Vol 1 Chapter 3 (1/2)

Chapter 03

The Meeting

Part One

Despite everything, I had come back to life, my depression deeper and

direr than Lake Baikal or the Mariana Trench from yesterday’s

confrontation

For the first tiht

and headed to the lively city It was such a brave and heroic act, it truly

deserved a shower of applause from the whole world I wanted to praise

myself

But everything was in vain

All that reo on like this!

Returning to my apartment, I holed up in my room and started

drinking to erase the painful thoughts Seated at the kotatsu, I tried

shouting, ”Sake! Bring

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35

more than an e, in

that six-mat room, it echoed in dreary misery

Several e around on top of the

kotatsu Increasingly irked by the ani from the room

next door, I rashly indulged in even more alcohol

My head spun terribly, and I grew dizzy

Just a littleafter just a little more

Thatpicked myself up after the previous day's low

spirits, I had decided to escape my hikikomori life as quickly as possible

That's when it hit me I'll find a part-time job today

Why not? If I couldn't begin a career, I could start with a part-time

job If I did that, my tide would shi+ft from ”hikikomori” to ”freeter”15

Both ter useless, but freeter sounded far healthier than

hikikoht away

I headed to the convenience store and bought a part-time

e home quickly, I started

seriously perusing the material

Which one? Which part-time job would suit me best?

I dismissed the idea of heavy labor After all, I wouldn't want

anything that wouldat

a convenience store made me recoil, too No way could I qualify for that

sort of customer-service job

Then… oh!

”Manga café, 700 yen per hour”

Welcome to the NHK

36

There was no mistake: This job suited me perfectly! There shouldn't

be too a café, after all—

and when I was bored, I could read ister It seemed like

a really si for me

With that in mind, I wrote up a resumé and triumphantly left my

apartment

The a café was in front of the subway station, behind a

McDonald's Heading there, I plodded and stoh a

residential area in the cool April air And as I walked through the city by

day for the first tiain was interfered with by

”them” The NHK interference operatives mocked me cruelly as I

walked, e

These were fierce interference measures

”Hey, look at that It's so gross”

”It's an unemployed hikikomori The worst kind”

”You should go back to your apartment This town is no place for

people like you”

The passing housewives, high school girls, and older women all

s each time I passed I turned completely pale

Oh, I want to go home

I wanted to go back to my dim, comfortable, six-mat, one-room

apartment, to sink into my warm bed, dose my eyes, and not have to

think of anything But I couldn't That would be no good After all, if I

did that, it would just go to their heads even more I must bear it This is a

battle in which I must do my best

In reality, I had some idea that this would happen I knew from the

start that there was no way they would leave an my

The Meeting

37

return to society That's why I couldn't lose Forcing myself to suppress

the anxiety that greith every step, I approached my destination at a

brisk pace

Finally, I reached Break Tia café

behind the station that would become my place of employment from

now on I resolved to work here every day, starting tomorrow

My escape from the hikikomori life was imminent

While it troubled me that I had become this anxious just from

walking around the city during the day, I probably just needed to get

used to it If I could become a freeter, my overabundance of neuroses

should disappear in moments

Yes, it was finally time

I had to be brave and take ed

open the door and entered the shop I visualized offering my resumé to

the girl at the register, announcing energetically, ”I heard you're hiring

part-time workers here”

I began to speak, but my sentence broke off, midstream

For behind the counter, where ashtrays, hot pots, and coffee makers

were lined up in an orderly fashi+on, a lone female employee sat in a chair,

reading a Her profile and the intent look in her eyes as she flipped

through a shoujoseen her

before

Actually, I had met her just the previous day

Standing before the register, the words ”part ti on my lips,

I felt a in her lap,

sensing me

Our eyes met

Welcome to the NHK

38

It was the young religious solicitor, Misaki

Unlike the day before, she was dressed in jeans styled like what other

young people wore She didn't have a recognizably religious aura

The second I recalled her true identity,at

ten tihts circulated wildly through

my brain

Why would a religious person work at a a café? Wouldn't that

violate soious precept? No, no, that's of no concern to me—

does she reh? If she did, that meant I was

completely ruined There couldn't be anyone where I worked who knew

my secret There was no way I could ever ith someone who

knew If she does remember, what should I do? I have to run! As this It a

reasonable and logical conclusion, for now, I should just run!

However, right as I began to turn tail, the religious girl called me

back Dropping her harsh expression, she looked at me, the same smile

of derision as the day before flitting across her face In a small voice, she

asked, ”Do you work part time here?”

Clearly, I could see the vast difference between how she questioned

me and the way she probably dealt with normal customers Evidently,

the girl had realized that I was the crazy hikikomori from yesterday

Cold sweat trickled down the back of my neck I wanted to run I

wanted to leave that place as quickly as possible

Even so, I had to answer her question and properly retract the words

I had spoken earlier As casually as possible, as utterly natural as

i

”Bi-bi”

”Soyou likebikes and stuff?”

