, when he spoke, he kept his voice low. ”I have opinions and predictions about your relations.h.i.+p, too, you know. Plenty of them, in fact. And I happen to think that you're using Jenn and that you're a s.h.i.+t. And I happen to know that if she hadn't come to Germany the way that she did, you'd've hooked up-in a heartbeat-with Sheila Anderson.”

”No,” Dan protested. ”I wouldn't have.” But even as he said the words, he knew that it certainly would have been his pattern in the past.

”Yeah, you would've,” Izzy argued. ”Because that's what you you do, a.s.shole. You sleep with whoever makes googly eyes at you-as long as they're convenient and as long as there's an end date in sight. Me, I have a weakness for your sister. And yes, I continue to want her-wherever and whenever possible. Am I using her, simply because I know for a fact that she doesn't love me? Maybe I am. And maybe that makes me a s.h.i.+t, too. But I think it just makes me a fool and all those other things that you didn't disagree that I wasn't. But as much of a fool and a dips.h.i.+t that I am? I am do, a.s.shole. You sleep with whoever makes googly eyes at you-as long as they're convenient and as long as there's an end date in sight. Me, I have a weakness for your sister. And yes, I continue to want her-wherever and whenever possible. Am I using her, simply because I know for a fact that she doesn't love me? Maybe I am. And maybe that makes me a s.h.i.+t, too. But I think it just makes me a fool and all those other things that you didn't disagree that I wasn't. But as much of a fool and a dips.h.i.+t that I am? I am not not deluded. I know Eden's not going to stay with me for very long. I know what's coming, and my life will go on. But until then? I'm on board this train, this incredibly fabulous train, whether you like it or not. deluded. I know Eden's not going to stay with me for very long. I know what's coming, and my life will go on. But until then? I'm on board this train, this incredibly fabulous train, whether you like it or not.

”So. You think I'm a s.h.i.+t, and I know know you're a s.h.i.+t,” Izzy continued. ”But here's how we're going to get along for these next few days or months or yes, years, if I'm that freaking lucky. You watch your mouth when you talk about your sister. You show some respect. And I won't kill you. That sound fair to you? Because it sounds really, you're a s.h.i.+t,” Izzy continued. ”But here's how we're going to get along for these next few days or months or yes, years, if I'm that freaking lucky. You watch your mouth when you talk about your sister. You show some respect. And I won't kill you. That sound fair to you? Because it sounds really, really really fair to me.” fair to me.”

Izzy stood up, clearly not intending to wait for Danny's response. Which was probably good because Danny was stuck on that one most horrifying word that Izzy had said.

Years.

Holy Christ, if everything went just just right, he was going to share an apartment with Ben and Eden and freaking Izzy Zanella for right, he was going to share an apartment with Ben and Eden and freaking Izzy Zanella for years years.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

The nearest big city was Los Angeles. Neesha had gone to the library, to look at a map, but the librarian had waved to her and said, ”There was a man here yesterday, and I think he was looking for you,” so she made up an excuse-Oh, I forgot my phone-and hurried away.

She went instead to a bookstore and wandered until she found some maps in a rack. And she knew the writing that said Las Vegas-she could recognize that and she found it, and found the next-nearest big dot. She'd stopped a friendly-looking woman with a baby in a stroller and asked for help. English was her second language, could she please p.r.o.nounce this city's name for her?

Los Angeles.

She'd gone from there to the bus depot and with her heart pounding, watching all the time for Mr. Nelson or Todd or their men, she stood in line. She'd been here before, hoping that she could sneak onto a bus and leave the city. But she'd seen the security. She saw how it worked. People would come to this counter, hand over their little plastic cards or bills similar to the one she'd taken from Ben's sister's client. They were given a piece of paper that they would then show to the driver as they boarded their bus.

At last it was her turn and she moved to the counter. She was separated from the woman who sat back there by a thick window of plastic, although there was a narrow hole at the bottom.

”Destination,” the woman said, her voice sounding strange and metallic. Neesha didn't know what that meant and she froze.

The woman sighed and rolled her eyes. ”Where are you going?” she said, still in that metallic voice, but much more slowly, each word carefully p.r.o.nounced.

That Neesha knew. ”Los Angeles.”

”One way or round-trip?”

Again, Neesha had no clue. She shook her head.

”Child, where where is your mother?” the woman said. is your mother?” the woman said.

Another question she could answer. ”She's dead.”

”Oh, Lordy,” the woman said. ”Okay, all right. Are you coming back to Las Vegas or are you planning to stay in L.A.?”

L.A.-she'd heard of L.A. on the television. Was that the same as Los Angeles? She hoped so.

”I'm not coming back,” Neesha said.

”One way, then,” the woman told her. ”Cash or credit?”

Cash was another word for the money Neesha had taken, so she took the bill from her pocket now, and slid it through the slot beneath the plastic window.

”What's this?” the woman said, as if she didn't recognize it.

”Cash,” Neesha said.

”Oh, honey, this is just a fraction fraction of what you need for a ticket to L.A.” of what you need for a ticket to L.A.”

Neesha didn't know fraction fraction and she stared at the woman in confusion. and she stared at the woman in confusion.

”One way to L.A. is fifty-five dollars,” the woman told her, pus.h.i.+ng the bill back out that slot. ”You're thirty-five dollars short.”

”I'm sorry.”

”I am, too. Child, if you need help-”

Neesha shook her head as she took the money she'd stolen, jammed it back into her pocket, and hurried away.

She was running out of both options and time.

Ben was asleep when Izzy came back to the hospital.

Eden went out into the hall so their conversation wouldn't wake him.

”He's doing well,” she reported. ”The nurse went to see about getting him discharged so we can bring him home. We have to sign some special paper, some kind of disclaimer or something, because they'd prefer to keep him overnight, but his insurance won't cover it, and since Danny's getting a little nutty about all the money, I thought...Besides, he's good. Ben. He says he feels much better and he really wants to leave, and since he's been dealing with the diabetes for years...I trust him to have a good read on his own body.”

”Good,” Izzy said. ”That's good. If you trust him, I trust him, too.”

She was staring up at him-she knew it, and she forced herself to blink, to smile. ”Good,” she repeated, too-a little inanely.

Izzy did that to her. It was weird. When he was with her, as he'd been nonstop since yesterday, she got slightly more used to his presence. But after he'd been gone, even just for the few hours during which he'd driven Dan and Jenn back to her apartment?

Seeing him again gave her a real jolt.

It wasn't that he was the most handsome man she'd ever encountered, because he wasn't. He had a lot of uneven edges and sharp angles to his face-a certain cragginess. That was the best word for it, and even that wasn't quite right.

There was an honesty to him-a tactlessness, at times-and it was reflected in the expressions that he wore. His face was constantly in motion, and when he did become still, it was almost startling. And when he smiled...?

He was beyond beautiful.

Eden had spent some time last night, just watching him smiling in his sleep.