Part 38 (1/2)
”You do know Princess Leia wore a white dress and not a furry white robe, right?”
I turned. Robert Schwarner was behind me.
”I didn't have a white dress. And I only changed my plan this morning, so I didn't have time to get one.”
”Hmm.”
”Come on, can't you be a little impressed? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get corkscrew curls into buns?”
”They're really supposed to be more braids.”
”You know, you're awfully judgmental for a guy who runs around in a BeastSlayer cloak all the time.”
”'I cannot teach him,'” Robert/Yoda said to no one in particular. ”'The boy has no patience.'”
”That one doesn't work. I'm not a boy. And Yoda does teach Luke after he says that.”
Robert sighed, shaking his head with the resignation of an old Jedi master who'd seen it all.
”Robert, I'm really sorry. I hate myself for the way I treated you ... enough to impale my skull with the better part of fifty bobby pins and a full can of hairspray to look as much like Princess Leia as possible-if Princess Leia had a penchant for fuzzy bathrobes.”
”You know, there are places where you can get real Princess Leia costumes. I could take you.”
”You sure you'd want to? It's not easy to be my friend right now. I'm a bit of a social liability.”
”'Stay and help you I will,'” Robert Yoda'd.
The crowd had now cleared enough that we could leave The Heap. We walked the hall together in an easy silence.
”Hey, Robert,” I said before I ducked into English cla.s.s. ”They're great movies. Not overrated at all.”
”Apology accepted.”
I walked to my island of a seat. For a second I thought I'd mess with people and sit someplace new, then watch everyone scatter. If I really didn't care what anyone thought, it would have been funny.
The minute cla.s.s ended, I beelined for the door, pausing only slightly to set my Ping-Pong paddle in front of Archer. I didn't want to embarra.s.s him by having an actual conversation with him, but it was a gift and I wanted him to have it. The paddle was brand-new, and on its handle I had written a short message in permanent ink: I hate horror movies.
I saw him frown as he read it, but I didn't let myself linger. I wanted to get through this day as soon as possible. The less time I spent at Chrysella the better ... plus I had plans.
It took a while after school to get everything ready, but I finally made it to Yardley. I rang the doorbell, then ducked behind the bushes. If Claudia was home, I knew she'd be the one to answer. Lenore had a phobia about people coming to the house unexpectedly.
Claude came out and saw my two baskets right away. The first held an a.s.sortment of fifteen adorable stuffed deer, all smiling up at her. The second basket held a colander with a big red bow on one of its handles. Inside it, I'd placed a huge pile of snickerdoodles. The top five cookies were each frosted with a single letter and together spelled the word ”MERCY.”
Claudia looked over the whole spread.
”First of all,” she said as if I were right there in front of her, ”it is patently unfair to engage the aid of the deer friends, who-judging by their happy little smiles-do not know all the details. Second, these do not look like Harriet Ralston snickerdoodles. Finally, the quotation is 'the quality of mercy is not strain'd.' So if you're looking for forgiveness, it would make far more sense to put a bow and cookies on the absence of a colander.”
”Points duly noted,” I said, still crouched in the bushes. ”May I have a reb.u.t.tal?”
Claudia nodded.
”The deer friends wanted to come,” I said, emerging from the bushes and joining her on the porch. ”I told them it was a bad idea and might seem manipulative, but they didn't care. As for the snickerdoodles, they're store-bought, though I added the frosting letters myself. Mom and Karl aren't speaking to me, so I didn't think asking for cookies would go over well. As for the last one, I have no reb.u.t.tal ... except I'm not sure where on the absence of a colander the bow would stick.”
”Points taken.”
We just stood there a second. It was terrible. In nearly twelve years, Claudia and I had never had a major fight. Now I felt like there was this giant balloon of awfulness between us, and I had no idea how to pop it and go back to how things had been.
”I did choose them,” I said. ”It's the worst thing I've ever done in my life. I swear, I would do anything to take it back.”
”You can't.”
I didn't want to believe it, but I knew she was right.
Claudia sat on the step. ”I wish I could take it back, too.”
”You?”
”The Ladder was all my idea. I pushed you into it, even when you didn't want to. I felt like as long as we were working on it together, we'd stay connected and I wouldn't lose you.”
”Claudia...”
I wanted to tell her she could never lose me, but I'd already proven that wasn't true. I shut my mouth.
”Then when the thing happened with Marsh, I got this idea that both our lives would be magically transformed,” she said. ”I wanted it so badly. I don't know ... maybe if I were you, I'd have done the same thing.”
”You wouldn't have.”
”Maybe not ... I don't know. But you wouldn't have done any of it without me. I've been your Lady Macbeth. You were fine with Thane of Glamis, but I pushed you to be king. It's only right I'd get a little blood on my hands.”
”Settle for pink frosting?” I asked. I reached into the basket of snickerdoodles and handed her one. The balloon of awfulness was still there, but it was a tiny bit smaller. I didn't know if it would ever go away entirely.
As we sat and ate, I told Claudia everything that had happened since the party: the Facebook group, the video clips, and what I'd done that morning.
”Three hundred people think Cara Leonard is a Great Big Wh.o.r.e?” she asked.
”And growing. I'm quite the cultural phenomenon.” Claudia picked up a second cookie and sc.r.a.ped off the icing with her teeth. ”So you had the chance to become Supreme Populazzi, and you let it go.”
”Yeah. You're not disappointed, are you?” ”No.”
”Swear on the Bell?”
”I do. I've actually been thinking about it a lot, and I realized something.”
”What's that?”
”Thane of Glamis is a wicked awesome position.”