Part 27 (1/2)
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juxtaposition of a prune of a woman and the s.h.i.+ny new technological equipment was always funny to watch. She mastered it a lot better than my parents could. Mom was always afraid that she was going to click some b.u.t.ton that would make the computer implode. As if they actually built computers with a panic b.u.t.ton.
Mrs. Novak's expression read that she found what she was look- ing for, and she looked up at me with sympathetic eyes. ”I'm sorry, dear, but it looks like there's been a death in the family.”
Those words caused a physical reaction so quickly in my gut that I had to hold on to the counter and rest my head. I fl ashed back to when our princ.i.p.al came to my En glish fi nal to pull me out with the news that there had been a death in my family. I relived that moment all summer and every time I saw him in the halls wearing one of his tweed suits and Bears ties.
”Do you know who?” Becca came to my rescue, asking the question I couldn't.
”Sorry, dearie, it doesn't say in the computer. You can ask Prin- c.i.p.al Donovan-”
”No thank you,” I interrupted her, and fl ed the offi ce.
I found the nearest bench in the foyer, a modern, rectangular slab with no back, ensuring the least amount of comfort to discour- age lollygagging and dillydallying. I sat down and cupped my head in my hands. Becca sat next to me and rubbed my back.
”See? This is what I'm talking about. If I hadn't gotten involved with Leo, then I wouldn't even have known about this and had to deal with it. You should not be rubbing my back.” I ripped her hand off me.
”Alex, you can't seriously be mad that someone in Leo's family --1 died.”
-0 -+1 15 5.
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”Why not? It's just another thing, Becca. Another layer of s.h.i.+t on the ma.s.sive s.h.i.+t parfait that is life.”
Becca snickered, and I shot her my death- ray look. ”How am I not supposed to laugh when you're talking about a s.h.i.+t parfait?”
”How can you laugh right now? You have cancer! My dad is dead! Now Leo's dad could be dead. Or his mom. Or his brother.”
”Alex, what am I supposed to do? Sit around crying all day?
That's not how you deal with s.h.i.+t. You get to be all broody and mad and dark. Let me try to look on the bright side and laugh at parfaits.”
She snickered again, and I remembered the homeschool joint she lit up just ten minutes prior.
That got a smile out of me, but only a tiny one. ”I have to call him.”
”You don't have to. But unless your heart really is a lump of coal, you should.”
”How about a text to start with?” I bargained.
”Sure,” she mused. ”I really want a granola bar.”
I pulled out my phone and tried typing. All that came out were idiotic things like, ”Who died?” and ”I heard there was a death in your family. Sucks.”
”Help me!” I pleaded to Becca. She grabbed my phone.
”How about, 'You haven't been in school. Hope everything is ok.' ”
”But I know it's not okay.”
”He doesn't know you know, and maybe he wants to be the one to tell you.”
”Hit send before I chicken out.”
-1- ”Done.”
0- I waited until the last possible second to walk into fi rst period.
1-
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No reply texts from Leo, but I couldn't bring my phone to cla.s.s to keep checking. If a teacher heard the buzz of a text, that would be an instant confi scation until the end of the day. I placed my phone in my locker on top of the bag of cookies that was becoming less edible as the week wore on. Throughout the morning, I checked my phone in my locker every chance I got. Nothing. When lunch came around, I decided the wait was too much for me. But I wasn't ready to call Leo and sound like an a.s.shole. Instead, I visited Mr. Esrum, Leo's creative writing sponsor. I looked through the gla.s.s window of his offi ce door.
Head down, he graded a stack of papers on his overfl owing desk. I knocked on the door. He looked up over the top of his gla.s.ses and waved me in.
”May I help you?” he asked. He wasn't overly friendly, but I appreciated that in a person. Leo liked him, so I guess I did, too.
”Hi. I'm a friend of Leo Dietz ...” I started.
”You must be Alex! He writes about you. I probably shouldn't have told you that, though.” His sly smile indicated he was trying to make me feel good with this comment, but it had the opposite eff ect.