Chapter 30 (2/2)

Qiao Li said, “Look, isn’t she growing to look similar to you when you were younger? Her eyes are like her father’s.” Feng Ning nodded with vigor, and her heart was enveloped in ecstasy. She had such a cute daughter, her’s and Long San’s child, that she wasn’t afraid of becoming a pig. She wanted to take her daughter, and properly pa.s.s her days with Long San.

Full of joy and expectations, she turned around and quickly called to Long San, “Long San, look, it’s our daughter, she’s very adorable, right?” However Long San’s reaction completely went against her antic.i.p.ations. He was neither happy, excited, surprised, nor angry; he was only expressionlessly watching the entire thing.

A smile stiffened on Feng Ning’s face, and her hands were already stretched out mid-air ready to hand Bao’er over to be carried, but she was stopped by Long San’s reaction. She turned her head to look at Bao’er, then turned again to look at Long San. She stared into Long San’s eyes, and there were complex emotions there. She wasn’t able to read his look, and didn’t understand it. She shook her head, wanted to open her mouth to ask, but was unable to make a sound, and found that she didn’t dare to.

Her mind suddenly flashed to that night where Long San had said some things, he said, “That incident hasn’t been confirmed. Since it hasn’t been confirmed yet, speaking about it would be useless.”

Feng Ning suddenly felt like the blood in her body was about to freeze, so cold that she was trembling. She secretly gave birth to a child, found a reason to leave the child at the Feng family, and made herself look like a person who had nothing happen while returning to the Long Manor. No one at Long Manor should’ve known she was pregnant, otherwise they would have already taken that situation out as evidence. Therefore, the greatest possibility could only be…

Feng Ning used her hand to cover her mouth. She didn’t dare believe it, she didn’t dare to believe it one bit.

She deceived both parties; she concealed the truth from Long Manor, and lied to the Feng family. However paper can’t cover fire*, and there was bound to be a bit of news that leaked out. That’s why Long San said that the incident hadn’t been confirmed yet, but in reality there was a bit of suspicion in everyone’s heart. So that’s why they didn’t like her. She was the red apricot tree that leaned over the garden wall**, and she stole their things, robbed their valuables… Feng Ning looked at Long San’s eyes, and the entire time she watched them she felt like she couldn’t breathe. So it was actually like that, it was really actually like that!

*The truth can’t be concealed.

**A wife having an illicit lover.

How could he let it go? Any man in the world wouldn’t be able to let it go. Even if they were to get along again now, what use was it? What use was it even if she were to make him like her again?

Cold despair filled Feng Ning’s heart. She really liked him. She liked the gentle voice he used when he spoke, liked the way he dealt with things magnanimously and open-mindedly, liked his clear and bright smile, and liked his helpless expression; she wanted to be with him, and wanted to pa.s.s the days with him.

Feng Ning could no longer endure it, and silently rushed out of the hall. In one breath, she rushed into her own little courtyard, ran into the room, and threw herself onto the bed crying very loudly.

She hated herself, and hated everything that she had done. She hated her infidelity, and hated her vicious heart. She also hated herself for liking Long San. If it wasn’t for that, she wouldn’t be in such pain. She also hated that their hearts shared a tacit understanding; if it wasn’t for her looking at him and understanding what had happened, she would also not find out in such a penetrating way that she was a wicked wife.

How she hated, so hated!

Now, not even mentioning the Long family, even her father and mother must know how terrible she is. They also must definitely be thoroughly disappointed. She lost everyone’s trust and affection. What exactly did she mess herself up until this point for?

Feng Ning’s mind was entirely blank, and she could only loudly ‘wawa’ cry. She would no longer have a shoulder to rely on. That unconfirmed matter was testified to by her maternal family, and was confirmed right in front of her face.

She no longer had any face to ask Long San not to abandon her. He will no longer smile at her, and will no longer look at her with such gentleness. She was a bad woman, a completely bad, bad woman.

Feng Ning cried until she was out of breath, cried until her guts and liver were cut up*, and cried until the world was colorless. In this small room, she was the only one there, alone, venting out her emotions.

*Broken-hearted.

Feng Ning didn’t know how long she cried for, and also couldn’t cry anymore. She laid in bed in a daze, and her mind was empty. Chaotically, she only felt both grief and despair, and allowed fear to tightly constrict the arteries in her heart.

From outside the door came knocking. Feng Ning didn’t move. She didn’t want to see anyone. After a while, the knocking came again, and this time she could hear her mother’s voice outside asking, “Is she inside?” Then it was Xiao Qing’s voice replying, “Yes.”

Feng Ning heard her mother send Xiao Qing away, and also heard her softly say to her father, “Leave this alone, let me talk to her.” Feng Ning sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Her desolate heart could be counted as finally having a bit of comfort. Yu mama* once said that her parents and her were close. Feng Ning thought what she said must be right. Seeing as there was now such a scandal, there could only be her father and mother who would care about her, and would come visit her.

*Term for older and authoritative maids.

The person outside knocked on the door again. Qiao Li’s voice sounded, “Feng Feng ah, it’s mother, don’t cry. First, don’t be sad. You’re sick, and there are a lot of things you don’t remember, so don’t worry. Open the door, and let mother look at you. Mother will accompany you to chat a bit, alright?”

Feng Ning wiped her face, and very slowly walked over to open the door. Her heart felt touched, felt wronged, but mostly felt ashamed and guilty. She timidly called out, “Mother…”

Qiao Li nodded her head, and pushed her into the room, “Let’s enter the room and then talk.”

The mother and daughter pair went into the room, and Feng Ning moved a chair to Qiao Li. Just as she was thinking about how to open her mouth, as she lifted her head, Qiao Li unexpectedly sent a slap over, directly hitting Feng Ning’s face, making it crooked, and her cheeks felt a scorching pain. Her brain went dull, and she heard Qiao Li ferociously cursing, “You shameless thing!”

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