Part 28 (1/2)

'Mmm. I liked him.'

Gwen was momentarily speechless. 'I don't remember that.' She remembered Gloria telling her effectively the same as Elaine Laing; that she and Cam were from different worlds and had no future together. She'd dropped it in, casually, while reading the cards for something else entirely. Completely oblivious to the effect she was having, as usual.

'Well, I didn't give you any ha.s.sle over boys, did I?' Gloria was saying. 'I let you make your own mistakes. That's called being a supportive mother and I can tell you I didn't learn it from your great-aunt.'

'There's a difference between giving supportive freedom and simply not being interested.'

'And there's a difference between being a teenager and having the right to blame your mother for everything and being thirty-one and responsible for yourself.'

'Wow, Gloria. You sound almost angry there. Better be careful; you're in danger of actually having an emotion.'

'I'm full of emotion, darling. Full of positivity and happy feelings; that's probably why you don't recognise them. You always were a gla.s.s half-empty kind of child.'

'I'm going now,' Gwen said. 'Phone Ruby some time, will you?'

Gwen tried not to feel the emptiness of the house, but it pressed upon her. She pulled on a thick cardigan and hurried out to Nanette, rubbing her arms. She got in automatically, not letting herself think about it. Inside, it was only sensible to start the engine so that the heater would wake up. Then it seemed only natural to buckle her seat belt and reverse out of the drive.

She took the track to the main road slowly, wincing at the pot holes. If she stayed, she should really do something about those. The roads were quiet and she took turnings aimlessly, following small lanes through the countryside around the town. She'd always found driving good for thinking, but now her mind was blank. The motion soothed her, though. The mechanics of clutch-gear-s.h.i.+ft, the ticking of the indicators. Darkness came in quickly and she flipped on her lights.

She'd made the decision unconsciously, but soon found herself on the main road towards Bath. She realised that she was heading towards her sister; that she was actually craving her company. She wasn't going to examine the impulse any further. She wasn't running away, she told herself. Just taking a break from being alone. Just for a little while.

David answered the door in a red-striped ap.r.o.n and reading gla.s.ses. 'She's having her hair done. Not sure when she'll be back, I'm afraid.'

'Which salon? I'll go and keep her company under the drier.'

Gwen drove into the centre of Bath, thanking the parking G.o.ds when she found a free s.p.a.ce in a side street.

The salon was sleek but inviting and, looking through the big front window, Gwen could see Ruby was the last customer. She was talking animatedly with a teeny-tiny woman wearing black.

She pushed the door open before either woman could look up and catch her gawping at them like Charlie Bucket through the chocolate factory gates.

'Gwen?' Ruby's immaculate eyebrows drew together. 'You're here.'

'I came to see you. David told me about your appointment.'

'This is my friend Kim's place.' Ruby indicated the tiny woman who, Gwen couldn't help but notice, was taking a professionally dispa.s.sionate inventory of Gwen's appearance. 'Gwen's my sister,' Ruby said.

'Very nice.' Gwen looked around at the work stations with modern leather chairs, the gleaming display of hair products, and the s.p.a.ce-age light fittings that cast a pleasant, flattering light.

'Kim's finished with me.' Ruby picked up her bag. 'Do you want to go?' She paused. 'Unless you want to get your hair done.'

It was an old joke.

'I'd love to cut your hair,' Kim said earnestly. She reached out and ran a lock through her fingers.

'Don't even bother trying,' Ruby said. 'She won't let you.'

Gwen was going to say something else, but she was caught by her refection in one of the many mirrors. All the flattering light in the world couldn't disguise the horror. Her usually pale skin was greenish, and the dark shadows underneath her eyes stood out, which didn't help, but her hair sat lank against her head. The natural wave just made it look messy and the centre parting she'd been sporting since primary school looked old-fas.h.i.+oned and middle-aged. 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'What?' Ruby said.

'That I look like c.r.a.p.'

'I always tell you that,' Ruby said.

'I'm serious.' Gwen took a step towards the mirror. And jeans. When was the last time she'd worn anything except jeans? 'I look knackered and my clothes are boring and my hair is awful.'

Ruby came and stood next to her. 'Your hair isn't that bad. It's in beautiful condition.'

'Cam said I look the same and I thought he was being flattering. I mean, no one looks the same at eighteen and thirty-one, but he was right. I look the same, only older.'

'And that's bad why?'

Gwen thought about the forwards-backwards dance she and Cam had been executing and said, 'It can't be helping.'

'I could tidy up the ends for you.' Kim had her head on one side, considering. 'But a short cut would look really good. You've got the face shape for it.' Kim turned to Ruby. 'Hasn't she, Rubes?'

'I can't afford it,' Gwen said. 'Sorry.'

Ruby said, 'I'll pay.'

At the same time, Kim said, 'On the house.'

They looked at each other and laughed.

'That's very kind,' Gwen said, liking the feeling that it was a foregone conclusion. That a decision had been taken out of her hands.

She took a deep breath and sat down in the nearest chair. 'I want a total change.'

'Are you sure?' Kim said, combing and beginning to section her hair.

'I want a fresh start.'

Ruby rolled her eyes. 'It's only hair.'

Gwen fixed Ruby's eye in the mirror. 'Stop acting cool. I know you've been dying for me to beautify.'

Ruby flashed her a wide grin. 'This is true. Next we can do make-up.'

'No, thank you,' Gwen said. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about the dancing scissors and falling hair.

Kim asked her questions about her life and Gwen answered. It would've seemed ungrateful not to and Kim had clearly slipped into professional small talk out of habit. Ruby sat on a leather sofa with a magazine and Gwen could hear the pages flipping, so she told Kim about Curious Notions and her shadow boxes and tried not to put herself down. By the time Kim told her to open her eyes, she felt as if knots of tension had slipped undone. Maybe there was something in this pampering lark, after all.

She looked in the mirror. 'b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l.'

'Don't you like it?' Kim looked anxious. Ruby appeared in the mirror and gave her a thumbs-up.

Gwen put her hand to her neck and touched the bare skin. She turned her head to the side. 'It's great,' Gwen said automatically. It was definitely different.

'You'll need to blow-dry it to make it sit like this,' Kim said.