Part 73 (1/2)

The only other people in the room now were servants, most of them hired by Philippa on his behalf since he no longer made Frieth House his primary home. He'd come back to North Baslemere for a number of reasons. This was his birthplace, for one, and he had deep and lasting connections here despite the changes in his life. For another, Philippa was going to remarry, and he wanted to celebrate the happy event when she and her prospective groom formally announced their news.

”Not too tired to walk a little more, I hope?” He c.o.c.ked his head in the direction of the terrace door and looked at her sideways. She'd taken a great deal of care with her appearance tonight. Something he hadn't noticed before, what with the excitement of a party so perfectly managed he'd had nothing to do but enjoy himself. Pink roses! ”Did I remember to compliment your appearance?” This wasn't flattery, he told himself. ”If I didn't, you have permission to shoot me.”

”No, Alec, I don't believe you did.” These days Philippa was the only person to call him by his given name. He rather liked the informality. From her. She held out her hand, and he took it as she rose. ”A breath of air would be delightful.”

Now that he'd spent time in London, he saw Philippa with a more experienced eye. She was not quite beautiful, but she had something that appealed. Her looks were in no way inferior, but her confidence, her utter satisfaction with herself as she was, made her interesting for more than her face and figure. During his time away, he had learned that even perfection was tedious in a woman one did not otherwise admire.

She glanced at him, mercifully unaware of his inventory of her physical attributes. Christ. London and its courtesans had made him a lech before he was thirty. What business had he noticing her that way? Before she tucked her hand in the crook of his arm, she adjusted her shawl and in the process gave him a flash of bare shoulder. He hadn't seen her in an evening gown before, and, well, this close to her and with none of his earlier distractions, he could see her skin was perfectly smooth and white from her forehead to her bosom.

They continued to the set of double doors that led to the terrace, leaving the servants to the task of cleaning up. If it were daylight they would be able to see the roses that had been his mother's pride while she lived here, before his sisters had given their mother grandchildren upon which to dote.

”I've asked a maid to make up a room for you,” he said. They were outside now and crossing the terrace. He'd also never realized she was as delicate as she was, though one also had to take into account the fact that he was a bigger man now, taller and broader through the shoulders than when he'd left North Baslemere.

”It's not so late,” she said. ”I'll walk home.”

”Nonsense.” He put his hand over hers. ”I won't hear of it.”

Philippa tilted her head in his direction. ”I'm not sure that's wise, My Lord.”

”What isn't wise?”

”My staying the night.”

”Why ever not? You're family.” Even before the words were out, he understood, with a disconcerting thump of his heart, what she meant. He'd thought of her as an older sister for years and years. Twenty-five years, to be exact. But she wasn't his sister. Appearances were everything, and if she stayed the night, a youthful widow in the home of a London buck, there might be unpleasant speculation.

A rather explicit image popped into his head. Him covering her, thrusting into her, while she held him tight against her naked body.

Good G.o.d. Had he gone entirely mad?

”And yet, not family.” She adjusted her shawl.

”If not family, then fast friends.” Dane had the oddest conviction that he'd somehow stepped out of time and that now nothing was familiar to him. Not his childhood home. Not this terrace or the garden he'd grown up with. Not even Philippa, who he admired as a friend.

”Yes,” she said, tightening her hand on his arm. ”We are friends, aren't we? Lifelong friends.” They stopped at the furthest edge of the terrace. She took a deep breath of the night air.

Dane who, by coincidence, happened to be looking down, saw the swell of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s against her neckline. In his out-of-place mood, he thought of s.e.x. With Philippa. And that sent another jolt of heat through him.

Two.

Jesus. He'd gone mad. Thank G.o.d she had her eyes closed because he was still looking and thinking thoughts that ought not be in his head.

She lifted her hands towards the night sky. ”It is lovely out, isn't it?”

”Yes.” He clasped his hands behind his back and tried to ignore his so awkward awareness of her as a woman instead of as Philippa, who, in the pages of her letters to him, had often possessed no gender at all.

The bodice of her gown was green satin with a matching bow beneath her bosom and two wide, ta.s.selled ribbons hanging down nearly to the hem of her white muslin skirts. Her slippers matched the green. The hue complemented her hair and eyes. As for the bare skin on display, well, in London he'd learned he was a man who admired a woman's bosom. Maybe that explained his plunge into madness. Long legs were nice, of course, but to have one's eyes and hands and mouth engaged with a woman's b.r.e.a.s.t.s, there was his particular notion of sensual paradise.

