Part 24 (1/2)
She was vaguely aware of Hugh strapping the baby into her seat, and knew that the child was fussing again and had to be fed. But she buckled her seat belt and waited without looking back at the priest, waited until Hugh backed around, waited until he had returned to the street and driven out of sight of the church. Then she bent over and began to weep.
Chapter 19.
Hugh had no idea what to do. But he couldn't just drive, with Dana crying in the front seat and the baby crying in the back. And there wasn't a Dunkin' Donuts or McDonald's in sight. So he pulled into the parking lot of an office building, found a spot under the shade of an oak, and let the car idle.
He touched Dana's arm. When she didn't pull away, he rubbed her shoulder. He didn't speak. There was really nothing to say. He had hoped for more by way of answers from this trip. But if he was disappointed, she had to be feeling worse. So he sat, lightly ma.s.saging her neck to let her know he was there.
When the weeping finally slowed to hiccoughs, he left the driver's seat, unbuckled the baby from the back, and gave her to Dana, who silently pushed up her top and let the baby nurse. The silence was instant.
Hugh drank some water from the bottle in his cup holder, and offered it to Dana. She took the bottle, drank, then closed her eyes and continued to let Lizzie nurse.
He didn't say anything until she s.h.i.+fted Lizzie from her breast to her shoulder.
”Are you okay?” he asked then.
She shook her head no. ”Was that a help? Do we have any answers?”
”We do know he's your father.”
She put her cheek to the baby's head and continued to rub her tiny back.
”And we know that he has no African-American heritage,” he added.
”Do you believe him?”
”His story was pretty convincing.”
Dana continued rubbing Lizzie's back until a tiny bubble came up. Then she wiped the baby's mouth with her bib, and put her to the other breast. ”Was it a little too convincing?”
”You mean, designed to preclude doubt?” Hugh had considered that. ”But he didn't know we were coming. Not many people can think on their feet that way.”
”An incorrigible liar could.”
”Do you think he's that?”
Dana raised discouraged eyes to his. ”I don't know what to think. I didn't expect a priest. I didn't expect a man who would imply that he loved my mother, or one who would run for a picture of his daughter to show me how much she and I look alike. I didn't expect he would want to stay in touch.”
”But all that is good, isn't it?” Hugh wouldn't mind telling his family that Dana's father was a priest. It would go a long way toward shutting them up.
Dana sighed wearily. ”There's so much going on right now-the baby, us, my grandmother. She won't welcome sharing me with the man she feels hurt her daughter. And we don't have any answers, Hugh. Look at Lizzie. If she didn't get that skin from my father, where's it from?”
Ellie Jo, Hugh guessed. ”We'll figure it out.”
”How?”
”I don't know, but we will. Anyway, you must be hungry. Want to stop somewhere for lunch?”
”I'm not comfortable staying in Albany,” she said.
”Are you hungry, though?”
”Probably.”
Gently, he prodded. ”Is that a yes or a no?”
”I'm not hungry, but I know I have to eat to keep producing milk.”
”If you want to stop nursing, stop. I'm fine with formula.”
Her eyes flew to his. ”I want to nurse. What I meant was that I know my responsibility even if he didn't. If you really loved someone, wouldn't you hunger for news? Wouldn't you try and find out how she was and what she was doing?”
”I would,” Hugh said. ”It's called fighting for what you want.”
”That's right,” Dana replied in a burst of angst. ”He didn't fight. He just gave up-turned off-closed up!”
”Feels kind of like what you're doing,” Hugh remarked.
”Me?”
He softened the accusation by accepting blame. ”I hurt you. I'm sorry for that. But your response has been to shut me out. I know that you loved me before, Dee. Where did that love go?”
Mute, she stared at him.
”What Father Jack said back there about not pining over a relations.h.i.+p that wasn't meant to be?” Hugh continued. ”Is that how you feel about us, that we weren't meant to be?” When she didn't answer, he went on. ”Because if you do, I disagree. This is a period of adjustment. That's all.”
”Lizzie's skin isn't going to suddenly become white.”
”Obviously,” he said, ”but that doesn't mean we have to be hung up on her color. You accuse me of being upset about it. 'Upset' isn't the right word. I'd like to know where it's from. Is that asking so much?”
”In that I have no idea where it's from, yes. In that I'm struggling to figure out who I am, yes. In that I've just gone through an emotional wringer and don't want to talk about this right now, yes!” Taking the baby from her breast, she propped her on her thigh.
When she said nothing more, he offered a quiet ”There you go again, shutting me out.”
”I'm struggling with this, Hugh.”
”Okay.” He backed off. ”Okay. Let's think about lunch. One thing at a time.”
And that was how they took it. When Dana finished burping Lizzie, he buckled her back into her seat. They got burgers and fries at a drive-through, and ate as they drove. By the time they hit the highway, Dana had closed her eyes.
Hugh drove on in silence. He was feeling completely useless when his cell phone rang. It was his secretary, wanting to patch through a call from Daniel Drummond. Hugh's spirits revived.
Daniel Drummond was a big-name Boston lawyer with an ego to match. He claimed to be the model for at least one lead character on every TV legal series with a local setting, and he certainly had the looks, the skill, and the flair. He was known for flamboyance, and was arrogant to a fault.
Hugh and he had worked together once, representing clients in a complex case. They had never opposed each other before.
”How are you, Hugh?” Daniel asked in a booming voice.