Part 9 (1/2)

”Thanks. I use the stairs a lot,” I reply modestly. Then I sigh heavily and lean against the wall, closing my eyes.

I sense him settle next to me. ”Rough day?”

”You could say that.” I open my eyes and glance over at him. ”You're girlfriend's a b.i.t.c.h, by the way.”

Ben grins, showing off cute little dimples. ”This is true. She's also a huge pain in the a.s.s. But she's hot, and every other night, she rides me like a Harley on a b.u.mpy road.”

I immediately feel the need to dry heave.

”You're picturing it right now, aren't you?”

”Oh, my G.o.d, yes, and it's so gross.” I grimace. ”Thank you for that mental image.”

”Anytime.”

The most annoying thing about Ben Parrish is Arianna. Otherwise, we get along well enough. He's a smart a.s.s who has more than a pa.s.sing resemblance to a blonde WB actor-which he cultivates by adopting the guy's mannerisms and style. It's probably a good idea he hangs out with big tough football players because I can see him getting his a.s.s beat on a regular basis.

Ben fidgets next to me. He pulls a cigarette out of his pants pocket, and stares at it like he wants to eat it.

I'm about to ask him what the h.e.l.l I've ever done to Arianna to make her hate me so much, when he glances up and spots someone.

”Yo, Youngblood!” he calls, and my heart sinks. ”Let me borrow your Zippo!” He holds up a hand.

Reluctantly, I look over to see Dean and Sloane approaching. Dean pulls out a silver lighter from his front pants pocket and wings it at Ben, who catches it with a big flourish.

”Gotta take a smoke break,” Ben says to me. ”Wanna go with?”

”No, I'll see you inside. Oh, and thanks.”

”Yeah. Try to stay out of trouble while I'm gone.” He gives me a friendly tap on the shoulder. ”I'll see you inside.”

I watch as he runs down the hall, pausing only to take a swing at Dean-who absently moves out of the way with barely a glance in his friend's direction. Boys.

Dean and Sloane are walking towards me, and I marvel at how good they look together, both of them tall, beautiful, and exotic. I wonder what it would be like to be the prettiest girl in school? I would ask Dean, but I'm fairly sure he wouldn't have a sense of humor about it.

I sneak a glance at him, and he returns my look hard. Sloane looks right through me, but I prefer her indifference to the other girls' catty glares. I abruptly turn and hurry inside the cla.s.sroom.

The desks are arranged in a U-shaped pattern, which probably means this teacher is going to be the hands-on type. My suspicion is confirmed when he practically ambushes me at the door. Mr. Shannon looks to be in his thirties, with curly red-gray hair and a perfectly round belly under his colorful Hawaiian s.h.i.+rt. I want to rub it for good luck, but I'm afraid he'll get the wrong impression.

”Welcome, Juliet,” Mr. Shannon says jovially. We're currently working on the 'Scarlet Letter.' I think I have another copy at my desk somewhere. Have you read it before? And having seen the movie doesn't count.”

I smile. ”Wait, is that the one about the hooker with a heart of gold?”

”No, dear, that was 'Pretty Woman.'”

”Oh, that's right,” I say, following him to his desk up front. ”I get my trashy women confused, sometimes.”

”So do I,” he says wistfully. Then he startles, and looks over at me. ”You didn't just hear me say that.”

”I've already stricken it from my memory,” I say with a small laugh.

”Hm.” Mr. Shannon reaches into a drawer in his desk, and hands me a brand new paperback copy of ”The Scarlet Letter.” He gives me a curious look. ”Do you think Hester was trashy, then?”

”She didn't do herself any favors, but I think the story was more about judgmental b.u.t.theads, and the failings of man then about adultery.”

Mr. Shannon looks intrigued, even though I'm just talking out my a.s.s. ”Do tell,” he says.

”Well,” I say, toying with the cover of the book. ”First you have that old guy, Chillingworth. Instead of moving on and finding his purpose as the town's physician, he lets himself become consumed with bitterness and revenge. Maybe he should have put more effort into finding a wife near his own age than obsessing over one who was way too young for him, anyway. Then you have Dimmesdale-who would rather self-pity himself to death, rather than stand up for the woman he loves. If he had just gotten over himself, and grabbed Hester-they could have booked it to Bermuda, and been sipping Mai Tais on the beach with their daughter. But, no. Those guys were just selfish cowards-they let Hester take the fall for their weaknesses, and rather than grow and learn from their experiences-like she did-they just...die. If I were Hester, I would have written them both off, and found myself a nice girl to settle down with.”

I trail off in my musings to discover Mr. Shannon is staring at me askance.

”Are you recently divorced?” he asks. ”Or do you, perhaps, know my ex-wife?”

My cheeks flush as I realize I've just made an idiot of myself in front of my AP Lit teacher. Great first impression. Wow, I am having a pimp first day.

He's still looking at me like I'm crazy. Quick-what do I do? Do I blame it on my low blood sugar? Or do I just play it off?

I decide to play it off. I give him a gangster chin nod, and a tight smile. Let him think I'm one of those militant feminists. Maybe he'll be too scared to call on me in cla.s.s.

Mr. Shannon smiles back, now with a twinkle in his eye. ”I have a feeling you'll make valuable contributions to our cla.s.s discussions, young lady. Now take a seat next to Mr. Youngblood over there.”

Reluctantly, I turn. Dean and Sloane are sitting at one end of the U. Both are staring at me. Dean, with an unreadable expression, and Sloane...she's looking at me like I'm a lizard who did an interesting trick.

There's an empty seat on the other side of Dean, so I trudge toward it. This is your fault, I think at him. You should have just let me eat.

I plop down at my desk with my usual grace, and I end up sitting on the bottom my hair. I hate when I do that. It yanks my head back, and several strands are torn out of my scalp. I glare at Dean.

I don't speak for the rest of the cla.s.s, but my stomach-it roars volumes. I don't even care.

After cla.s.s, Ben offers to give me a ride home since the other guys will be at football practice. I start to decline, knowing Arianna will be in the car as well-but then he points out how much it would p.i.s.s her off to have me there. So I agree, and he's right-she pouts in the pa.s.senger seat the whole way to my house, while I stare daggers at the back of her bleached blonde head. The only time she talks is when she sees my ”tiny gnome house.” She can't believe it wasn't designed with hobbits in mind.

Apparently, she can be funny. In a painful, makes-a-girl-want-to-kill-herself kind of way.

The good news is, I've officially survived my first day at Leclare, School for b.i.t.c.hes and Their Victims.

Chapter 9.

While I'm waiting for the fish sticks to heat up in the microwave, I turn my phone on, and look through my text messages. The ones from Johnny, I save for later, when I'm in bed with a quart of coffee ice cream, listening to angsty music. I'm surprised to see a couple of texts from Nick and Mack, asking if I want to hang out after practice today. I text them back regretfully with the news that I have to be at work pretty soon.

I don't bother to check Heather's messages, I just call her back. I give her a very edited recount of my day. She's annoyed at my vagueness, so I tell her about the Cherry Flavored Girl encounter. She makes weird monkey like sounds, and I can just imagine her jumping up and down and pounding on the ground with her fists. It occurs to me then that she might be drunk.

”Was she cute?”

”Who” I mumble, rudely crunching on a fish stick.

”Cherry Flavored Girl! And what are you eating, crinkle paper?”