Part 89 (2/2)
”A debauched body and a vitiated mind are perceptible in her face, and having remained on the town till these were too visible for her to hope for a continuance, she is now a tutoress of others, to make the most of those with whom they promiscuously a.s.sociate. She furnishes the finery, and shares the plunder. It is, however, a melancholy and disgusting picture of Real Life in London, and merely deserves to be known in order to be avoided, for there is no species of villainy to which persons of her stamp”--
”Of whom it is to be hoped there are but few,” cried Tallyho, interrupting him.
”For the sake of human nature,” replied Dashalt., ”it is to be hoped so; but there is no species of villainy to which they will not stoop.” {1}
1 The Hon. Tom Dashall's observations on this subject are but too strikingly exemplified by a case heard at Wors.h.i.+p- street Police Office a short time back, in which Jemima Matthews was charged with conduct which excited astonishment at the depravity of human nature.--One of the parish constables of Spitalfields stated, he proceeded to the residence of the prisoner in Upper Cato-street, and found the wretch at the bar surrounded by eight children, while a supper, consisting of a variety of meats and vegetables, was making ready on the fire. Three children, Frederick Clark, John Clark, and John Bailey, were owned by their parents.
The children seemed so much under the controul of this infamous woman, that they were afraid to tell the truth until she was removed from the bar. Little Bailey then said, they were daily sent out to steal what they could, and bring it home in the evening. When they could get nothing else, they stole meat from the butchers, and vegetables from the green-grocers. The woman kept a pack of cards, by which she told their fortunes, whether they would succeed, or be caught by the officers. Mr. Swaby observed, that since he had attended the Office, he never witnessed a case of so much iniquity. The prisoner was remanded for further examination, and the magistrate intimated he should desire the parish to prosecute her for the misdemeanor, in exciting these children to commit felonies.
~~253~~~ At this moment their attention was suddenly called to another subject, by a loud huzza from a combination of voices at no great distance from where they then were, and in a few minutes a considerable concourse of dustmen and others appeared in view.
”There is something in the wind,” said Dashall, ”we must have a look at these gentry, for there is frequently some humour among them.
”I hope,” replied Bob, ”they have not overturned the dustcart in the wind, for I am apprehensive in such a case we should scarcely have eyes to view their frolics.”
Tom laughed at the ready turn of his Cousin, and remarking that all flesh was dust, proceeded towards the increasing party: here they soon found out; that, as a venerable son of the fan-tailed-hat fraternity described it, ”a screw was loose.”
”Perhaps,” inquired Bob, ”it is the linch-pin.” ”Why aye, mayhap as how that there may be the case for aught I knows about it. Howsomdever, I'll tell you all about it:--first and foremost you must know that d.i.c.k n.o.bbs lives down here in Charles-street, and d.i.c.k n.o.bbs has got a wife. Now she is the devil's own darling, and d.i.c.k is a match for her or the devil himself, come from wherever he may, but as good a fellow as ever lapp'd up a pail full of water-gruel; and so you must know as how d.i.c.k has this here very morning been found out, in bed with another man's wife. The other man is a nightman, and rubbish-carter, vhat lives in the same house with d.i.c.k; so this here man being out all night at a job, d.i.c.k gets lushy, and so help me------, he finds his way steady enough into that there man's bed, and vhen that there man comes home, my eyes vhat a blow up! There lays d.i.c.k n.o.bbs fast asleep in the man's wife's arms, so he kicks up a row--d.i.c.k shews fight--and the man comes and tells us all about it; so we are going to try him for a misdemeanor, and he can't help himself no how whatsomedever.”
Tom was alive to the story, and in a few minutes the culprit was conducted to a neighbouring public-house, tried before a whole bench of the society, cast, and condemned to undergo the usual sentence in such cases made and provided, ent.i.tled, ”Burning Shame,” and active preparations were making by those of the fraternity without, to carry into immediate execution the sentence p.r.o.nounced by those within.
