Part 32 (1/2)

'Did I see you at last year's?' Felicity asked Gwen. 'You look familiar.' She was smiling warmly and obviously trying to include Gwen in the conversation. Gwen tried to smile back. 'No. I've never been.' I've never been invited.

'You're not missing much,' Felicity said. 'Honestly, Cam, do you remember that one when we were ten or something? And my uncle hadn't realised you can't mix certain antibiotics with alcohol? My G.o.d, he puked everywhere. All over the buffet table, in the punch bowl, everywhere. I've never seen your mother go so white.'

Cam smiled. 'As I remember it, she was waving a ladle. I thought she was going to hit him over the head with it.'

Harry stood up and drained the last of his pint.

'You're not leaving already?' Cam said, looking up.

'I'm a very busy man.'

'No, you're not. What is it this time? a.s.sa.s.sin's Creed?' Cam addressed the others. 'Harry develops regular crushes on computer games.'

'I couldn't possibly say.' Harry raised a hand. 'See you later.'

'I can't believe you're blowing me off for a game,' Cam said.

'There's more to life than sitting in the pub with you,' Harry said, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

'Take that back,' Cam said.

'We'd better get going, too,' Jemima said. 'It was lovely to catch up, Cameron. You work too hard.' She gave Gwen a thin smile without any warmth. 'Nice to meet you, Jane.'

Felicity nudged her. 'Don't be a b.i.t.c.h.' She leaned over and kissed Cam on the cheek. 'She's always like this around you. Can't get over us not getting married.'

'You two were engaged?' Gwen felt as if the air in the room had suddenly disappeared.

'Back in primary school, perhaps.' Felicity laughed. 'But now I'm going to marry lovely, lovely Alex. He's a city boy, but he's a total sweetheart. Not a d.i.c.khead at all.'

Jemima was gathering her bag and coat. 'Your poor mother won't take that very well, will she, Cam? She's always adored Flick, hasn't she?'

'She'll survive,' Cam said, giving Jemima a cold stare.

Katie watched her dad sc.r.a.pe the windscreen of the car while her mum sat in the front seat, her mobile held up to her ear. It took them a couple of attempts to get out of the driveway, the wheels spinning on the icy ground, and Katie watched until the car was out of sight before collecting her supplies. In the past she would've loved her mum or dad to walk in and find her sprinkling herbs into bowls and lighting candles, but that was back then, back in what she now considered to be her childish phase. Back when she thought it was all a joke, something to wind her mum up. She'd enjoyed hiding stuff around her room, like her notebook with 'spells' written on the front, so that her mum would have a nasty shock if she went snooping. It would serve her right.

Katie wasn't playing any more.

After she'd read Imogen's cards, it was like a tap had been turned on; power just seemed to be running through her. She'd been sitting in geography, staring at the back of Luke's head, willing him to turn around and he had. It was like Gwen said: intention was everything. Intention had power.

Katie got down onto the floor and pulled out the bottom drawer of her bedside chest. There was a s.p.a.ce on the floor at the back and she retrieved the h.e.l.lo Kitty tin which contained her supplies. Nothing very incriminating, unless you knew what you were looking for and Katie was pretty certain that her mother knew nothing at all.

Getting Luke's hair had been the most difficult part. She'd walked past him so many times, trying to get up the nerve, had even pretended to pluck fluff off his jumper when she thought she saw a hair, but it turned out to be a long blonde one and definitely not his. In the end, she'd enlisted Imogen's help. She'd come up with a c.r.a.ppy story about wanting to put it into a silver locket to wear 'close to her heart'. Vomit. Imogen had accepted it, though, and in her confident, pretty way had simply tousled his hair as she'd walked past at lunchtime that same day, pretending that her hand was stuck in his hair gel and making everyone laugh.

Now she had a couple of brown hairs, a couple of inches long and the exact shade of Luke Taylor's beautiful fringe. At least she hoped so; she didn't want to end up with some random guy in love with her. Although that wouldn't be so bad. Any guy in love with her would be a huge step forward.

She dropped the hair into the mixing bowl, added the dried sage she'd got from the kitchen, and picked up the darning needle. This was it. The sticking point. Katie was not a fan of needles or blood. Or pain, for that matter. She told herself it was a test of her feelings. If she was willing to do this for Luke, then she would deserve him. Be worthy. And didn't they always go on about love and suffering in English cla.s.s? Maybe there was something in it.