What he could see of Philippa's b.r.e.a.s.t.s was very nice.

”My Lord?”

”Mm?”

She tapped his arm with her fan. ”Gathering wool, Alec?”

He tore his gaze from her chest and his thoughts from the bedroom in which he had privately ensconced them while he undressed her. She was too polite to let on if she'd noticed him leering at her like some satyr from the forest deep. ”I beg your pardon.” He cleared his throat. ”Lost in the clouds, I suppose.”

”Did I see you speaking to Captain Bancroft earlier?” The crack of her fan opening startled him.

Captain Bancroft was the man she was going to marry. ”Yes,” he said carefully. ”We did speak.”

Inside, the servants were putting out the candles and lamps that had made the ballroom blaze, so their spot on the terrace was slowly receding into darkness. She glanced towards the roses. ”To think I held you in my arms when you were hardly three weeks old. I was six, and so proud to be allowed to hold the baby.”

Yes, he thought with immense relief. This was exactly the direction their conversation needed to take. Talk of him in nappies and his hair all curls. ”Did you ever imagine I would turn out as I have?”

She faced him, her expression serious. Composed. How had he never noticed her mouth before? Such a lovely, soft mouth. ”I've loved you since that day,” she said. She was so sure of herself. So certain that her opinion held weight and consequence. She was right, of course. He cared very much what she thought.

He found this confidence of hers attractive. In fact, he'd sought that very quality in the lovers he'd taken. The few there had been. Dane was certain Philippa would be confident in his arms. She would do exactly as she wished, convinced she was ent.i.tled to her pleasure, too. G.o.d save him from women who merely accepted.

Her shawl slid off her shoulders, and she brought the ends forwards so more of the material hung from the crooks of her elbows. ”I loved you as if you were my own.” She tipped her head towards him. Philippa, he was quite sure, had no difficulty keeping him in his proper place. ”And yes, I expected all along that you would turn out well. I never doubted for a moment.”

”I did.”

She c.o.c.ked her head. Always so serious. ”I suppose we all doubt ourselves to some degree or another, don't you think?”

”Or else we're insufferable, yes.” He brought her closer to his side, and she leaned in towards him. Philippa rarely smiled, and she did not now. He wondered what he could do to change that. She lifted her chin, eyebrows arched when their gazes locked. The deep awareness in her eyes was exactly as he recalled. ”I've never thought you doubted yourself,” he said. ”Why?”

”Oh, yes,” she said, and he fancied she sounded sad. ”Quite often.”

”But why?” he asked in a low voice. He lifted a hand to touch her cheek, but didn't. ”Why so sad, Philippa?” he whispered. ”What's made you so melancholy tonight?”

She kept her torso turned towards him. His heart skipped a beat. ”If I ask you a question, Alec, will you answer me honestly?”

Dane considered that. While she awaited his reply, in the distance, someone's hound bayed. He'd learned a thing or two in London. ”I cannot promise you that, Philippa.” Her fingers remained on his arm, and he reached over and placed his palm over the top of her hand. ”There are subjects about which no gentleman should ever be frank.” Somehow, that seemed the wrong thing to say. ”When a lady is concerned.”

Her mouth thinned. ”It's London that's done this to you. Isn't it?”

He froze in fear of her remonstrance against his immodest leers. h.e.l.l, he was looking even now. She knew the inappropriate direction of his thoughts. She'd always been one to divine his thoughts. ”Done what?”

She looked . . . wistful. ”Made you so infernally wise.” She studied him. ”I felt it in your letters, you know.” The edge of her mouth quirked down. ”Such wisdom in a man so young.”

He laughed. His amus.e.m.e.nt didn't bring a smile to her mouth and it didn't dispel his odd mood, either.

She shook her head. ”I'm serious, Alec.” She took a step away, almost as if she were dancing with him. Her gloved hand fell slowly to her side. They hadn't danced that night. Not even once. That seemed a pity to him now. ”Your opinion matters a great deal to me.”

He pulled on his cuffs, but he looked at her from under his lowered eyes. ”What wisdom I have is at your disposal.”