Part 13 (1/2)
We ended up hanging out in his adopted room, not talking much but watching The Big Bang Theory reruns from his bed. Nothing happened the fi rst day, but I sensed he wanted it to.
A week later, sans Katie, he invited me over again. I went more as a spy for Becca, who seemed to think that Norwegians were the s.e.xi- est human beings alive and vowed to catch at least a glimpse of one of their uncirc.u.mcised p.e.n.i.ses. Besides, Aleks smelled nice. I had never been one for perfume or cologne and felt downright revulsion for Axe body spray, but Aleks smelled like he cared about his appearance. It was a little salty and minty, as I imagined the water around Norway smelled.
As we lay on his bed, again watching The Big Bang Theory, I asked him to teach me some swears in Norwegian.
”Dritsak,” he explained, meant ”sack of s.h.i.+t.” ”Hestekuk” meant ”horse c.o.c.k.” I laughed that he would think to teach me ”horse c.o.c.k”
as a swear, and I swooned a little at the cultural diff erence. Yes, I swooned at ”horse c.o.c.k.”
I wore a b.u.t.ton- down s.h.i.+rt that day, and after we laughed about --1 -0 -+1
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horse c.o.c.k, Aleks began to unb.u.t.ton it. We hadn't yet kissed, but he was already taking off my s.h.i.+rt. I let him, curious what this Norwegian would do next. He watched my expression, maybe waiting to see if what he was doing was okay. I a.s.sisted him with the many b.u.t.tons, letting him know it was. When my s.h.i.+rt was completely undone, he kissed me, a little too wet and tonguey. I guided his face down to my chest, and he lightly kissed above, then under my bra. He worked off my s.h.i.+rt, and I sat up enough for him to unhook the back of my bra, which he did adeptly. I guess bra hooks were international. I tugged his gray sweater over his head and ran my fi ngers up his torso and chest. He was lean and not very muscular. His chest was bare of hair.
I remember kissing on the lips very little. He kept his mouth on my b.r.e.a.s.t.s most of the time, and I didn't mind. His strong jaw tickled me as he nibbled.
That was as far as it went that day. Katie's pom- poms charged up the stairs about a half hour after we started, and I got dressed and left.
Becca was disappointed I hadn't seen his p.e.n.i.s yet and handed me a condom the next time I saw her.
Two days later, armed with the Trojan, I followed Aleks back to his house once again. This time the TV stayed off and we immedi- ately began removing each other's clothes when we entered his room.
He was qualifi ed at clothing removal but not as much with fi nger placement. I had to fi sh his pokey fi ngers out of my undies twice before he got the hint to give that up.
Me in my underwear, him in his blue boxers, we moved over to the bed. ”Wait-” I told him, the fi rst word spoken that afternoon. I found Becca's condom in my backpack and brought it up to the bed.
-1- He yanked off his underwear in an overly excited manner, then got 0- on his knees to help me work off mine. I looked at his p.e.n.i.s, studying
1-
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it to get the details for Becca before he slapped on the condom. I lay down on the bed, and he lay on top of me. The initial pain wasn't excruciating, although I never got much plea sure out of it. It was over quickly, and Aleks rolled off me and promptly fell asleep. Hestekuk.
I got dressed and immediately called Becca from my cell on the way out of the house. ”His p.e.n.i.s was wearing a saggy hat,” I reported.
”Really? That's so depressing. Did it at least feel good?”
”It felt fi ne.” I shrugged to the phone.
”Well, that's not how s.e.x should feel. Go back in there and do it again!”
”Um, no thank you. Not today at least.”
”They go back to Norway next week, you know.”
”Well, then we better hurry and have as much bad s.e.x as we can before he leaves.”
”Was it really bad?” She pouted over the phone.
”No. Don't worry. It just wasn't really good. I'll try again, maybe.
Just for you.”
”You're the best.”
”Tell that to my v.a.g.i.n.a.”
”You're the best, Alex's v.a.g.i.n.a.”
”My v.a.g.i.n.a thanks you.”
Aleks and I had s.e.x once more before he fl ew back to Norway. It was better the second time around, with some added foreplay and a near climax. But near isn't the same as the real deal, which was why I wasn't in a hurry to try again when I started dating Davis.
Would the f.u.c.k- It List magically help me fall in love and have s.e.x in a way that I couldn't before Becca got cancer? Was it fair for --1 either of us to live or die with that kind of pressure?