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39

What the hell a?

”Oh yes, I really dolike bikes—motorbikes, that is You can fly

like the wind” A few of the custoan to pay

attention to ine! Well, what do you

think? Would you like to co with me some time?”

I'm done for!

”That isI mean, I've never actually ridden one before! Ha ha ha ha

ha ha! Okay, see you”

I couldn't leave the store quickly enough

On ht

beer and shochu

Let ht now

Except I won't die The weather is too nice Instead of dying, I'll just drink

a whole lot of alcohol to forget everything Just forget

AlcoholI'll drink alcohol

I tried shouting, ”Sake! Bring me more sake!” That itself, however, was

nothing more than an empty phrase spoken to myself—and in the dim

evening, in that six-mat room, it echoed in dreary misery I wanted to

cry

Everything was her fault Because of her, reat plan to escape my

hikikomori life had ended in miserable failure At that moment, I wished

for the power to bestow deadly curses That bitchthat bitch! G-GGoddammit!

I iht about then I was sure

that I'd becostock

Welcome to the NHK

40

”Boss, today, a crazy hikikomori came to the store”

”Huh, really, Misaki?”

”It see here part time But for God's

sake, he's a hikikomori Like, know your place!”

”Absolutely There's no way an une, hikikomori

college dropout could join society”

They were using me as the punch line for their sardonic comments

Argh, how can this be? It's hard to forgive No, I can't forgive them I need to

take e now! I swear I'll punish you

As a hikikomori, however, I couldn't think of any really effective

ways to get back at theive up momentarily and

think of so to make myself feel better I

wanted to forget the bad stuff and just think of good things

Speaking of fun things, there was still the NHK

Yeah, if I were feeling pain or suffering, I had merely to think of the

conspiracy that the NHK was engineering right beneath the surface If

I did that, I ht feel at least a little better

NHK, NHK

”I see! I understand!” I shouted ”That girl is a special operative for

the NHK!” I keptthese declarations loudly

Despite my earlier resolve, I didn't feel better at all

”Dammit,” I cried before I finished my beer and shochu

My head hurt, and the ani from my next door

neighbor's apart

Before I knew it, I had somehow ended up violently drunk My

ain, the future

held no hope whatsoever that I could detect I suspected that, at this

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41

rate, I was just plu

like an asshole

”That's it This is the end This is the end!” I chanted

And still, the anis echoed from the room next door In the

lyrics, words like ”love,” ”dreams,” ”romance,” and ”hope,” recurred

continuously—ironically For so lost my

optimism, it all sounded very much like mean-spirited sarcasm The

words racked e and self-pity

For one thing, this was the first night hbor had played anime

songs at such a loud volu the

day, but it was already the ht

Then, it occurred to ht this not be some new harassment

meant for me? Harassment toward me! Someone so pathetic and stupid

that he couldn't even become a freeter!

If so, I couldn't allow it I tried punching the wall There was no sign

that the songs would stop I kicked at the wall No reaction

How dare you

a fool of ret this

I drank, got even drunker, drinking to deaden my senses

I', and I'll show you! You're the ones at fault

Rising unsteadily fro like I was

about to fall on my ass, I stumbled to open the door

I tottered to roo

dong, ding dong, ding dong”

No answer

I tried punching the door

No answer The only sounds fros This

Welcome to the NHK

42

particular nu to Fancy Lala: ”I am Fancy Lala”

In er, blood rushed to my head

I twisted the doorknob The door wasn't locked, and I no longer

cared what ht happen

”Hey!” I shouted, losingopen the door, I

screamed, ”It's too loud!”

At that very second, I saw him A man sat at a computer desk in the

back of the roo

the surprising arrival of a visitor, he sloiveled around in his

spinning chair so he could look at me over his shoulder

He wascrying

Tears silently streamed down his cheeks

On top of that, and even more unbelievable, I knew exactly who he

was Speechless, I couldn't believe my eyes

Wiping his own eyes, he gazed athimself

forward, he stared into my face Finally, after a momentary silence, he

sta voice, ”Sa-Satou?”

There was no mistake It was Yamazaki

After four years, this was an incredibly unexpected reunion

Part Two

In high school, I had been in the literature club

Even so, that didn'tof that sort

Rather, during the new-member recruitment fair, an awfully cute

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43

upperclassman had invited me ”You there, join the literature club”

Without thinking, I had nodded There was really nothing else I

could have done Despite being a member of the nerdy literature club,

and despite being a year older than I was, the girl was as cute as a pop

idol

Unsurprisingly, having joined the club for such a stupid reason, I

ended up playing solitaire through every roup

free time, I played cards in the crowded office with the upperclassman

What in the hell e doing? Obviously, we could have been focusing

on other, s

Well, that doesn't matter at all anymore The past is the past

Anyway, it happened after school on one of those club days My

class the first-floor hallway that faced the

central courtyard Suddenly, she pointed at one of the corners of the