Part 87 (2/2)

On the right of the Palace, the attention of the party was next attracted by Marlborough House. It was built in the reign of Queen Anne, by the public, at the expense of 40,000L. on part of the royal gardens, and given by the Queen and Parliament, on a long lease, to the great Duke of Marlborough. It is a handsome building, much improved of late years, and has a garden extending to the Park, and forms a striking contrast to the adjoining Palace of St. James's. It is now the town residence of his Royal Highness, Prince Leopold of Saxe Cobourg.

Our party now pa.s.sed into St. James's-street, where Miss Macgilligan, whose acerbitude of temper had been much softened by the politeness of her friends during the morning's ramble, mentioned, that she had a visit to make on an occasion of etiquette, and requesting the honour of the gentlemen's company to dinner, she was handed by the Squire of Belville-hall, with all due gallantry and obeisance, into a hackney-chariot; Tom in the meanwhile noting its number, in the antic.i.p.ation of its ultimately proving a requisite precaution.

The trio, now left to their own pursuits, lounged leisurely up St.

James's-street, and pausing at the caricature shop, an incident occurred which placed in a very favorable point of view the Baronet's prompt.i.tude of reply and equanimity of temper. Having had recourse to his gla.s.ses, lie stood on the pavement, examining the prints, un.o.bservant of any other object; when a porter with a load brushed hastily forward, and coming in contact with the Baronet, put him, involuntarily, by the violence of the shock, to the left about face, without the word either of caution or command. ”d.a.m.n your spectacles!” at same time, exclaimed the fellow; ”Thank you, my good friend,” rejoined Sir Felix,--”it is not the first time that my spectacles have saved my eyes!”

~~235~~~ Remarking on this rencounter, Dashall observed, that the insolence of these fellows was become really a public nuisance. Armed in the panoply of arrogance, they a.s.sume the right of the footway, to the ejection, danger, and frequent injury of other pa.s.sengers; moving in a direct line with loads that sometimes stretch on either side the width of the pavement, they dash onward, careless whom they may run against, or what mischief may ensue. ”I would not,” continued Dashall, ”cla.s.s them with beasts of burthen, and confine them to the carriage-way of the street, like other brutes of that description; but I would have them placed under the control of some salutary regulations, and humanized under the dread of punishment.”

The Squire coincided with his friend in opinion, and added, by way of ill.u.s.tration, that it was only a few days since he witnessed a serious accident occasioned by the scandalous conduct of a porter: the fellow bore on his shoulders a chest of drawers, a corner of which, while he forced his way along the pavement, struck a young lady a stunning blow on the head, bringing her violently to the ground, and falling against a shop window, one of her hands went through a pane of gla.s.s, by which she was severely cut; thus sustaining a double injury, either of which might have been attended with fatal consequences.

The three friends had now gained the fas.h.i.+onable lounge of Bond-street, whence turning into Conduit-street, they entered Limmer's Coffee-house, for the purpose of closing, by refreshment, the morning's excursion.

Here Dashall recognized an old acquaintance in the person of an eminent physician, who, after an interchange of civilities, resumed his attention to the daily journals.

In the same box with this gentleman, and directly opposite, sat another, whose health was apparently on the decline, who finding that the ingenious physician had occasionally dropped into this coffee-house, had placed himself _vis-a-vis_ the doctor, and made many indirect efforts to withdraw his attention from the newspaper to examine the index of his (the invalid's) const.i.tution. He at last ventured a bold push at once, in the following terms: ”Doctor,” said he, ”I have for a long time been very far from being well, and as I belong to an office, where I am obliged to attend everyday, the complaints I have prove very troublesome to me, ~~236~~~ and I would be glad to remove them.”--The doctor laid down his paper, and regarded his patient with a steady eye, while he proceeded. ”I have but little appet.i.te, and digest what I eat very poorly; I have a strange swimming in my head,” &c. In short, after giving the doctor a full quarter of an hour's detail of all his symptoms, he concluded the state of his case with a direct question:--”Pray, doctor, what shall I take?” The doctor, in the act of resuming the newspaper, gave him the following laconic prescription:--”Take, why, take advice!”

