Part 7 (2/2)
”It must have been late last night, then,” said Dashall, ~70~~”for he left us about half-past ten, and promised also to meet us again this morning at eleven; I can't think what can have become of him--but come,”
said he, taking Bob by the arm, ”we must keep moving--Good morning--good morning.” And thus saying, walked directly out of the house, turning to the right again towards Piccadilly.
”There is a remark made, I think by Goldsmith,” said Tom, ”that one half of the world don't know how the other half lives; and the man I spoke to in the coffee-room, whose name I am unacquainted with, though his person is recognized by almost every body, while his true character, residence, and means of subsistence, remain completely in obscurity, from what I have seen of him, I judge is what may be termed a _hanger on_.”
”A hanger on,” said Bob--”what can that mean? I took him for a man of property and high birth--but I saw you take so little notice of him.”
”Ah! my good fellow, I have already cautioned you not to be duped by appearances. A _hanger on_ is a sort of sycophant, or toad-eater, and, in the coffee-houses and hotels of London, many such are to be found--men who can _spin out a long yarn_, tell a tough story, and tip you _a rum chant_--who invite themselves by a freedom of address bordering on impudence to the tables and the parties of persons they know, by pretending to call in by mere accident, just at the appointed time: by a.s.suming great confidence, great haste, little appet.i.te, and much business; but, at the same time, requiring but little pressure to forego them all for the pleasure of the company present. What he can have to do with Sparkle I am at a loss to conceive; but he is an insinuating and an intriguing sort of fellow, whom I by no means like, so I cut him.”
Bob did not exactly understand the meaning of the word cut, and therefore begged his Cousin to explain.
”The cut,” said Tom, ”is a fas.h.i.+onable word for getting rid, by rude or any means, of any person whose company is not agreeable. The art of _cutting_ is reduced to a system in London; and an explanatory treatise has been written on the subject for the edification of the natives.{1} But I am so bewildered to think what can have detained Sparkle, and deprived us of his company, that I scarcely know how to think for a moment on any other subject at present.”
1 Vide a small volume ent.i.tled ”The Cutter.”
~71~~”It is somewhat strange!” cried Bob, ”that he was not with you this morning.”
”There is some mystery in it,” said Tom, ”which time alone can unravel; but however, we will not be deprived of our intended ramble.” At this moment they entered Piccadilly, and were crossing the road in their way to St. James's Street, when Dashall nodded to a gentleman pa.s.sing by on the opposite side, and received a sort of half bow in return. ”That,”
said Tom, ”is a curious fellow, and a devilish clever fellow too--for although he has but one arm, he is a man of science.”
”In what way?” enquired Bob.
”He is a pugilist,” said Tom--”one of those courageous gentlemen who can queer the daylights, tap the claret, prevent telling fibs, and pop the noddle into chancery; and a devilish good hand he is, I can a.s.sure you, among those who
----”can combat with ferocious strife, And beat an eye out, or thump out a life; Can bang the ribs in, or bruise out the brains, And die, like n.o.ble blockheads, for their pains.”
[Ill.u.s.tration: page71 Fives Court]
”Having but one arm, of course he is unable to figure in the ring--though he attends the mills, and is a constant visitor at the Fives Court exhibitions, and generally appears _a la Belcher_. He prides himself upon flooring a novice, and hits devilish hard with the glove. I have had some lessons from this amateur of the old English science, and felt the force of his fist; but it is a very customary thing to commence in a friendly way, till the knowing one finds an opportunity which he cannot resist, of shewing the superiority he possesses. So it was with Harry and me, when he put on his glove. I use the singular number, because he has but one hand whereon to place a glove withal. Come, said he, it shall only be a little innocent spar. I also put on a glove, for it would not be fair to attack a one-armed man with two, and no one ought to take the odds in combat. To it we went, and I shewed _first blood_, for he tapped _the claret_ in no time.
”Neat _milling we had_, what with _clouts on the n.o.b_, Home hits in the _bread-basket_, clicks in the gob, And plumps in the daylights, a prettier treat Between two _Johnny Raws_ 'tis not easy to meet.”
~72~~”I profited however by Harry's lessons, and after a short time was enabled to return the compliment with interest, by sewing up one of his _glimmers_.
”This is St. James's Street,” continued he, as they turned the corner rather short; in doing which, somewhat animated by the description he had just been giving, Tom's foot caught the toe of a gentleman, who was mincing along the pathway with all the care and precision of a dancing-master, which had the effect of bringing him to the ground in an instant as effectually as a blow from one of the fancy. Tom, who had no intention of giving offence wantonly, apologized for the misfortune, by--”I beg pardon, Sir,” while Bob, who perceived the poor creature was unable to rise again, and apprehending some broken bones, a.s.sisted him to regain his erect position. The poor animal, or nondescript, yclept Dandy, however had only been prevented the exercise of its limbs by the stiffness of certain appendages, without which its person could not be complete--the _stays_, lined with whalebone, were the obstacles to its rising. Being however placed in its natural position, he began in an affected bl.u.s.tering tone of voice to complain that it was d----d odd a gentleman could not walk along the streets without being incommoded by puppies--pulled out his quizzing gla.s.s, and surveyed our heroes from head to foot--then taking from his pocket a smelling bottle, which, by application to the nose, appeared to revive him, Tom declared he was sorry for the accident, had no intention, and hoped he was not hurt.
This, however, did not appear to satisfy the offended Dandy, who turned upon his heel muttering to himself the necessity there was of preventing drunken fellows from rambling the streets to the annoyance of sober and genteel people in the day-time.
Dashall, who overheard the substance of his e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.i.o.n, broke from the arm of Bob, and stepping after him without ceremony, by a sudden wheel placed himself in the front of him, so as to impede his progress a second time; a circ.u.mstance which filled Mr. Fribble with additional alarm, and his agitation became visibly' depicted on his countenance.
”What do you mean?” cried Dashall, with indignation, taking the imputation of drunkenness at that early hour in dudgeon. ”Who, and what are you, ~73~~Sir?{1} Explain instantly, or by the honour of a gentleman, I'll chastise this insolence.”
1 ”What are you?” is a formidable question to a dandy of the present day, for
”Dandy's a gender of the doubtful kind; A something, nothing, not to be defined; 'Twould puzzle worlds its s.e.x to ascertain, So very empty, and so very vain.”
It is a fact that the following examination of three of these non-descripts took place at Bow Street a very short time back, in consequence of a nocturnal fracas. The report was thus given:
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