Part 8 (1/2)
”Good. Because usually Xanthians can't understand Mundanian right away. But you're actually using Mundane bodies, so they must provide you with the language. But how much else do they provide you with? I mean, do you know where everything is?”
”We found the bedrooms,” Chlorine said. ”But there's one room with odd objects.”
”I think you mean the bathroom. You're going to have to get better acquainted with that, and the kitchen.” Kim paused. ”Maybe I'd better take you in, and then Dug can take Nimby in. Only as you said, we'd better not call him that, because-”
”Yes. Call us Pia and Edsel. We understand.” She knew why Kim was hesitant, despite the prior rea.s.surance: she knew Nimby's nature, and didn't want to insult him.
”Right. Okay, Pia, come with me.” Kim led the way upstairs.
They re-entered the bathroom, and Kim closed the door. ”Now this is the sink. You wash your hands here, or a pair of socks, or whatever. Same as in Xanth. Turn this tap for cold water, and this one for hot.” She demonstrated. Sure enough, soon cold water was streaming from one nozzle, and hot water from the other.
”I thought you didn't have magic in Mundania.” Chlorine said, impressed.
”We don't. But we have technology. Sometimes it's almost as good. In Xanth you just use spells to heat the water; here we use electricity.” Kim went to the big metallic depression ”This is the bathtub. Its taps work the same way. You run the water first, and mix it, so you don't burn or freeze. I'll help you set it up, the first time.”
”But why bother?”
”Because you can't use a self-cleaning spell in Mundania. You have to take a bath or shower or equivalent.”
”Thank you.” Chlorine understood the principle of a bath, though she preferred to swim in a magic cleansing pool.
”This is the tough one,” Kim said, going to the funny ceramic object that looked vaguely like a chair. She lifted the wooden seat, and lo, there was a basin below, half filled with clear water. ”This is the toilet. It's like the hole of an outhouse You sit on it and urinate or defecate.”
”Into clean water?” Chloiine asked, horrified.
”Mundania is barbaric in some respects.” Kim said, smiling. ”No illusion to cover the sight or smell. Then when you are done, you turn this handle.” She turned it.
Water surged into the basin and swirled around, then sucked down and disappeared. Then, slowly, more water came, until the bowl was half full again.
”What happens to the water?” Chlorine asked, repelled.
”It flows along a pipe underground, into the sewer. This is a kind of subterranean river that carries wastes away. No need to be concerned about it. Just make sure to use only this for this purpose.”
They returned downstairs, and Dug took Nimby up for a similar demonstration. Chlorine feared he would be appalled, for normally he simply banished all wastes magically, or transformed them into toads. But he had wanted to find out what Mundania was like. This was part of it.
Then Kim took the next step. ”Are you hungry? I must explain that there are no pie trees here: food is more complicated to obtain.”
Chlorine decided not to struggle with that learning process just yet. ”Nim-Edsel would like to see Mundania. The rest of it.”
”We can show you. But I think it's best to start simple. There may be pitfalls, just as there are in Xanth.” Kim paused. ”Outside, I'll just say 'the other place.' You understand.”
”Yes.”
”We'll take you window-shopping at the mall, and maybe see a movie. I think that will be enough outside experience for today.”
”We must purchase windows at a mill?”
Kim laughed. ”Not exactly. I mean we'll just mostly look at things. And it's not a mill. A mall is a big enclosed shopping center. You'll see.”
They went out to the box on wheels. Dug and Nimby climbed into the front of it. and Kim and Chlorine into the back. There were surprisingly comfortable couches, and they could see out windows all around.
The box came to life, with a rumble and a quiver. Cool air washed through. Then it rolled backward onto the paved road, paused, and rolled rapidly forward.
”This is a car.” Kim explained. ”Our second-hand Neptune station wagon, just about the safest car we can afford. It carries us where we want to go. No, it's not magic; it's an application of science. But we like it.”
Chlorine stared out in wonder. All around them other cars, small and large, were rolling similarly along the road. Most of the ones in the near side were going in one direction, while most of them on the other side were going the other direction. Every so often most of them stopped and sat still, for no apparent reason. Then they started again. It was almost beyond understanding.
They came to a plain where many of the boxes sat. They found a spot and sat also. They got out, leaving the car behind. ”But won't it wander away?” Chlorine asked, ”No. It's a machine, and here in Mundania machines do only what they are told. It will wait here for us.” Kim patted the Neptune on the nose. ”It wouldn't want to leave us anyway; we get along well.”
They walked into an unbelievably big building. Inside was a wide hall, and a big garden and fountain. Even Nimby was surprised. ”Your gardens are inside, while your hard floors are outside?”
Kim smiled. ”Sometimes. This is the mall. It's closed in so people can shop at the stores without getting rained on.”
They walked along the hallway, whose sides were filled with doors and big windows. In each window was a display of things. They looked. This was window-shopping, it turned out: looking without taking. The first window had shoes.
”But why don't they leave them on the shoe trees until someone needs them?” Chlorine asked.
”There are no shoe trees here. Not the type you know. Shoes have to be made, just as pies have to be baked, and pillows sewn and stuffed, and just about everything else.”
”Mundania is stranger than we suspected,” Chlorine murmured.
They came to a window with pictures of cold confection. ”Eye scream!” Chlorine said.
”Ice cream.” Kim agreed. ”Would you like some?”
Now she was hungry enough. ”Yes.”
They went into the store, and Kim asked the man for four cones. These came with colored b.a.l.l.s of eye scream set in the tops. Kim gave the man a greenish piece of paper, and he gave her a few small coins. Oh-money. It had been mentioned somewhere along the way.
The eye scream was good. Chlorine made a mental note to come here for more, next time they got hungry. But she would have to see about the money, because she didn't understand the numbers and pictures on it.
They came to another type of opening. This one had a line of people pa.s.sing a booth and giving money to a girl locked in the booth ”She is under an enchantment?” Chlorine asked. ”Doomed to stay there until a witch lets her out or a handsome dragon-prince rescues her?”
”Not exactly. This is a theater. This is where they show movies.”
”They show moves? Like dancing?”
Dug laughed. ”I think we'd better let them see the movie. This one is a returning cla.s.sic: Stony Scary Painting Tale. I'd love to see it again. We're just in time to catch the matinee.”
”But you've seen it ten times already,” Kim protested.
”So this will be the eleventh. It gets better with each repet.i.tion.”
”It moves better with practice?” Chlorine asked.
”In its fas.h.i.+on,” Dug agreed. He walked to the girl in the booth and gave her money, and she gave him four little pieces of paper. Then the four of them walked into the theater. A young man took Dug's four papers, tore them in half, and gave him back four halves. Chlorine took it on faith that this wanton destruction of what had been pretty papers made sense on some Mundane level.
Inside there were hundreds of seats jammed together, about half of them empty. They found four together in the center and sat facing a huge white screen. ”Pictures will appear on that,” Kim said. ”Sound will come from all around. We will watch and listen, and think about how it would be for us to be those people. That's how we get into the story. And remember, it is a story. It's not happening, and it never really happened. But we can pretend.”
”A story,” Chlorine agreed, not sure she understood.