Part 34 (2/2)

”'Well, no--no actual experience, sir.'

”'Any theoretical experience? Any instructions in the duties and ethics of doorkeeping?'

”'Umh--no.'

”'Have you ever attended lectures on doorkeeping?'

”'No, sir.'

'”Have you read any text-book on the subject?'

”'No.'

”'Have you conversed with any one who has read such a book?'

”'No, sir. I'm afraid not, sir.'

”'Well, then, my friend, don't you see that you haven't a single qualification for this important post?' said Lincoln, in a reproachful tone.

”'Yes, I do,' said the applicant, and he took leave humbly, almost gratefully.”--(Chicago _Record-Herald_.)

NOT GOOD OFFICES, BUT A GOOD STORY.

When Was.h.i.+ngton and its chief guardians were more sorely besieged by office-seekers than by the Confederates, a politician locally important and generally importunate was sent as a ”committee of one”

to headquarters to secure the loaves and fishes for his congeries.

But in about a fortnight this forager came home, full of emptiness.

Asked if he had not seen the President--accounted commonly as only too accessible--and why he did not get the places, he replied glumly, yet with a tinge of brightening:

”Yes, I saw the old man. He heard me state my errand, the President did. He heard me patiently all right enough; and then he said: 'I am sorry not to have any good offices for you, but--I can give you something--a good story!'

”And he went on with--

”'Once there was a certain king who kept an astrologer to forewarn him of coming events, and especially to tell him whether it was going to rain when he wished to go on hunting expeditions. One day he had started for the forest with his train of lords and ladies, when he met a farmer.

”'”Good morning, farmer,” said the king.

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