Part 15 (1/2)

”Sure won't you hear What roaring cheer Was spread at Paddy's wedding O, And how so gay They spent the day, From the churching to the bedding O.

First book in hand came Father Quipes, With the Bride's dadda, the Bailey O, While all the way to church the pipes Struck up a jilt so gaily O.

”_Kim ap_--be after sitting fast in the front there, old Mapps, or you'll make a mud-lark of yourself.” The Dustman rang his bell; and thus accompanied with an immense a.s.semblage of boys, girls, men, women, and

1 Gills--The mouth.

2 Pig's Whisper--A very common term for speed.

3 Beat to a dead stand still--Means completely unable to a.s.sist himself.

~124~~children, collected from all the courts and alleys in the neighbourhood, joining in a chorus of shouts that rent the air, poor Balaam continued to bear his load; while our party, after watching them till nearly out of sight, pa.s.sed down Harp-alley into Fleet-market,” and turning to the right, very soon regained Fleet-Street, laughing heartily at the bull's cookery of mackarel b.u.t.tered with brick-dust, and very well satisfied with their spree.

Engaged in conversation upon this adventure, they found nothing of interest' or amus.e.m.e.nt to attract their notice till they arrived at the warehouse of the London Genuine Tea Company, except merely remarking the grand appearance of St. Paul's, from that situation.

”Genuine tea” said Bob; ”what can that mean--Is tea any thing but tea?”

”To be sure it is,” said Sparkle, ”or has been--_any_thing but tea,”{l} strongly marking the latter part of the

1 Tea and Coffee--The adulteration of articles of human food is a practice of the most nefarious description, and cannot be too strongly deprecated, although it has been carried to an alarming extent. There is scarcely an article of ordinary consumption but has been unlawfully adulterated, and in many cases rendered injurious by the infamous and fraudulent practice of interested persons. Bread, which is considered to be the staff of life, and beer and ale the universal beverage of the people of this country, are known to be frequently mixed with drugs of the most pernicious quality.

Gin, that favourite and heart-inspiring cordial of the lower orders of society, that it may have the grip, or the appearance of being particularly strong, is frequently adulterated with the decoction of long pepper, or a small quant.i.ty of aqua-fortis, a deadly poison. Sugar has been known to be mixed with sand; and tobacco, for the public- houses, undergoes a process for making it strong and intoxicating; but the recent discovery of the nefarious practice of adulterating tea and coffee, articles of the most universal and extensive consumption, deserves particular reprehension.

Tea has been adulterated by the introduction of dried sloe leaves; the practice is not very new, but its extensive adoption, and the deleterious properties ascribed to them by physicians, have been, at length, successfully exposed by the conviction of many of the venders, so, it is hoped, as to prevent a repet.i.tion of the crime. The sloe leaf, though a spurious commodity when sold as tea, might afford a harmless vegetable infusion, and be recommended to the poor and frugal as a cheap succedaneum for the Chinese vegetable.

The establishment of the Genuine Tea Company on Ludgate-hill originated in the recent discoveries, promising to sell nothing but the Unadulterated Tea, and it is sincerely to be hoped has done some good.

~125~~sentence as he spoke it: ”horse-beans have been converted to coffee, and sloe-leaves have been transformed into tea; hog's lard has been manufactured for b.u.t.ter; an ingenious gentleman wishes to persuade us _Periwinkles_{1} are young Lobsters; and another has proposed to extract sugar, and some say brandy, out of pea-sh.e.l.ls! London is the mart for inventions and discoveries of all kinds, and every one of its inhabitants appears to have studied something of the art of Legerdemain, to catch the eye and deceive the senses.”

”Wonderful!” exclaimed Bob.

”Not more wonderful than true,” continued Sparkle; ”invention is always on the stretch in London. Here we have cast-iron Bridges{2}--a cast-iron Sugar-house--

1 Sparkle appears to have been rather sceptical on the subject of Periwinkles being young Lobsters, though the opinion is not very new. A gentleman, whose indefatigable research appears to be deserving of encouragement and support, has recently issued the following advertis.e.m.e.nt, inviting the curious and the learned to inspect the result of his discoveries, which seems, at least, to warrant something more than conjecture.

”J. Cleghorne having in his possession some specimens which prove, in his opinion, a circ.u.mstance before suggested, but treated by the scientific as a vulgar error, any known naturalist willing to view them, by noticing by letter, within a week, may have J. C. attend with his specimens. The subject is a curious change in the formation of Lobsters from various species of the Winkle, the Winkle being considered the larva;.

The only advantage J. C. desires from the communication is, the credit of advancing his proofs, and the stimulating further enquiry.--A line addressed to J. Cleghorne, Architectural Engraver, No. 19, Chapman-street, Black-road, Islington, will have immediate attention.”

It is sincerely to be hoped that proper notice will be taken of this advertis.e.m.e.nt, for in times of general scarcity like the present, such a discovery might be turned to great national advantage, by the establishment of proper depots for the cultivation of lobsters, as we have preserves for game, &c.

2 Cast-iron has become an object of general utility. The Southwark or New London Bridge consists of three arches, the centre of which is a span of 240 feet, and the other two 210 feet each; the Vauxhall Bridge consists of nine arches, over a width of 809 feet; and it is a fact, that a Sugar-house is building with cast-iron floors, window-frames, and rafters, to prevent fire. Cast-iron holds fire and resists fire; but it is probable that all its properties and powers are not yet discovered, and that we may some day or other witness the ascension of a cast-iron balloon inflated with steam!

~126~~coaches running, and barges, packets, and sailing-boats navigated, by Steam{1}--St. Paul's, as you perceive, without its ball--smoke burning itself, and money burning men's consciences.”

”Well done, Sparkle!” cried Tom; ”your ideas seem to flow like gas, touch but the valve and off you go; and you are equally diffusive, for you throw a light upon all subjects.”

Bob was now suddenly attracted by a full view of himself and his friends at the further end of Everington's{2}

1 Steam--Here is a subject that evaporates as we approach; it soars beyond finite comprehension, and appears to be inexhaustible--every thing is done by it--machinery of every kind is set in motion by it--a newspaper of the most extensive circulation in the kingdom is printed by it, and the paper supplied sheet by sheet to receive the impression.

Tobacco is manufactured, and sausage-meat cut, by steam-- nay, a celebrated Vender of the latter article had a.s.serted, that his machinery was in such a state of progressive improvement, that he had little doubt before long of making it supply the demands of his customers, and thereby save the expense of a Shopman; but, it is much to be regretted, his apparatus made sausage-meat of him before the accomplishment of his project.

Considering the increasing, and by some Philosophers almost overwhelming population of the country at the present moment, it is certainly an alarming circ.u.mstance, that when employment is so much required, mechanical science should so completely supersede it to the injury of thousands, independent of the many who have lost their lives by the blowing up of steam-engines. It is a malady however which must be left to our political economists, who will doubtless at the same time determine which would prove the most effectual remedy--the recommendation of Mr. Malthus to condemn the lower orders to celibacy--the Jack Tars to a good war--or the Ministers to emigration.