After a couple of false attempts, where she succeeded in first lightly denting her finger pad and then sc.r.a.ping the first couple of layers of skin, Katie struck gold. Well, blood. Squeezing the drops out hurt more than she expected, the end of her finger throbbing, but then it was done. She sat back on her heels and lit a match, watching it burn towards her fingertips before dropping it into the bowl. Blood, hair and herbs sizzled instantly, a rank smell escaping. Katie breathed it in, working on instinct and repeating her request over and over in her mind.

Katie was rinsing the bowl in the sink when her phone beeped. A text message from an unknown number.

hi k luke here. U ok?

Katie let out a whoop. Magic was awesome.

Chapter 21.

20th August Money truly means nothing when you don't have your health. I visited Robert Laing today at his request. We've never moved in the same circles, but that doesn't mean anything at a time like this. The cancer is in his stomach. I said I'd visit him every week a every day at the end. There isn't much I can do, but sometimes just being there is all that is left. Someone has to bear witness and it's often too hard on those closest to the patient. Of course, Robert Laing has the misfortune to be married to a human icicle. No doubt his soul isn't exactly clean, but that is harsh punishment enough without filling his belly with vile shadow too.

14th September The days with Robert are mixed. He has lost his awkwardness with me and talks and talks. He's weak, but restless. He's an intelligent man and has lived an interesting life. Morally ambiguous, true, but interesting. I'm learning all kinds of new things. He insists on maintaining a facade in front of his son, which I quite understand, and in front of his wife, which seems almost sad. It's a good thing I am not a sentimental woman. He told me today that he wished he'd worked less, enjoyed the small things more. Not a startlingly original deathbed realisation, I grant you, but that doesn't make it any less true.

7th October If there is one thing you can say about Robert Laing, he has been remarkably efficient. Or, at least, his illness has. He's into his final twenty-four hours of life and when I told him, he smiled for the first time in ten days. The pain is intolerable, and beyond anything I can do. I tried to tell Elaine that the end was near, but she took against me. I don't blame her. The woman was born with too little sense to balance her lack of humanity and, truly, this is a test that even the finest people fail. I take what pain I can and come home exhausted, but I know I leave far too much behind. My toenails are falling off in protest; every step hurts and, I will admit it here where no one can hear me, tonight I cursed Robert Laing's name. Selfish, but there it is.

I'll soak my feet for a little while, and drink some whisky before I go back. I can help so I must.

Katie stood in the doorway to the lounge, not sure whether to go in or not. Ruby was lying on the sofa with a box of tissues balanced on her stomach and tears streaming down her face. Katie glanced at the television, expecting a Meg Ryan film to be playing. It was off.

'Are you okay?'

Ruby nodded, swiping at her cheeks with her hands. 'Just thinking.'

'About what?' Katie perched on the arm of the sofa beside her mother's feet and waited to be fobbed off with a non-reply.

'Just thinking about your gran.' Ruby blew her nose into a tissue and folded it up neatly as she spoke. 'And your grandad. And your father and what might've happened if he hadn't been so brilliant.'

'When you got up the duff with me?'

Ruby gave a watery smile. 'What a lovely way of putting it. Yes. That.'

'But why are you crying? Aren't you happy that you got married?' Katie was going to say and had me, but she chickened out.

'I'm really happy...' Her voice caught and she tried again. 'I'm so happy with your father and with you, I'm very lucky and it's just hit me that Gloria a your gran a wasn't so lucky.'

Katie frowned. 'But she had you and Auntie Gwen.'

'But she had to bring us up on her own. I've been pretty hard on her, that's all. I feel a bit bad.'

'I don't remember her very well,' Katie said. 'I know you didn't get on. And that she drove your dad away. Made it so he couldn't visit. Never told him where you were and moved around loads.'

'What?' Ruby looked surprised.

Katie looked at her hands. 'I heard you say that to Dad once.'

Ruby sat up, dislodging the box of tissues. She reached out as if she was going to take Katie's hand, but then moved it back, taking a Kleenex instead and blowing her nose.

'I shouldn't have said that.'