Part 17 (1/2)

I looked into the darkness of my room. I had left my door open so that I could hear

her, if she needed me. I had heard her move around restlessly. I looked at the alarm clock. Four-fifteen. Since I wasn't getting any rest, I might as well get up. Maybe an hour's workout would help, I hoped.

*Chapter 24*

'Alicia'

I heard the footsteps in the hall. I held my breath as Phil hesitated just outside the door before he went downstairs. In the silence of the house, I heard every step until he reached the bottom landing of the staircase.

”Oh, Alicia Marie, how in the world did you get yourself into this mess?”

And there was no other word to describe it other than 'mess.'

Geoff loved me. But, Geoff had never made me feel the way that Phil had in those few seconds that he had kissed me. Geoff had never made me want him. And I would be going into a marriage that lacked that s.e.xual tension. How could it work without that element? Did I want to spend the rest of my life like this?

Years ago, I had decided that I could easily live without s.e.x. And I knew that I still could. The problem was that those few seconds last night had touched a part of me that I hadn't known existed.

So, why hadn't I been able to want Geoff? Why had I always frozen in his arms? Was it simply that I had always had time to think with Geoff? Phil certainly hadn't given me any time to think about anything other than how good his lips felt on my mouth, and how much more I wanted from him. Or was it that the last few hours had been so emotionally charged that my normal resistance had simply evaporated? Life and death situations could do that to people, could make a person reach out for life. That could well be it. I both hoped that it was all there was to it and hoped that there was more to it.

I didn't know what to think. All I knew was that I was so confused that I could hardly think straight.

Well, that wasn't all I knew. My fingers lightly traced over my stomach. It would be a matter of months before the baby was big enough to be noticeable to other people. But, the child was a factor in my life I couldn't ignore.

Unfortunately, Hernandez had made his presence in my life also a factor.

Deciding that I wasn't going to get any more sleep, I got out of bed. Gathering my clothing for the day, I went to the bathroom to get a shower.

*Chapter 25*

'Alicia' I stood with my back to the cla.s.s, writing on the board. ”Okay, people, you know your a.s.signments. If there are no questions, you are dismissed.” Carrie McKinley, one of my brighter students, raised her hand. ”How is Mr.

Samson, Doc?” ”He'll be fine, Carrie. Thank you for asking.” ”I think that I'm speaking for all of us, Doc, when I say if there is anything that you need, we want you to call on us,” Carrie said strongly. ”We all wanted to offer you support after your house was destroyed, but none of us had the guts. But, you've got to know that any of us would be glad, honored, to help in any way that we can.”

I smiled at the collection of senior students. ”Thanks, guys. But, it would be far better for you if you all stay clear. You really don't want to be involved in this.”

”I don't know, Doc,” Hank Freedman, the captain of the college football team said, ”I think that I would rather enjoy throttling the man who hurt you the way that he did.”

I sat down on the well worn wooden stool which sat at the end of the blackboard. I didn't feel particularly well. Feeling faint was not my usual mode of operation, but I definitely felt faint for more than a pa.s.sing moment, then.

”Doc?” Carrie asked in concern. ”Are you all right?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

”Doc?” Carrie demanded.

”I'm fine, Carrie.”

”You don't look fine,” Hank said. ”You look like you were about to pa.s.s out.”

I looked at the students. ”Suppose that you tell me what you meant by that remark,

Hank.”

Hank looked as uncomfortable as I felt. ”Well, Doc ... you haven't read the

newspaper this morning, have you?”

I looked at him. ”No. Should I have?”

”It told all about LA and your-your attack,” Hank replied as if he were frightened of

saying the wrong thing. ”About your having killed those men who -- ” ”I see. Well, I suppose that it was only a matter of time until that came out. Did you happen to see under whose byline the story was run?”

”No,” Hank said quietly.

Carrie smiled, but the expression was clearly forced. ”I think that I speak for all of us in telling you that we all are behind you.”

”Just make sure that you stay far behind me. No one else needs to be hurt,” I warned them. ”There's been too many people hurt here as it is. Being around me tends to be dangerous, just now. While you may not care about the risk, I a.s.sure you that your parents will. So, do us all a favor, don't stand too close to me.

Please.”

The silence in the cla.s.sroom was nearly deafening.

”Now, are there any questions about the a.s.signment?”

When none were forthcoming, I told them, ”Then I'll let you go a few minutes early.”

The cla.s.s filed out of the room in silence.

I stretched out on the long sofa that lined one wall in my office. It wasn't particularly comfortable. But, I was asleep almost immediately. Unfortunately, it was a rest that didn't last very long. I was awake the moment that Mae Thompson stuck her head into the office.

”What is it, Mae?”

”Why don't you go home, Alicia?” the departmental secretary asked in concern. ”You look wasted.”

”I'd love to. Unfortunately, I have a meeting with Harry in about twenty minutes to discuss the departmental budget for next year.”