Part 46 (1/2)

Dean turned Kara down. Then...what? He changed his mind? Or maybe she has something on him? Distractedly, I thank Dani for apology. She seems relieved. We're never going to be friends, but I'm glad she wanted to clear the air. It doesn't make me feel any better, but it does give me some things to think about.

My talk with Dani has me reevaluating my relations.h.i.+p with Johnny, and my relations.h.i.+p with Dean. I don't want to compare the two, but I can't help it. And I did fall for both of them, but now I realize that I care deeply for one-and I'm in love with the other. They both turned me inside out, they both betrayed me. I was expecting one, but not the other. Finding out Johnny had cheated on me was a terrible blow. But it didn't make my world fall on its a.s.s. Maybe because I always expected to get burned by him. With Dean...I told him things that I've never shared with anyone other than Heather, and I felt completely safe in doing so. Dean never seemed to judge. Johnny wouldn't have, either-I know that. I don't know why I always held a part of myself back with him. I guess I was afraid of getting hurt. But it happened anyway, didn't it? I never trusted Johnny-but I trusted Dean from the start.

d.a.m.n it, I still trust him! He would never hurt me, and he would never be anyone's puppet. I don't care what Kara said, or her stupid pictures. I, of all people, should know that sometimes pictures don't tell the whole truth. Maybe those pics were old, or it was all a set-up. Something!

G.o.d, I wish Dean would talk to me.

Chapter 49.

Nick catches me before Government. He looks uneasy, so when he asks if we can talk, I almost want to say no. I don't need any more revelations. Weirdly, I have this thought in my head that if our genders were reversed, he'd be telling me he found out he was pregnant, and that the baby was mine. Except he'd be pretty far along by now-almost four months, by my calculation. I did know a girl whose mother didn't know she was pregnant until she was almost seven months along. I guess baby movements can also be mistaken for gas? That's a scary thought.

Anyway, Nick is talking to me.

”You heard about that thing with Larrabee, right?” Nick asks in a low voice, pulling me to the side in the hallway.

”Yeah, who hasn't?” I hug my books to my chest, and smile at Sara who gives us a curious look before she walks into cla.s.s.

He nods, looking grim. ”Well, Liddell's been working with the cops, right, and all the football players have to give their alibis for that night. We're all sticking together-no one's going to rat on the others, but a lot is at stake here.”

”I know.” I bite my lip nervously. ”Dean's not really talking to me right now, but...I guess you know he was with me on Sat.u.r.day?”

”Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.” Nick leans against the wall, and runs his hand through his hair nervously. ”Listen-he'll kill me if he finds out I'm telling you this, but his a.s.s is on the line right now.”

”What do you mean?” I ask sharply. ”If he needs an alibi, I'll back him up. I'll talk to Aunt Jo-I mean Princ.i.p.al Liddell.”

”Actually, Dean already talked to her. He said he was at home that night. Which would have been fine.” Nick sighs, shaking his head. ”But then dumba.s.s Ryan-who knew you guys were together, and knew Dean didn't want you involved-decided to go to Liddell and say that Dean was with him and Grayson all night on a camping trip. So, now, Liddell knows Dean was lying.”

”Oh, G.o.d.” The back of my head hits the wall. ”Ryan's such an idiot!”

”Yeah,” Nick agrees emphatically. ”Dean's in a s.h.i.+tload of trouble 'cause he won't say where he really was. Liddell knows he wasn't at Larrabee that night, but she's using this to get him to roll over on the other guys. He won't give them up, but he won't say where he was, either. He's about to lose everything, Juliet.”

I close my eyes, fighting back a wave of emotions. ”Why doesn't he just tell her the truth?”

”He's trying to protect you.”

My eyes pop back open. ”I doubt that,” I say, my words laced with bitterness.

Nick stares at the ground for a moment, deliberating. When he finally looks up, his hazel eyes are full of worry. ”Look-I'm not supposed to say anything...there's a lot of s.h.i.+t going on right now, and I don't blame you for being p.i.s.sed. But this isn't right. He's gonna go down for this. I just thought you should know.”

I nod in acknowledgement. ”Thanks, Nick.” When he smiles cautiously, I reach out to pat his arm. ”You're a good guy.”

He laughs deprecatingly. ”I'm trying.”

He goes into cla.s.s, and I start running down the hall.

Man, I'm missing a lot of cla.s.ses lately.

”You know I have to tell your parents about this.”

I meet Aunt Jo's dragon eyes with an effort. ”I know.”

Behind her ma.s.sive walnut desk, she shakes her head at me. ”I don't understand, Juliet. I thought you were dating Johnny Parker?”

I rub the back of my head, considering my responses. I decide to go for the simplest one: ”I get around.”

That earns me a disgusted tsk. I almost want to remind her that she was the one who suggested I dump Johnny for Dean my first day at Leclare. But she makes it clear that dating him is perfectly acceptable-having s.e.x with him is not.

”Your grandmother will be so disappointed,” Aunt Jo continues. ”She expected you to conduct yourself with the highest of morals, and to have respect for yourself. You realize your behavior reflects on her, as she is the one covering your tuition...”

Oh, please. Grandma Deems has been married, like, fifty time-once to a guy half her age. And she's worried about my conduct? I slept with one guy on a boat, not a boatful of guys. Does it make it more cla.s.sy if it's on a yacht?

I can feel my eyes getting gla.s.sy. Why is Aunt Jo lecturing me about Africanized bees? I must've missed a whole section zoning out.

”-may reconsider her decision to cover your college tuition as well,” she says, her brows lowering heavily over her eyes.

”I know,” I say, and stifle a sigh.

”I just want you to be certain of the consequences before you go on record,” Aunt Jo tells me, her expression grave. ”Is this your official statement, Juliet?”

”Thank you, Aunt Jo,” I say, acknowledging her implied offer to recant. ”What I just told you is the truth.”

Aunt Jo nods once. ”Alright, then. Thank you for coming by. I'll let you know if we need anything further.”

I haul myself out of the chair on shaky limbs. I feel like I need to lie down, or get some air. I definitely need fresh air. I make it to the door when Aunt Jo calls my name. When I look back at her, I'm surprised to see that her expression is considerably softer, making her look years younger.

”You must love him to come forward about this,” she says with a strange, wistful smile.

My own is forced, and somewhat grim. ”It's the right thing to do.”

I'm in the middle of yet another surprise quiz in Calc when I hear Dean being summoned to the office over the intercom. My pulse gallops out of control, and my concentration is suddenly shot. I stare blankly at my quiz, unseeing. What is he thinking right now? Will he be p.i.s.sed when he finds out what I've done? Well, that's just too d.a.m.n bad. d.a.m.n it, I'm never going to figure out the area between the curves now...y equals whaaat?

I am going to fail this quiz.

”So how was your date with Bobo?”

Tanya sighs, leaning against the locker next to mine. ”It was exceptional,” she says dreamily. ”I may be in love.”

”Congratulations. Where did he take you?” Grimacing, I pull Tanya's errant curls out of my locker before I shut the door. I swear one bites me.

She doesn't even notice. Her eyes are sparkling as she recounts every minute detail of her time with Bobo-including what they both wore, and everything they ordered for dinner. I've never heard of chocolate lasagna before, but it sounds weirdly delicious.

I am highly entertained by Tanya's enthusiasm-even smiling genuinely, for the first time in days. Then I spot Dean through the crowded hall, and everything else fades away.