Part 9 (1/2)
PATIENCE.
Father Bernard.--His patience was such as no circ.u.mstances, however offensive, could subdue. One day he presented a pet.i.tion in favour of an unfortunate person, to a n.o.bleman in place; the latter being of a hasty temper, flew into a violent pa.s.sion, said many injurious things of the person for whom the priest interested himself. Father Bernard, however, still persisted in his request; and the n.o.bleman was at last so irritated, that he gave him a box on the ear. Bernard immediately fell at his feet, and presenting the other, said, ”Give me a blow on this also, my lord, and grant me my pet.i.tion.” The n.o.bleman was so affected by this humility, that he granted his request.
Philip, the second King of Spain, had once spent several hours of the night in writing a long letter to the Pope, and having finished it, gave it to his secretary to fold it up and seal it. The secretary was half asleep, and instead of shaking the sand-bottle over it in order to dry it, he emptied that which contained the ink by mistake, so that all the ink ran out upon the letter and completely spoiled it; perceiving the accident, he was ready to drop with confusion, upon which the King quietly said: ”Well, give me another sheet of paper;” and then began to write the letter over again with great tranquillity.
POETS.
An Italian poet presented some verses to the Pope, who had not gone far before he met with a line too short in quant.i.ty, which he remarked upon.
The poet submissively entreated his holiness to read on, and he would probably meet with a line that was a syllable too long, so that the account would soon be balanced!
A certain Italian having written a book on the Art of making gold, dedicated it to Pope Leo X., in hopes of a good reward. His holiness finding the man constantly followed him, at length gave him a large empty purse, saying, ”Sir, since you know how to make gold, you can have no need of anything but a purse to put it in.”
POLITENESS.
A Polite Mayor.--At the time when Queen Elizabeth was making one of her progresses through the kingdom, a mayor of Coventry, attended by a large cavalcade, went out to meet her Majesty, and usher her into the city with due formality. On their return they pa.s.sed through a wide brook, when Mr.
Mayor's horse several times attempted to drink, and each time his wors.h.i.+p checked him; which the Queen observing, called out to him, ”Mr. Mayor, let your horse drink, Mr. Mayor;” but the magistrate, bowing very low, modestly answered, ”Nay, nay, may it please your Majesty's horse to drink first.”
A French Mayor.--A mayor of a small village in France, having occasion to give a pa.s.sport to a distinguished personage in his neighbourhood who was blind of one eye, was in great embarra.s.sment on coming to the description of his person. Fearful of offending the great man, he adopted the following ingenious expedient of avoiding the mention of his deformity, and wrote ”Black eyes--one of which is absent.”
Sir Wm. Gooch being engaged in conversation with a gentleman in a street of the city of Williamsburgh, returned the salute of a negro, who was pa.s.sing by about his master's business. ”Sir William,” said the gentleman, ”do you descend so far as to salute a slave?”--”Why, yes,” replied the governor; ”I cannot suffer a man of his condition to exceed me in good manners.”
PRESENCE OF MIND.
The Marquis St. Andre applied to Louvois, the war-minister of Louis XIV., for a place then vacant. Louvois having received some complaints against the marquis, refused to comply. The n.o.bleman, somewhat nettled, said, rather hastily, ”If I were to enter again into the service, I know what I would do.”--”And pray what would you do?” inquired the minister in a furious tone. St. Andre recollected himself, and had the presence of mind to say, ”I would take care to behave in such a manner, that your excellency should have nothing to reproach me with.” Louvois, agreeably surprised at this reply, immediately granted his request.
Carving.--An accomplished gentleman, when carving a tough goose, had the misfortune to send it entirely out of the dish, and into the lap of the lady next to him; on which he very coolly looked her full in the face, and with admirable gravity and calmness, said, ”Madam, may I trouble you for that goose.” In a case like this, a person must, necessarily, suffer so much, and be such an object of compa.s.sion to the company, that the kindest thing he can do is to appear as unmoved as possible.
Lord Peterborough was once taken by the mob for the duke of Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them), and being about to be roughly treated by these friends to summary justice, he told them, ”Gentlemen, I can convince you, by two reasons, that I am not the duke of Marlborough. In the first place, I have only five guineas in my pocket; and, in the second, they are heartily at your service.” So throwing his purse amongst them, he got out of their hands, with loud huzzas and acclamations.
Fouche.--Napoleon sent for Fouche one day, in a great rage, told him that he was a fool, and not fit to be at the head of the police, as he was quite ignorant of what was pa.s.sing. ”Pardon me, Sire,” said Fouche; ”I know that your Majesty has my dismissal ready signed in your pocket.” Napoleon changed his mind, and kept his Minister.
Vendean Servant.--An unexampled instance of self-devotion and presence of mind was manifested by a maidservant, during the war in La Vendee. ”The wife of Lepinai, a general in the Vendean army, was imprisoned at Nantes, and attended by a young girl, a native of Chatellerault, so faithfully attached to the service of her mistress that she had followed her to prison. One day the soldiers arrived to summon the prisoners who were destined to death: this faithful girl heard Madame Lepinai called, who had but an instant before retired to her chamber. Glad of the opportunity of saving the life of her beloved mistress, she presented herself, and answered to the name. The affectionate creature was instantly led away with the other prisoners, and precipitated among the waves of the Loire, in place of Madame Lepinai.”
The Gendarmes and the Priest.--During the Revolution a priest took refuge in the house of a farmer. Some gendarmes having heard of it came one evening to the house. The whole family were gathered round the hearth, and among them was the priest, disguised as a servant. When the soldiers entered every one grew pale; they asked the farmer if there was not a priest concealed in the house. ”Gentlemen,” returned he, without losing his presence of mind, ”you see very well there is no priest here; but one might conceal himself in the house without my knowledge; so I will not prevent you from doing your duty; search the house from cellar to garret.” Then he said to the priest, ”I say, Jacques, take your lantern and show these gentlemen everywhere; let them see every corner of the farm.” The gendarmes made a minute inspection of the house, uttering many imprecations and many menaces against the priest, promising themselves to pay him well for the trouble he had cost them, if they succeeded in discovering him. Seeing their search was useless, they prepared to leave. As they were going the farmer said, ”Pray gentlemen, remember the boy.” They gave the disguised priest a small coin, and thanking him for his civility took their leave.