~~254~~~ The offender was decorated with a bunch of Christmas in his hat, and two large carrots in the front, to represent horns. In this manner he was mounted on the brawny shoulders of four of his companions, preceded by the crier of the court, another dustman, with a bell, which he rung l.u.s.tily, and at intervals proclaimed the crime of which the culprit had been found guilty. After the crier, followed eight more of the brotherhood, two and two, their hats ornamented with bunches of holly, and a burning candle in the front of each hat. Then came the culprit, carried as already described, with a pot of heavy wet in one hand, and a pipe of tobacco in the other, which he occasionally smoaked, stooping forward to light it at one of the candles in the fantail hats of his two front supporters. The rear of this ludicrous procession was brought up by several other dustmen and coalheavers, and their ladies.
The procession set out from Charles-street, down Drury-lane, Great Queen-street, Wild-street, and round Clare Market, followed by an immense crowd, which kept increasing as they went, and nearly rendered the streets impa.s.sable. Two collectors were appointed, one on each side of the street, and were very active in levying contributions among the spectators to defray the expenses. They stopped at several public-houses, where they quaffed off oceans of heavy wet, and numerous streamlets of old Jamaica, and then returned to headquarters in Charles-street, where the offence was drowned in drink, and they and their ladies pa.s.sed the remainder of the evening, as happy as beer and gin, rum and tobacco, could make them.
Having witnessed a considerable part of this ceremonious proceeding, and been informed of the intended finale, our friends, who began to feel somewhat uncomfortable for want of refreshment and rest, proposed returning home; and having thrown themselves into a hack, they in a short time arrived at Piccadilly.
CHAPTER XIX
”'If in Real Life's chapter you e'er tind a blank, 'Tis yourself and you only you justly can thank; For to him who is willing--there's no need to stand, Since enough may be found 'twixt Mile End and the Strand To instruct, to inform, to disgust or invite, To deplore, to respect, to regret or delight.”
”'Tis in London where unceasing novelty grows, Always fresh--and in bloom like the opening rose; But if to the rose we its sweetness compare, ”fis as freely confess'd many thorus gather there; And if to avoid the latter you're p.r.o.ne, 'Tis at least quite as well, where they are, should be known.”
~~255~~~ The arrival at Piccadilly turned out to be truly agreeable to our friends, who were scarcely dressed and seated at the breakfast-table, before they were surprised by the unexpected appearance of an old friend, whose company and conversation had upon many occasions afforded them so much pleasure and information. This was no other than Sparkle.
”My dear boy,” said the Hon. Tom Dashall, ”you are welcome to the scene of former gratifications. How is your better half, and all friends in the country--any increase in the family? Why you look as healthy as Hygeia, and as steady as old time.”
”I confess,” replied Sparkle, ”you ask so many questions upon important subjects in one breath, that I am quite deficient of wind to answer them seriatim. You must therefore take an answer in two words--all's right.”
”Enough,” replied Tom, ”then I am content; but how, what,--are you in town alone?”
”You shall know all in time, but don't drive on too hard. I am glad to meet you again in the regions of fun, frolic, and humour, of which I doubt not there is, as there always was, a plentiful stock. Glad to see you both in good health and tip-top spirits. I have only come to pa.s.s a fortnight with you; and as I intend to make the utmost use of every minute of the time, don't let us waste in empty words what would be better employed in useful deeds.”
~~256~~~ ”Useful deeds,” re-echoed Tom, ”useful deeds--that savours of reflection. I thought you were fully aware it is an article considered of little value in the labyrinths of London; but since you are become, as I may venture to presume, a useful man, what may be the objects upon which you propose to practise your utility?”
”Still the same I find, Tom; all life, spirit, and gaiety, nothing like a hit, and I suppose you now think you have a palpable one. Never mind, I am not easily disconcerted, therefore you may play off the artillery of your wit without much chance of obtaining a triumph; but however, in plain words, I expect to be a happy father in about another month.”
”O ho!” said Tom, ”then you are really a useful member of society, and I suppose are merely come up to town for the purpose of picking up a little more useful information and instruction how to perform the part of Papa.”
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