Part 16 (1/2)

'But I knew where that boy was. I just knew. You think I shouldn't have told the police? I mean, I didn't know he was already dead and it didn't matter anyway. You think I should've kept quiet even though there might've been a chance I could've saved him? And what about the closure for his family; did you even think about that?'

Gwen heard Ruby breathing. 'Okay, maybe not for that one. But I just mean usually. In like ... everyday life.'

'It's not a b.l.o.o.d.y switch, Ruby. I don't get to choose. I've spent the last ten years trying really hard not to use it, to ignore every little sign, to pretend I don't know things that I shouldn't know, but it's impossible and I've been miserable.' As soon as Gwen said the words, she felt the truth of them. She'd been miserable. Really f.u.c.king miserable. 'It's like trying to wear shoes that are a size too tight. They pinch all the time and to begin with you think it'll be fine and you'll get used to it and the leather will give a little but, by the time you've walked around for an hour or two, every step is agony and all you can think about is ripping the b.l.o.o.d.y things off.'

'Please don't tell Katie,' Ruby said in a rush.

'I've already promised. I won't talk about finding stuff or-'

'No. I don't mean that. I mean the way I've been. I'm not proud of it.'

'That's okay,' Gwen said awkwardly.

'She hates me enough already without her finding out that I've been a total b.i.t.c.h to her new favourite person.'

'You've not been a total b.i.t.c.h,' Gwen said, smiling. 'You have to do me a favour in return, though. Come to the pub with me tonight.'

'In Pendleford?'

'I'm trying to settle in, meet people.'

'Did you hit your head? That doesn't sound like you.'

'Very funny.' Gwen tried to organise her thoughts. 'I'm probably just going stir crazy. I need to get out of the house for a bit.'

'You're just hoping to b.u.mp into Cameron Laing.' Ruby's tone was teasing, but Gwen felt like she'd been slapped.

'What?' Ruby said. 'What's happened?'

'Nothing.'

I used the Finding in front of him and he ran away and then I fed someone a de-hexing charm and he probably thinks I'm certifiable.'

'Fine. I'll come out. I'll meet you there. But no weird stuff, okay?'

The Red Lion was just as cosy as Gwen remembered. A fire was blazing in the hearth and there was a comforting murmur of conversation. Bob the barman was on his own and it was busy on both sides, so she hoisted herself onto one of the high stools to wait for Ruby. A couple were debating the merits of getting two gla.s.ses of wine or a whole bottle. A stocky man slid into the narrow gap between Gwen's stool and the couple. His tie was loose, the top b.u.t.ton of his s.h.i.+rt undone and his face was red from either alcohol, excitement or from sitting too close to the fireplace. Gwen tucked her legs as close to the stool as she could, and fixed her gaze on the optics.

'Excuse me?'

With some reluctance Gwen turned to the man.

'I'm hoping you can settle a bet.' A gust of lager breath accompanied his words. 'Are you a model or an actress?'

'That's a terrible line. Very unoriginal,' Gwen said. 'In fact, it's so bad I'm guessing you don't even want it to work. Which is just bad manners.'

The man's goofy smile faded slightly. 'No. I'm serious.' He attempted a leer. 'Let me buy you a drink.'

'No, thank you. Why don't you head back to your friends now?'

Gwen had spotted the group of similarly clothed office boys. They were looking in her direction with absolutely no subtlety at all. A guy with a thick thatch of black hair and a purple s.h.i.+ny s.h.i.+rt nudged his friend and burst out laughing.

Unfortunately, her would-be-suitor was now looking at her with increased interest. b.o.l.l.o.c.ks. She'd tried to be funny. That was never a good idea. Now he thought she was a challenge.

'At least talk to me for a bit.' He spread his hands wide. 'I mean, we're both human beings, right? Let's pa.s.s the time together.'

'I'm sorry,' Gwen said. 'I'm waiting for someone and I really don't feel like company.' She angled her body away and began fis.h.i.+ng in her bag for her phone. If she pretended to write a text message, perhaps he would leave her alone.

A hand appeared in front of her face. 'Jason. Pleased to meet you.'

Gwen didn't take the hand. She pressed the middle b.u.t.ton on her phone and pretended to read the screen.

'Don't I know you from somewhere?' Jason wasn't giving up.

'I don't think so,' Gwen said without looking up. There was a brief, blessed silence, but she could feel Jason staring at her.

'Gwen Harper,' Jason said. 'It is. It's Gwen Harper. Christ, I thought you looked familiar.'

Gwen looked at him. Pink cheeks, small beer gut straining the front of his tucked-in s.h.i.+rt, polyester suit trousers, sweaty forehead. 'How do you know-'

'G.o.d...' Jason was shaking his head. 'You've got b.a.l.l.s.'

'Excuse me?' Gwen's stomach swooped.

Jason's voice seemed to have got much louder suddenly. 'Crazy Gwen. My G.o.d, I never thought you'd show up around here.'

Jason had not aged well, but she remembered him now. She had always thought he was decent enough, which just went to show that she didn't have her mother's intuition.

'Crazy Gwen Harper...' Jason was shaking his head as if she were some kind of mythical beast. 'Do you know what we used to call you?'

Gwen felt frozen and hot all at the same time. Her eyes p.r.i.c.ked.

Jason started counting names off on his fingers. 'Freak show, Loony Tunes, Harptard. You know, as in re-'

'Hiya, Gwen, how are you?' Bob had appeared. Confusingly, he was leaning forward, his arms resting on the bar, smiling at Gwen like she was his long-lost sister.

'I'm fine, thanks,' Gwen managed.

'Pint of Fosters,' Jason said.

Bob's gaze flicked to Jason. 'You're barred. Get out.'

'What?'

Bob straightened up. 'You're not getting served here, mate. Get out.'

'Now,' Bob turned back to Gwen, 'what can I get you, my love?'

'Southern Comfort, please. Ice.'

'You can't do that,' Jason said, his pink face flus.h.i.+ng deep red. 'I haven't done anything.'