This colloquy, and its ludicrous result, having been perfectly audible to the company present, afforded considerable entertainment, of which the manoeuvring invalid seemed in no degree willing to partake, for he presently made his exit, without even thanking the doctor for his gratuitous advice.{1}

1 Limmeb's Hotel.--This justly esteemed Hotel was much frequented by the late unfortunate Lord Camelford. Entering the coffee-room one evening, meanly attired, as he often was, he sat down to peruse the papers of the day. Soon after came in a ”das.h.i.+ng fellow,” a ”first-rate blood,” who threw himself into the opposite seat of the same box with Lord C, and in a most consequential tone hallowed out, ”Waiter!

bring in a pint of Madeira, and a couple of wax candles, and put them in the next box.” He then drew to him Lord C.'s candle, and set himself to read. His Lords.h.i.+p glanced at him a look of indignation, but exerting his optics a little more, continued to decypher his paper. The waiter soon re- appeared, and with a mult.i.tude of obsequious bows, announced his having completed the commands of the gentleman, who immediately lounged round into his box. Lord Camelford having finished his paragraph, called out in a mimic tone to that of Mr.-----, ”Waiter! bring me a pair of snuffers.”

These were quickly brought, when his Lords.h.i.+p laid down his paper, walked round to the box in which Mr.-----was, snuffed out both the candles, and leisurely returned to his seat.

Boiling with rage and fury, the indignant beau roared out, ”Waiter! waiter! waiter! who the devil is this fellow, that dares thus to insult a gentleman? Who is he? What is he?

What do they call him?”--”Lord Camelford, Sir,” said the waiter.--”Who? Lord Camelford!” returned the former, in a tone of voice scarcely audible; horror-struck at the recollection of his own impertinence, and almost doubting whether he was still in existence--”Lord Camelford!!! What have I to pay?” On being told, he laid down his score, and actually stole away, without daring to taste his Madeira.

~~237~~~ The repast ended, the friends separated; Sir Felix to rejoin his august relative at their lodgings, and arrange with her preparations for the entertainment of Tom and Bob, and these two gentlemen also returning homewards to dress for the important occasion.

Pa.s.sing the house of his tailor, the Baronet stept in, and desired Mr.

Snip to send to his lodgings, any time in the course of the evening, for the last new suit, for the purpose of alteration, as had been already pointed out.

Miss Macgilligan had preceded her nephew in reaching home, and gave him, on his arrival, an appropriate and edifying lecture on a three-fold subject, embracing--petulancy,--respect to superiors,--and veneration for the memory of our ancestors.

The Baronet, who never designed seriously to insult his aunt, but merely to have a bye-blow at her prominent foible,--pride of descent,--listened with becoming deference to her dissertation, which was interrupted by the entrance of his servant, (the same who on a certain occasion confided to Mother c.u.mmings the safety of his master's property,{1})--”The tailor's boy, Sir Felix, for the new suit your Honor ordered to be altered.”--”Very well,” rejoined Sir Felix, ”sure enough Mr. Snip is prompt in observance of instructions,--let the lad have the suit immediately.”--This business having been despatched, Miss Macgilligan was about to resume her admonitory discourse; when, luckily, the arrival of the expected guests prevented its continuance, and it was consequently postponed until a more favourable opportunity.

1 Vide page 130.

Dinner was shortly announced, during which nothing occurred of particular import. When the exhilirating ”Tuscan grape” had superseded the discarded viands, Miss Macgilligan mentioned, that she had been grossly imposed upon by the driver of the hackney-chariot. It seems, that conceiving Jehu was exacting more than his fare, the lady, presenting a handful of silver, told him to take it all, if he thought proper, and the conscientious knight of the whip had actually embraced the offer in its literal acceptation, and pocketing the money, made the best of his way, before she recovered from the surprise occasioned by this ”iniquitous” transaction.

~~238~~~ ”Iniquitous!” repeated the Baronet;--”by the powers of folly but there was no advantage taken at all, at all; and the man must have been worse than an idiot had he rejected so liberal an offer!

Gra-machree, he might cry, and thanks to the donor, such opportunities don't occur every day.”

Appealing to her guests, she had the mortification of finding the opinion of her nephew supported.--”Certainly, madam,” said Dashall, ”the conduct of the man in putting a construction not meant upon your word, was highly reprehensible; yet I am afraid that redress is unavailable.

A gift was implied, though obviously not intended, but impartially speaking, you tendered a donation, and the man, if not morally right, was legally justifiable in accepting it.”

While this case was under discussion, the baronet chuckled at the mischance of his aunt, and in defiance of the admonition given him a few hours before, seemed more petulant, less respectful, and totally irreverent of his ancestors.

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