Part 26 (1/2)
Slowly happiness bloomed inside Ali. He meant it. This wasn't just a hormone blast. He honestly wanted to walk away from his job.
So what did it mean? ”We'll stay in Eternity Springs, then?”
”I'd like that, yes, but other options are certainly open to discussion. I've learned my lesson, Alison. Your wishes and desires are just as important as mine.”
Wow. Just wow. ”We can build a house at Heartache Falls.”
”I'd like Gabe Callahan to design the landscape. Have you seen the pool he did at Eagle's Way? It's fabulous.”
Excitement sparked and began to burn. Ali gazed around the New Place and thought that the dream had never completely died, after all. Ali turned to hug her husband, but the expression on his face stopped her cold. His chin was set. His eyes were hard. ”What's wrong?”
”I'm not done. I need to tell you something else.” He sighed like a condemned prisoner, then added, ”Something else to confess.”
No. Oh, no. Not now. Not when true, happily-ever-after, life-can't-get-any-better-than-this joy is right within my grasp. ”No, Mac. That's okay. Whatever it is, I don't want to know.”
”I need to tell you.”
She held up her hand, palm out. ”I don't need to hear it! I don't care, Mac. I don't care if you have a gambling habit or a sister who's a p.o.r.n star or a newly discovered predilection for cross-dressing, I don't need to know about it.”
”Ali, I'm sorry. I'm so very, very sorry, but we need honesty between us. This lie, my guilt, is a cancer in our marriage and it needs to be cut out. I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you if only you'll forgive me.”
What lie could he have told that would make him feel this miserable? Oh, G.o.d. Ali thought her heart might break in two. ”Did you have an affair, Mac?”
He drew back, obviously offended. ”No! That's not it at all.”
”Fine, then forget it.” She tried to walk away. He reached for her hand and stopped her.
”No. Ali, I need you to know ...” He raked his fingers through his hair, filled his lungs with air, then exhaled in a rush. ”I targeted you.”
She frowned. He targeted me?
”Back when we were in college, I acted like Brenda's boy. From the moment I hit South Bend, I was on the hunt. I was looking for a girl just like you. After we met that first time? I did my research on you. I found out who your father was, and I figured out that being his son-in-law could help me in my career, so I set out to win you. I wasn't going to let you get away from me.”
All right. Well, that's not so bad.
But it obviously wasn't all. The man looked miserable. He looked tortured. ”For heaven's sake, Mackenzie. What did you do?”
”I got you pregnant, Alison.”
”Um, yes, I know.”
”I wanted you to get pregnant. I didn't want to risk losing you.”
The confession hung on the air. Ali waited for more. More didn't come. ”That's it? That's your big confession?”
Closing his eyes, he nodded.
She took a moment to absorb that, and then another minute to think it through. ”Why me?”
”What do you mean?” Now he scowled at her. ”I just told you.”
”Not really. There were other girls at Notre Dame who had well-connected fathers. Lots of them. You were a jock. A big man on campus. You could have had any girl.”
”I wanted you.”
”Because of my dad?”
”Yeah.”
Ali folded her arms. ”What about Larisa Holcomb? She had a crush on you, and if I recall correctly, her father was a judge on the Illinois Supreme Court.”
”So?”
”Or what about Theresa Williams? Her father was a partner in a San Francisco firm that's twice the size of Dad's firm. Then there was the girl from Georgia. What was her name-Pansy? No, Puffy. What sort of name was that, anyway? She totally had the hots for you.”
”I didn't want her,” Mac snapped. ”I didn't want any of those girls. I wanted you.”
”Why?”
He shot her a hot, frustrated glare. ”Because I was in love with you!”
There. Was it that hard? Ali couldn't suppress a smile. ”I see. So let me see if I have this straight. When you were eighteen, you started looking for a potential wife. You found someone you liked, someone who met your preconceived criteria, and you asked her on a date. Over time, you developed a relations.h.i.+p with this girl, and over the next two years, at a time mutually acceptable to you both, that relations.h.i.+p became a s.e.xual one. As often happens in such circ.u.mstances, a child was conceived.”
He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. ”Alison, I wasn't stupid. I knew it wasn't your safe time, and I didn't use the condom I had in my pocket. I wanted you to get pregnant. I was my mother's son and I wanted to tie you to me.”
”Because you wanted my dad's support.”
”Yes.”
”And because you loved me.”
”Yes.”
”And because you wanted to build a life with me, make a home with me, have a family with me.”
”Yes!”
”What about being my friend and my spouse and my lover for the rest of our lives? I'll bet you wanted that, too, didn't you? Why, Mackenzie Timberlake, that is such a horrible sin to confess! I'm appalled. Do you want me to call Reverend Hart so you can confess to him? I know neither one of you is Catholic, but maybe you'd feel better.”
”Come on, Ali.” Unwilling to quit, he folded his arms. ”I seduced you.”
”Come on yourself!” She braced her hands on her hips and advanced on him. ”Has this really been eating away at you for all these years? For crying out loud, Mac. That's sad. And stupid. Sad and stupid.
”In that case, I have a question for you. One question.” She held up her index finger. ”At what time in our relations.h.i.+p did I give you control over my hormones?”
”Excuse me?”