Part 35 (1/2)

Cam was his usual capable self in the morning. Over the next couple of days, he kept Gwen up to date with the ongoing nightmare of funeral arrangements and work and his mother's unceasing devotion to outward appearances. He arrived at End House late every night, worn out from soothing concerned clients and organising a hundred tiny details. 'Thank G.o.d you're here,' he said into her hair as they lay together. She knew that it was vaguely inappropriate, but a wild bubble of happiness accompanied her every move. She knew that they'd turned a corner. Cam had come to her for comfort. That had to mean something.

Gwen pushed the hair from out of her eyes and leaned over the baking dish once again. She felt like she'd been filling cannelloni for ever. The first three batches had mysteriously burned, while remaining uncooked on the inside. This one, the fourth attempt, was going to cook perfectly. Gwen didn't care if she had to open the oven every two minutes; they were not going to burn. She eyeballed the cannelloni and told them sternly, 'Not on my watch. Not again.'

'Knock knock.' Cam pushed open the door. 'Is this a bad time?'

'Not at all.' Gwen tried not to show how pleased she was to see him. The last thing Cam needed was more pressure in his life. 'Did you hear me talking to the cannelloni?'

'Little bit.'

Gwen hoped the fact that she was already flushed from cooking would hide her embarra.s.sment. 'Come on in.'

Cam unlaced his boots before stepping out of them. He wrinkled his nose as the smell of burnt pasta hit.

'I know, I know.' She frowned. 'Nothing is coming out right any more. I used to be such a good cook.' I think my oven has been hexed.

'What's going on?'

Gwen looked away. 'I'm just distracted.' Like she could tell Cam about phantasms and cursed appliances. He'd have her sectioned.

'Nothing to do with your weird witchy powers, then?'

'The weird powers that you don't believe in?'

'The very same.'

Gwen paused. 'No.'

'You're lying,' Cam said mildly. He crossed the room, stepping over Cat until he was very close to Gwen. She tried to take a step back, but felt the counter edge on her back.

'Gwen Harper. Tell me what is going on.' He ducked his head to look into her eyes. 'Please?'

It was the please that did it. Gwen side-stepped neatly away. 'I need to get back to my cannelloni.' She wasn't going to bring up Lily Thomas or Iris's journals or the people that still kept turning up at her back door asking for help she couldn't give or any of it. She wasn't going to be another burden, another problem for Cam to solve. His face was lined with fatigue and worry and grief. She put her hand out and touched his cheek. 'Was there something you needed?'

Cam shot out an arm and grabbed Gwen around the waist. 'You are leaving me with no choice.'

Gwen started to speak, but found herself unable to finish. Cam's lips were soft upon hers and her thought processes were momentarily derailed. She wanted, more than anything, to sink into him. The solid, rea.s.suring, wonderful-smelling bulk of him. Instead, she pulled herself together and pulled away. Cam's arms tightened around her, hauling her back. He kissed her again.

'No,' she said. 'I need to finish the pasta.'

'Sod the pasta.'

Gwen laughed and kissed him back.

'So, here's what's going to happen.' Cam tightened his arms around her. 'We're going to go upstairs and get naked and horizontal and very, very happy.'

Gwen felt the blush increase in intensity. In fact, she thought, her head was going to catch on fire any second.

'And, after that, when I've got you nice and relaxed, you're going to talk to me. You're going to tell me what is going on and I'm going to help you.'

Gwen opened her mouth to speak, realised she had no idea what to say, and closed it again.

Later, Gwen snuggled in close to Cam, breathing in the smell of him and enjoying the sensation as he stroked her hair.

'Shouldn't we have ”the talk”?'

'I already know about the birds and bees.' She heard the smile in his voice.

'Don't I know it,' Gwen said, snuggling closer. 'No. The one about our exes. Past relations.h.i.+ps.'

'No thanks.'

She lifted her head to look at him. 'I don't mean we have to have a blow-by-blow account.'

'Well, that's a relief,' Cam said, c.o.c.king an eyebrow.

Gwen bit him gently. 'I'm serious. Don't you think we should talk about the important events from the last thirteen years? The people who have been important to us.'

'No.'

'Really?' She struggled to a sitting position.

'I will answer any questions you have about my past loves...'

Gwen winced on the word 'loves'.

'But I have no desire to know about yours.'

'Oh.' Gwen tried not to be offended. 'Aren't you even a tiny bit curious?'

'No.' He paused. 'That's not entirely true. But here's the thing. I intellectually accept that we have been apart for a long time and that you will have had relations.h.i.+ps with other men. I accept that as a logical fact. I don't need details.'

Gwen was quiet, marvelling at his self-control. His self-possession. It was scary.

'I will say this, though.' Cam reached up and cupped her cheek with his palm. 'I've been living my life, thinking I'm reasonably happy and that this is as good as it gets, but now you're back I realise how wrong I was. It was a pale imitation of happiness. I haven't felt like this about anybody or anything else. Ever.'

'Oh.'

'Does that cover it?'

Gwen nodded, unable to speak.

'Good.' He patted the mattress. 'Now come here.'

Much later, after Gwen had dozed off and woken up and found Cam's arms still tightly wrapped around her and he'd moved and they'd begun all over again, Gwen stretched and climbed out of bed.

'Don't go.' Cam reached for her.