Part 26 (1/2)
”Yes, my lord, I intend to search after my father; and I trust that, by husbanding my unexpected resources, I shall now be able.”
”You have the credit, in the fas.h.i.+onable world, of possessing a large fortune.”
”That is not my fault, my lord: it is through Major Carbonnell's mistake that the world is deceived. Still I must acknowledge myself so far partic.i.p.ator, that I have never contradicted the report.”
”Meaning, I presume, by some good match, to reap the advantage of the supposition.”
”Not so, my lord, I a.s.sure you. People may deceive themselves, but I will not deceive them.”
”Nor undeceive them, Mr Newland?”
”Undeceive them I will not; nay, if I did make the attempt, I should not be believed. They never would believe it possible that I could have lived so long with your relative, without having had a large supply of money. They might believe that I had run through my money, but not that I never had any.”
”There is a knowledge of the world in that remark,” replied his lords.h.i.+p; ”but I interrupted you, so proceed.”
”I mean to observe, my lord, and you, by your knowledge of my previous history, can best judge how far I am warranted in saying so, that I have as yet steered the middle course between that which is dishonest and honest. If the world deceives itself, you would say that, in strict honesty, I ought to undeceive it. So I would, my lord, if it were not for my peculiar situation; but at the same time I _never_ will, if possible, be guilty of direct deceit; that is to say, I would not take advantage of my supposed wealth, to marry a young person of large fortune. I would state myself a beggar, and gain her affections as a beggar. A woman can have little confidence in a man who deceives her before marriage.”
”Your secret will always be safe with me, Mr Newland; you have a right to demand it. I am glad to hear the sentiments which you have expressed; they are not founded, perhaps, upon the strictest code of morality; but there are many who profess more who do not act up to so much. Still, I wish you would think in what way I may be able to serve you, for your life at present is useless and unprofitable, and may tend to warp still more, ideas which are not quite so strict as they ought to be.”
”My lord, I have but one object in allowing the world to continue in their error relative to my means, which is, that it procures for me an entrance into that society in which I have a moral conviction that I shall find my father. I have but one pursuit, one end to attain, which is, to succeed in that search. I return you a thousand thanks for your kind expressions and good will; but I cannot, at present, avail myself of them. I beg your lords.h.i.+p's pardon, but did you ever meet the lady with the ear-rings?”
Lord Windermear smiled. ”Really, Mr Newland, you are a very strange person; not content with finding out your own parents, you must also be searching after other people's; not that I do not commend your conduct in this instance; but I'm afraid, in running after shadows, you are too indifferent to the substance.”
”Ah, my lord! it is very well for you to argue who have had a father and mother, and never felt the want of them; but if you knew how my heart yearns after my parents, you would not be surprised at my perseverance.”
”I am surprised at nothing in this world, Mr Newland; everyone pursues happiness in his own way; your happiness appears to be centred in one feeling, and you are only acting as the world does in general; but recollect that the search after happiness ends in disappointment.”
”I grant it but too often does, my lord; but there is pleasure in the chase,” replied I.
”Well, go, and may you prosper. All I can say is this, Mr Newland; do not have that false pride not to apply to me when you need a.s.sistance.
Recollect, it is much better to be under an obligation, if such you will consider it, than to do that which is wrong; and that it is a very false pride which would blush to accept a favour, and yet not blush to do what it ought to be ashamed of. Promise me, Mr Newland, that upon any reverse or exigence, you will apply to me.”
”I candidly acknowledge to your lords.h.i.+p, that I would rather be under an obligation to anyone but you; and I trust you will clearly appreciate my feelings. I have taken the liberty of refunding the one thousand pounds you were so kind as to place at my disposal as a loan. At the same time I will promise, that, if at any time I should require your a.s.sistance, I will again request leave to become your debtor.” I rose again to depart.
”Farewell, Newland; when I thought you had behaved ill, and I offered to better you, you only demanded my good opinion; you have it, and have it so firmly, that it will not easily be shaken.” His lords.h.i.+p then shook hands with me, and I took my leave.
On my return I found Emmanuel, the money-lender, who had accompanied Timothy, fancying that I was in want of more a.s.sistance, and but too willing to give it. His surprise was very great when I told him that I wished to repay the money I had borrowed.
”Vell, dis is very strange! I have lent my monish a tousand times, and never once they did offer it me back. Vell, I will take it, sar.”
”But how much must I give you, Mr Emmanuel, for the ten days' loan?”
”How moch--vy you remember, you vill give de bond money--de fifteen hundred.”
”What! five hundred pounds interest for ten days, Mr Emmanuel; no, no, that's rather too bad. I will, if you please, pay you back eleven hundred pounds, and that I think is very handsome.”
”I don't want my monish, my good sar. I lend you one tousand pounds, on de condition that you pay me fifteen hundred when you come into your properties, which will be in very short time. You send for me, and tell me you vish to pay back de monish directly; I never refuse monish--if you wish to pay, I will take, but I will not take von farding less dan de monish on de bond.”
”Very well, Mr Emmanuel, just as you please; I offer you your money back, in presence of my servant, and one hundred pounds for the loan of it for ten days. Refuse it if you choose, but I earnestly recommend you to take it.”