Part 45 (1/2)

”He wouldn't need this place to do that,” I said. ”How on earth do you find your way out of here?” Nothing she had said had lessened my uneasiness.

”The years,” she said seriously, ”have taken care of that.”

She pulled at me and we sat, our torsos in the deep shade of the hedges, our stretched-out legs in the b.u.t.tery warmth of the sunlight. Somewhere, close at hand, a b.u.mblebee buzzed fatly, contentedly.

I put my head back and watched the play of light and shadow on the hedge opposite us. Ten thousand tiny leaves moved minutely in the soft breeze as if I were watching a distant crowd fluttering lifted handkerchiefs at the arrival of some visiting emperor. A kind of dreamy warmth stole over me and at once my uneasiness was gone.

”Yes,” I told her. ”It is peaceful here.”

”I am glad,” she said. ”You feel it too. Perhaps that is because you are a writer. A writer feels things more deeply, is that not so?”

I smiled. ”Maybe some, yes. We're always creating characters for our stories so we have to be adept at pulling apart the people we meet. We have to be able to get beyond the world and, like a surgeon, expose their workings.”

”And you're never frightened of such things?”

”Frightened? Why?”

”Of what you'll find there.”

”I've discovered many things there over the years. How could all of them be pleasant? Why should I want them to be? I sometimes think that many of my colleagues live off the unpleasant traits they find beneath the surface.” I shrugged. ”In any event, nothing seems to work well without the darkness of conflict. In life as well as in writing.”

Her eyes opened and she looked at me sideways. ”Am I wrong to think that knowledge is very important to you?”

”What could be more important to a writer? I sometimes think there is a finite amount of knowledge-not to be a.s.similated-but that can be used.”

”And that is why you have come here.”

”Yes.”

She looked away. ”You have never married. Why is that?”

I shrugged while I thought about that for a moment. ”I imagine it's because I've never fallen in love.”

She smiled at that. ”Never ever. Not in all the time-”

I laughed. ”Now wait a minute! I'm not that old. Thirty-seven is hardly ancient.”

”Thirty-seven,” she mouthed softly, as if she were repeating words alien to her. ”Thirty-seven. Really?”

”Yes.” I was puzzled. ”How old are you?”

”As old as I look.” She tossed her hair. ”I told you last night. Time means very little here.”

”Oh yes, day to day. But I mean you must-”

”No more talk now,” she said, rising and pulling at my hand. ”There is too much to see.”

We left the labyrinth by a simple enough path, though, left to myself, I undoubtedly would have wandered around in there until someone had the decency to come and get me.

Presently we found ourselves at a stone parapet beyond which the peak dropped off so precipitously that it seemed as if we were standing on the verge of a rift in the world.

This was the western face of the island, one that I had not seen on my journey here. Far below us-certainly more than a thousand feet-the sea creamed and sucked at the jagged rocks, iced at their base by s.h.i.+ning pale-gray barnacles. Three or four large lavender and white gulls dipped and wheeled through the foaming spray as they searched for food.

”Beautiful, isn't it?” Marissa said.

But I had already turned from the dark face of the sea to watch the planes and hollows of her own s.h.i.+ning face, lit by the soft summer light, all rose and golden, radiating a warmth....

It took me some time to understand the true nature of that heat. It stemmed from the same spot deep inside me from which had leaped that sharp momentary anger.

”Marissa,” I breathed, saying her name as if it were a prayer.

And she turned to me, her cornflower blue eyes wide, her full lips slightly parted, s.h.i.+ning. I leaned over her, coming closer inch by inch until I had to shut my eyes or cross them. Then I felt the brush of her lips against mine, so incredibly soft, at first cool and fragrant, then quickly warming to blood-heat.

”No,” she said, her voice m.u.f.fled by our flesh. ”Oh, don't.” But her lips opened under mine and I felt her hot tongue probing into my mouth.

My arms went around her, pulling her to me as gently as I would handle a stalk of wheat. I could feel the hard press of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, the round softness of her stomach, and the heat. The heat rising....

And with the lightning comes the rain. That's from an old poem my mother used to sing to me late at night when the storms woke me up. I cannot remember any more of it. Now it's just a fragment of truth, an artifact unearthed from the silty riverbed of my mind. And I the archeologist of this region as puzzled as everyone else at what I sometimes find. But that, after all, is what has kept me writing, year after year. An engine of creation.

The night is impenetrable with cloud and the hissing downpour. But still I stand at my open window, high up above the city, at the very edge of heaven.

I cannot see the streets below me-the one or two hurrying people beneath their trembling umbrellas or the lights of the cars, if indeed there are any out at this unG.o.dly hour-just the spectral geometric patterns, charcoal-gray on black, of the buildings' tops closest to mine. But not as high. None of them is as high.

Nothing exists now but this tempest and its fury. The night is alive with it, juddering and crackling. Or am I wrong? Is the night alive with something else? I know.

I know.

I hear the sound of them now....

The days pa.s.sed like the most intense of dreams. The kind where you can recall every single detail any time you wish, producing its emotions again and again with a conjurer's facility.

Being with Marissa, I forgot about my obsessive desire to seek out Morodor. I no longer asked her where he was or when I would get to see him. In fact, I hoped I never would, for, if there were any truth to the legends of Fuego del Aire, they most a.s.suredly must stem from his dark soul and not from this creature of air and light who never left my side.

In the afternoons we strolled through the endless gardens-for she was ill at ease indoors-and holding her hand seemed infinitely more joyous than looking upon the castle's illimitable marvels. I fully believe that if we had chanced upon a griffin during one of those walks I would have taken no more notice of it than I would an alley cat.

However, no such fabled creature made its appearance, and as the time pa.s.sed I became more and more convinced that there was no basis at all to the stories that had been told and re-told over the years. The only magical power Marissa possessed was the one that enabled her to cut to the very core of me with but one word or the merest touch of her flesh against mine.

”I lied to you,” I told her one day. It was late afternoon. Thick dark sunlight slanted down on our shoulders and backs, as slow-running as honey. The cicadas wailed like beaten bra.s.s and b.u.t.terflies danced like living jewels in and out of the low bushes and the blossoms as if they were a flock of children playing tag.

”About what?”

”When I said that I had never been in love.” I turned over on my back, staring up at a fleecy cloud piled high, a castle in the sky. ”I was. Once.”

I took her hand, rubbed my thumb over the delicate bones ribbing the back. ”It was when I was in college. We met in a child psychology cla.s.s and fell in love without even knowing it.”

For a moment there was a silence between us and I thought perhaps I had made a mistake in bringing it up.

”But you did not marry her.”

”No.”