Part 60 (1/2)

Entering the s.p.a.cious court, our two friends found a party in waiting for the Conductor. Of the individuals composing this party, the reconnoitering eye of Dashall observed a trio, from whence he antic.i.p.ated considerable amus.e.m.e.nt. It was a family triumvirate, formed of an old Bachelor, whose cent per cent ideas predominated over every other, wheresoever situated or howsoever employed; his maiden Sister, prim, starch and antiquated; and their hopeful Nephew, a complete c.o.xcomb, that is, in full possession of the requisite concomitants--ignorance and impudence, and arrayed in the first style of the most exquisite dandyism. This delectable triumviri had emerged from their chaotic recess in Bearbinder-lane; the Exquisite, to exhibit his sweet person along with the other curiosities of the Museum; his maiden Aunt, to see, as she expressed it, the ”_He-gipsyian munhuments, kivered with kerry-glee-fix_;” and her Brother, to ascertain whether, independent of outlandish baubles, gimcracks and gewgaws, there was any thing of substantiality with which to enhance the per contra side in the Account Current between the British Museum and the Public!

Attaching themselves to this respectable trio, Dashall and Tallyho followed, with the other visitants, the Guide, whose duty it that day was to point out the various curiosities of this great national inst.i.tution.

The British Museum was established by act of parliament, in 1753, in pursuance of the will of Sir Hans Sloane, who left his museum to the nation, on condition that Parliament should pay 20,000L. to his Executors, and purchase a house sufficiently commodious for it. The parliament acted with great liberality on the occasion; several other valuable collections were united to that of Sir Hans Sloane, and the whole establishment was completed for the sum of 85,000L. raised by lottery. At the inst.i.tution of this grand treasury of learning, it was proposed that a competent part of 1800L. the annual sum granted by parliament for the support of the house, should be appropriated for the purchase of new books; but the salaries necessary for the officers, together with the contingent expenses, have always exceeded the allowance; so that the Trustees have been repeatedly ~10~~ obliged to make application to defray the necessary charges.

Mr. Timothy Surety, the before mentioned Bearbinder-lane resident, of cent per cent rumination; his accomplished sister, Tabitha; his exquisite nephew, Jasper; and the redoubtable heroes of our eventful history, were now a.s.sociated in one party, and the remaining visitants were sociably amalgamated in another; and each having its separate Conductor, both proceeded to the inspection of the first and most valuable collection in the universe.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page10 British Museum]

On entering the gate, the first objects which attracted attention were two large sheds, defending from the inclemency of the seasons a collection of Egyptian monuments, the whole of which were taken from the French at Alexandria, in the last war. The most curious of these, perhaps, is the large Sarcophagus beneath the shed to the left, which has been considered as the exterior coffin of Alexander the Great, used at his final interment. It is formed of variegated marble, and, as Mrs.

Tabitha Surety observed, was ”_kivered with Kerry-glee-fix_.”

”Nephew Jasper,” said his Uncle, ”you are better acquainted with the nomenclature, I think you call it, of them there _thing-um-bobs_ than I am--what is the name of this here?”

”My dear Sir,” rejoined the Exquisite, ”this here is called a _Sark o'

Fegus_, implying the domicile, or rather, the winding-sheet of the dead, as the sark or chemise wound itself round the fair forms of the daughters of O'Fegus, a highland Chieftain, from whom descended Philip of Macedon, father of Alexander the Great; and thence originated the name subsequently given by the highland laird's successors, to the dormitory of the dead, the Sark o' Fegus, or in the corruption of modern orthography, Sarcophagus.”

Timothy Surety cast an approving glance towards his Nephew, and whispering Dashall, ”My Nephew, Sir, apparently a puppy, Sir, but well informed, nevertheless--what think you of his definition of that hard word? Is he not, I mean my Nephew Jaz, a most extraordinary young man?”

”Superlatively so,” answered Dashall, ”and I think you are happy in bearing affinity to a young man of such transcendent acquirements.”

~11~~”D--n his acquirements!” exclaimed Timothy; ”would you think it, they are of no use in the way of trade, and though I have given him many an opportunity of doing well, he knows no more of keeping a set of books by double-entry, than Timothy Surety does of keeping a pack of hounds, who was never twenty miles beyond the hearing of Bow bells in all his lifetime!”

This important communication, having been made apart from the recognition of the Aunt and Nephew, pa.s.sed on their approach, unanswered; and Dashall and his friend remained in doubt whether or not the Nephew, in his late definition of the word Sarcophagus, was in jest or earnest: Tallyho inclined to think that he was hoaxing the old gentleman; on the other hand, his Cousin bethought himself, that the apparent ingenuity of Jaz's definition was attributable entirely to his ignorance.

Here also were two statues of Roman workmans.h.i.+p, supposed to be those of Marcus Aurelius and Severus, ancient, but evidently of provincial sculpture.

Mrs. Tabitha, shading her eyes with her fan, and casting a glance askew at the two naked figures, which exhibited the perfection of symmetry, enquired of her Nephew who they were meant to represent.

His answer was equally eccentric with that accorded to his Uncle on the subject of the Sarcophagus.

”My dear Madam!” said Jaz, ”these two figures are consanguineous to those of Gog and Magog in Guildhall, being the lineal descendants of these mighty a.s.sociates of the Livery of London!”

”But, Jaz” rejoined the antique dame, ”I always understood that Messieurs Gog and Magog derived their origin from quite a different family.”

”Aunt of mine,” responded Jaz, ”the lofty rubicunded Civic Baronet shall not be 'shorn of his beams;' he claims the same honour with his brainless brothers before us-he is a scion of the same tree; Sir W*ll**m, the twin brothers of Guildhall, and these two sedate Gentlemen of stone, all boast the honour of the same extraction!”

Behind them, on the right, was a ram's head of very curious workmans.h.i.+p, from Thebes.

”Perhaps, Sir,” said Mrs. Tabitha, graciously addressing herself to 'Squire Tallyho, ”you can inform us what may be the import of this singular exhibition?”

”On my honour, Madam,” answered the 'Squire, ”I cannot satisfactorily resolve the enquiry; I am a country ~12~~ gentleman, and though conversant with rains and rams' horns in my own neighbourhood, have no knowledge of them with reference to the connexion of the latter with the Citizens of London or Westminster!”

Jaz again a.s.sumed the office of expositor.--”My very reverend Aunt,”

said Jaz, ”I must prolegomenize the required explanation with a simple anecdote:--

”When Charles the Second returned from one of his northern tours, accompanied by the Earl of Rochester, he pa.s.sed through Sh.o.r.editch. On each side the road was a huge pile of rams' horns, for what purpose tradition saith not. 'What is the meaning of all this?' asked the King, pointing towards the symbolics. 'I know not,' rejoined Rochester, 'unless it implies that the Citizens of London have laid their heads together, to welcome your Majesty's return!' In commemoration of this witticism, the ram's head is to the Citizens of London a prominent feature of exhibition in the British Museum.”

This interpretation raised a laugh at the expense of Timothy Surety, who, nevertheless, bore it with great good humour, being a bachelor, and consequently not within the scope of that ridicule on the basis of which was founded the present sarcastic fabric.