Part 40 (1/2)
They came to a section where the tree trunks resembled the spines of books, complete with print. Two, close together, formed a gateway. In front of it was an armored knight on a steed galloping in circles.
Para halted. ”What's that?” Pia asked.
”That's Sir Q Lation,” Breanna answered. ”Hi, Q! Feeling smart today?”
”Very well rounded, thank you,” the knight replied courteously. ”Do you wish me to show you around?”
”No, thank you,” Breanna said ”We're going straight through, this time.”
”As you wish.” The knight guided his armored mount to the side, and Para waddled on through the gate.
Just inside was an ogre stamping his big hairy feet. They left little marks on the pile of cards beneath. ”That's the date stamper.” Breanna said. ”Hi, can I have a date?”
”For sure, paramour,” the ogre responded with something like a smile. He tossed her a card with a date on it. If there had been any doubt before, now it was clear that Breanna had been here before.
Then there was a solid man sitting at a desk shaped like a huge tome. ”Hi, d.i.c.k,” Breanna said. But the man stared stolidly ahead, not deigning to answer. ”That's d.i.c.k Shunary,” Breanna explained ”He won't speak a word to anyone, though he knows every word in the book.” She did not seem annoyed.
After a moment, Pia got it: shun In dictionary. A verbal pun.
”Let's see. there's a map in here somewhere, if we can find it.” Breanna said. Para wove along different paths, searching. They came to a glade with a pattern of gra.s.s and sand, like a miniature golf course. ”At last.”
”At last what?” Pia asked.
”We finally found the map.” She indicated the pattern, and Pia realized that it was indeed a map, with the sand marking paths.
”Atlas,” Edsel murmured ”Atlas at last.”
Oh. Pia could have done without that.
They followed a path to a number of warriors doing a dance of victory. ”That's the Conquer Dance,” Breanna said.
”Concordance,” Edsel murmured. He had more of a mind for this nonsense.
Beyond the dance was a dead tree. A feline snoozed in its bare branches. ”Catalog.” Edsel said.
”Can't we just get on out of here?” Pia inquired, pained.
”It does get rather wearing.” Justin agreed. ”Magic is the main thing that distinguishes Xanth. but surely its second attribute is puns ”
They pa.s.sed a tree with dampish small fruit. ”Dew date.” Breanna said happily.
Then there was a dolorous researcher poring over a several volume set. ”Sigh Clopedia.” Breanna said.
”I do love her.” Justin said. ”Even here.”
Breanna faced him. ”Shut up or I'll use the card file on you.”
”Card file?” Pia asked, unable to stop herself.
”It trims the edges of the King, Queen. Jack, and so on.” the girl explained with a straight face. ”And there are some book jackets.” Pia looked. Sure enough, there were s.h.i.+vering books with warm jackets.
They pa.s.sed a moving picture of young women dancing and removing items of apparel. ”Para!” Breanna said severely ”I told you not to go by the film strip.”
”That's quite all right.” Edsel said, watching avidly.
The boat veered, taking them by a high building. ”What's this doing here in the library forest?” Pia asked.
”It's a story collection.”
”You walked into that one.” Edsel said.
They peered up to the thirteenth floor, where spirits flitted in and out of the windows. ”Don't tell me. let me guess.” Edsel said. ”That's a ghost story.”
”Enough!” Pia cried. ”Get me out of here!”
”She really means it,” Edsel warned Breanna.
”Yes. she's series,” the girl agreed.
If Pia had had a pillow, she would have whammed them with it. Fortunately the exit loomed. There was only one insubstantial plant barring their way. ”Through that mist tree,” Breanna told the boat.
Edsel opened his mouth to say something smart, but caught Pia's dagger of a glance.
”We found our way out because we have the indecks.” Breanna said, patting the interior of the boat.
Index. The female dog was still doing it.
But now they were out of the library and back in normal magic jungle.
”Do you know. I once met a lady who gave nothing but opposites.” Justin remarked innocently. ”Her name was Ami Nym. I believe she would have felt at home at that library.”
”But we don't really need the library,” Breanna said. ”We can see the paper view.” She held up a roll of paper.
Pia knew she was going to hate herself, but she had to ask. ”Paper view?”
”You pay for each time you see it.”
”That docs it!” Pia screamed. She jumped out of the boat, landed off-balance, and whirled into the soft side of a cow -like creature. The thing made a soft, sickly ”Mooo!”
”I - I'm sorry.” she said, recovering her balance. ”I did not see you.” The cow looked so sad that all her anger dissipated.
The boat halted, and she climbed back in. ”Moo-sick soothes the savage beast.” Edsel murmured.
Pia tried to summon back her rage, but was worn out.
”Actually, it is the savage breast that is soothed.” Justin said.
”She's got two of those,” Edsel agreed smugly.
”And they are most elegant,” an elephantine creature remarked, leaning over the boat to stare at her blouse.